I have a best friend of the opposite sex. We have been friends for 11 years. Both of our families are very close and we all interact all the time. My parents consider him to be their son, they know he is not trying to get with me or my sister. His son is my godson. We hang out all the time and we talk about everything. Thats not the problem, the problem is that people that we date can't handle our friendship. We both make it a habit to tell people that we have a friend that is of the opposite sex and we are very close but not close like that. We give them the opportunity to walk away before getting close to us. I don't think that I am wrong for telling people about him because my best friend has been there for me all the time and I can't see myself messing up my friendship with him because of someone else insecurities. My question is why do people believe that people of the opposite sex can not be close unless they have had a romantic relationship before or they are messing around now?
2007-03-31 20:44:57 · 9 answers · asked by CuriousStacy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
don't let a man mess up your relationship with your best friend. Do they really think that you would tell them about it if you and that person ever were together? you shouldn'r let them say anything to you and mess up your friendship, you'll find someone who understands your not the only one going through this.
2007-03-31 20:49:51 · answer #1 · answered by applebottmasian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experience is that, with best friends of the opposite sex, one person is always hoping it will become something more. However, that shouldn't stop you from having relationships with other people. Yet, it does, perhaps. So, ask yourself this: if the future you, the one that will be 70 years old someday, could come back in time and tell you what to do, what would she say? Would she say, "Hey, you had a great friendship but you never married because of this guy, and that's a drag"? Or, do you think she'll say, "Hey, you found a guy who would accept your friendship"? Or something else? Because, if this friendship keeps you from finding a romantic relationship (and it has for years, apparently), AND you're going to resent that, then you need to step away. Explain why and just go. But, if you can accept that this may be all you have, AND you feel it's enough, then keep at it and ignore jerks who don't understand. Personally, I will tell you that I had a couple of best friends who were men, and I lost them the day they married, and it hurt but it was the right thing to happen and we're still friends, just not as close, and I like their wives, too. So, think about your future and make your choice.
2007-04-01 04:15:34 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becuz its true and i find it hard to believe that he is so nice and you have never considered or thought about being with him. I have had several male close friends but when a woman came into their lives i gave them space becuz that woman has more of a right to him than i do becuz he has sex with her, children, live with her, married to her or whatever. As a friend I have no right to cause friction between him and someone who wants to share an intiamte life with him. And unless u two are ready to be that way for each other I think its immatre to assume responsible, mature, adult people should jus accept that he will be first and you will be first over romantic relationships. People are jealous by nature its a natural thing and no one will want to constantly have to compete with ur friend all the time to have ur undivided attention. There is a way to maintain ur friendship without letting it ruin other relationships before they get started. So you either find someone that has female friends to and totally understands or give them there respect and dont present your relationship with ur friend as a threat to any other relationship. You guys can have some distance and ur own lives and still be friends.
As for the last question its is very common for friends to end up sleeping together because that kind of closeness can easily fall into an intimate category. I mean the kind of closeness u have with the opposite sex is very similar to that of a mate. So be a little realistic and understand that is it a very normal thing especially when u start getting older and find that the connection u have with this person is hard to replace.
2007-04-01 04:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by exceptionallyexceptional 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also have a friend of the opposite sex,and I'll tell you he's the best thing that ever happened to me.We've been friends for 22 years.He goes where I go and vice versa.Which means I'll never have a relationship with anyone that does not understand him to be a part of me.He got married and his wife always tried to break us up.She even accused us of having a affair.{I thought we were never going to stop laughing}she was jealous because she could never have the friend part of him like,e I did.they divorced,were still together.I'll tell you what I think.Most people think males and females can't be friends like that because they have never had the pleasure to experience unconditional non-erotic love from a member of the opposite sex.Which if you ask me is the truest form of friendship and also the most complimentary,allowing each member of the friendship to be able to understand the opposite sex from their friend's perspective.This can come in handy sometimes.Plus he's watched my nieces grow up and when they have a "guy problem"they talk to him.He's a good man and I won't give him up for anything.I couldn't if I tried.I hope that you guys continue to grow closer like we have,and people who can't understand are to shallow for you to waste time and energy on.
2007-04-01 14:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by paulette b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only problem people see is that you will tend to get too comfortable with each other but then again we don't find many great best friend so don't lose them just because of someone you knew less than you best friend who has been there for 11years
2007-04-01 04:15:47 · answer #5 · answered by sheadrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is what u call a stereotype
see i too experience i have 2 really close guy friends and we do everything together then when people see us they think i m a ***** cuz i hav 2 boyfriends and stuff like that. i understand how u feel.
u juz hav 2 get on with it
2007-04-01 03:52:16 · answer #6 · answered by dramaqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend (male) and I have been best friends for over 40 years. He is happily married, has kids even grandkids. I'm godmother to his eldest daughter and HER eldest daughter. His wife obviously is quite aware of our friendship, she enjoys it because I'm the one he comes to when he is looking for a gift for her. They've been married almost 35 years and every gift giving occasion she always get's what she wanted thanks to me LOL
2007-04-01 03:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
because people are malicious and they like gossiping about other's life. they can't just mind their own life. i advice that you should show them that your friendship is indestructible by their gossips...
2007-04-01 03:54:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no problem...tht is what pissess me off...and makes me less high cuz im so pissed
2007-04-01 03:49:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋