why do girls like guys with a positive attitude, confidence?

Question

why?, it just pisses me off because I struggle to gain that sort of attitude, & I have a good reason for it, I'm a 19 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend, first year of college is almost over, I don't have a lot of friends, I only have 2, in a way they are kinda like me because we don't party, the reason why is because we never get invited, we don't know people who throw parties & don't know where they are at. Spring Break just finished for me & I didn't do ****, I didn't go on those fun high school/college road & plane trips to Cabo, Lake Havasu, Palm Springs, etc., all that typical white teen ****, the reason why i'm saying white is because I never hear about minority groups talking about that stuff. I haven't been to Santa Barbara for Halloween yet or other party related stuff up there yet. I was born with Asperger's Syndrome, which has to be the main cause for all of this, I have a hard time socially interacting with people, it seems like friends come to me all of a sudden

I go to a community college, which sucks *** because there are no fraternities, which makes it like impossible to party, & I haven't made any friends there yet, only acquaintences. I haven't hung out with anybody from there yet, I haven't partied in college yet, I don't see the point of transferring to a 4-year university because that means I missed out on 2 or more years of partying there, & experiencing living in a dorm. Like I seriously struggle making friends, it seems like friends come to me, like all of a sudden I make a new friend without choosing them to be my friend, it just happens like magic, unlike other people who can choose the friends they want to have because they know how to communicate better than me. Man, I don't think I will ever have a girlfriend, & I don't care about having one later in life because it will be too late, or just boring. Having a girl when you are 21 & over sucks, because it's all about commitment, like people start talking about marriage.

Answer 1

Sounds as if you think college is only for partying. Forget that!

You are what you think you are. As long as you keep thinking you are inferior you will be.

Answer 2

Because it's effing depressing being around a downer. You get sick of it.

As of note, I have Asperger's syndrome too. Back almost a year ago, I felt sorry for myself too. You know what happened to me when I lost my confidence? I lost a girlfriend that was also on the spectrum. Yes, even other Aspies don't like downers.


And as for partying, think about it this way, you missed out on 2 years of partying. If you don't transfer, you'll miss out on 4 years of partying. And anyways, you can find the party at a community college if you know where to look. Don't be so worried. Live life! Be confident.

In fact, try joining a dating site and try to take chances and make mistakes when it comes to dating. You'll learn a lot. In fact, our learning disability will make you better able to pick up patterns on people once you figure out what patterns to pick up on.

I used to be like you until I started making mistakes and taking chances and learning from them. It'll transfer into the real world and you'll succeed.

*Added*
You don't hear minorities talking about spring break adventures because we're usually WORKING TO PAY OFF OUR TUITION during spring break. And you have 2 friends. That's 2 more than many people with Asperger's have. You could have drove or taken a Greyhound to a local destination for spring break.

Also, it's news to me that relationships turn into long term commitments after 21. That doesn't happen until at least 30. Your 20's is the time where you have fun. You're no longer in high school and you're old enough to do dumb things legally and wise enough to know what to look out for so you don't end up dying from your own actions.

Live life up! But be responsible.
-Lee from South Minneapolis, Minnesota, Fellow Aspie.


**Added again** The person below should know. I lost my virginity to her in a Chevy Van. Damn she was good!

Answer 3

Ok. Yes, girls like guys with a positive attitude, as do most other people, generally speaking. It's the easiest thing in the world to choose to have a negative attitude. If I choose to look for the negative, you can bet your *** that I'll find negatives. At the same time, I can make the conscious choice to seek out positives, which can be a challenge at first if that is what I am not accustomed to doing, but nevertheless an achievable goal with practice (effort and a willing attitude). What would you get if you went to parties, met chicks, got drunk, and got laid? Have you ever asked yourself a question like that?

Answer 4

OH MY GOD! Quit whining! like the previous user said... you choose your friends ya... being 19 sucks and you're just out of highschool and so what? You wanna know why girls like guys with confidence and positive attitudes? its because we don't wanna be a rag... we don't wanna have to soak up the tears when they cry every second. And you don't have to be white to go on vacation... you just have to have money to do it and it seems like the people you are envying have money because they worked for it... what did you do?? You wanna go to a party? Try getting out there and showing confidence... that would be your 1st start. And You being a virgin at 19 is not that uncommon. I know a lot of men who have lost thier virginity when the time is right and your time hasn't come yet. Buck up soldier! You'll be a man soon!

Answer 5

The words you chose to use make you seem so...well, negative. Nobody wants to be around a negative person on a daily basis let a lone a regular basis.

Cultivate an interest in something besides girls and partying. Are you a book lover? That's okay, lots of girls out there like books. When you hear about some public event that fits with your interests, rearrange your schedule to attend. Even better, volunteer to help out in some way.

Volunteering helps put you in places where you can meet other people with similar interests. If you like dogs, you can sign up to be a dog walker at your local animal shelter. Girls find guys who are out walking their dogs very appealing, especially if they act interested in what's going on around them.

Do you like to dance? Then go to a dance and ask a girl to dance with you. She may say no, but that's okay. It's not the end of the world. Just ask another girl.

To sum up, lose the negativity, cultivate interests, and act the part you are trying to be. Eventually, it becomes who you really are.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I am sorry about your situation, but I must admit, you need to look at yourself, and what it is that you are saying. Life isn't all about partying and contrary to what you may think - commitment may be just what you need, not just to a woman, but to something, something you can devote yourself to - which may just help you gain the positive attitude and confidence that you have struggled to find and keep. I don't wish to upset you, just some friendly advice to think about.

Answer 7

You sound bitter with a sour disposition. Why would a woman be attracted to that. You need to be positive to attract positive experiences.

Answer 8

cuz they got great body , white woman should try to f... them and see how great r they >>>>.

Answer 9

Well...because it shows that you are normal.