Is a marriage without sex worth staying in?

Question

Should I leave or cheat on my husband or just get used to it? I don't know what to do...

Answer 1

Don't cheat....at least have the decency to leave him first. If you want to give yourself a disease, that's your choice. But don't go inflicting it on someone else that has no choice.

Answer 2

Hi,
Sex is only one aspect to a marriage, and it's relative importance to you is something that only you can answer. You need to first decide if you can stay in a marriage without sex, no matter what the reason.
And you may, upon answering that question, decide that it depends on why there is no sex.
Perhaps he has some hormone problems, perhaps he is too stressed for any number of reasons (work, money, etc), perhaps he is having an affair, and so on.
Have you talked to him, in a supportive way?
Have you suggested counselling?
Have you suggested medical help?

And perhaps you need counselling too - on how to deal with this.

I understand where you are at and what you are feeling.

Good luck.

If you want more ideas or someone to talk to let me know.

Answer 3

Can you get used to not having sex? It's the only fun thing adults can really enjoy. Seems unnatural and difficult without sex in a marriage. I'm sure there are some who can endure but I don't think I can. When you initiate, does he recoil, or make excuses? You have to ask why he is uninterested and let him know how you are feeling. Being angry, confused, neglected can definitely lead to an extra marital affair. It doesn't take much to arouse a man so he must be having major problems and has a lot on his mind or (correct me if I'm wrong) he is having an affair.

Answer 4

Hi there,
I just asked a similar question a week ago...and got some really helpful answers.
Cheating on him doesn`t solve anything, you still have the problem with your husband....it is just a way of avoiding having to deal with things (don`t ask me how I know that!!).

As top whether to stay or leave, I can`t tell you.....I don`t know myself. I know that I cannot stay in a marriage without sex and physical affection very much longer,
I am still hoping that we can rebuild a physical relationship, and am trying to communicate with him about that. I want us to go to marriage counselling, and he has agreed to it (well in theory anyway)
I have put up with a relationship without sex for quite a while and thought I got used to it......I have realised recently that I was just numbing myself to my true feelings.




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Answer 5

Obviously the lack of sex is affecting your self-esteem (which is normal). Your husband is no longer having sex with you so you feel neglected, unattractive, helpless. It may not be the actual sex you crave, just the closeness and your husband wanting you. In my experience, it is not that you are unattractive because men would rather have sex with an unattractive woman than not have sex at all. So the problem could be: he is having sex with another woman and feels bad touching you when he comes home (don't assume anything before talking to him), he is extremely stressed about something which is affecting his sex drive, or he is overweight. Just talk to him about it. You may even want to change things up a bit. I'm sure you feel like things are monotonous in the bedroom. What would excite you? Put yourself in his shoes and surprise him.

Answer 6

That's not a simple question. I would be curious to know why you don't have sex. That answer would influence my comment. Does he have a medical problem...lost interest....involved with someone else.......??? Maybe you can work on that problem. Cheating only complicates the problem and will ruin trust if you still have that. I think you need to talk to him about how you feel.....maybe you can come to an arrangement that will work for both of you. Get used to it??? Do you really want to be involved in a relationship without intimacy??? Once intimacy is gone, the relationship seldom survives......

Answer 7

Only you can answer that question. Are you getting other things out of the relationship that make up for the lack of sex? Is he getting sex elsewhere? Is the real problem the lack of sex or the lack of intimacy? You must answer all of these questions and more before deciding.

As for cheating on your husband, that is never the answer. Either fix your marriage, put up with the current situation or get a divorce. No other option is acceptable -- and personally, I don't believe that the second one is, either.

Answer 8

Well since intimacy is part of a relationship, obviously there is a factor or factors that has lead to non-interest here. Perhaps you may need to have that discussion first. I would to talk matters through, then counselling if that doesnt work, then when all else fails then be separated. Don't get me wrong, but I think there is more here than just a SEX issue.

Answer 9

Don't leave him or cheat on him; first of all ask him if he's got problems about having sex?
Maybe there is smth. u don't know and u have to know; maybe he needs ur help or he needs to talk to u but can't bring the subject. TRY TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT IT.

But remember, that marriage without sex never last long.

Good luck, dear!

Answer 10

the sex shouldn't matter but it can be a very important part in a healthy marriage. it is a sign of affection. tell him how you feel and maybe things might change for the better. you shouldn't ask yourself something like that but do you still love him...and cheating on him won't help solve any problems but might make things worse.

Answer 11

I didn't have sex for 6 months while my husband adjusted to blood pressure pills. He had no interest at all, but he still cared for me and was affectionate.
It just depends on how your man is treating you on whether you should stay or not.