2007-03-31 19:29:40 · 35 answers · asked by Angela M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we were separeted for a couple months and got back together. and now wont look at me the same
2007-03-31 19:39:31 · update #1
I don't think a silly little trinket or anything like that is going to make him feel better about what happened.
Sex is not the initial answer to a fight.
If my wife and I are in disagreement about something, we need to have a long talk...no blaming, just a positive talk. Things will smooth over then. And THEN you can get to sex!
2007-03-31 19:38:10 · answer #1 · answered by Mark D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were separated, even if you had an affair during that time, you didn't break any agreement. I believe that during a separation - unless it's something like a business trip or military duty where the person was forced to leave - neither person can expect that the other person is going to be abstinent. If he isn't looking at you the same way, well your relationship has changed and is indeed not the same. He is blaming you for what you did and he has to get over it if the love between the two of you is to grow. In my estimation, all you can do is be patient and give it time. He may end up feeling what you did is intolerable to him and he will break it off permanently. Or he may want to separate again and have his own affair. All of these: true emotional forgiveness, permanently ending the relationship, or his having an affair are possible consequences. I know an older couple where he had an affair (no separation from his wife) and she took her time until she met someone she wanted to have an affair with - both forgave the other and they have been very happy together for the past 30 years. The ball is in his court now and there's no way for you to know what he is going to do. As far as I am concerned, you can be sorry for what you did but saying so or trying to make up for it is too late - the horse is out of the barn.
2007-04-08 09:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by xxxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wronged him, you should not expect things to go back the way it was. He will not look at you the same. Most likely before what ever happened , he put you on a pedal-stool like a flower untouched, but now that the flower has been spoiled, he looks at it with disregard. You can't make things right so don't try. What you can do is let him know that you appreciated him, and love him for everything that he is, and that what ever he is feeling, thinking or going through, you will always be there to LISTEN. If he needs to vent, let him. Don't cut him off with the im sorry or but wait or that's not it, just listen. Have you ever heard the saying "we are made with two ears and mouth for a reason. Less talking and double the listening". It will be way easier if you do this to let him know you love him and that you are sorry. Don't go to him to ask him what is on his mind. let him come to you.
2007-04-08 19:09:10 · answer #3 · answered by Angela P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, there's nothing really you can do to make them change, except show them you can be trusted and lots of ''real'' love. Time will have to heal all things. That is why I always say to people... be careful of what you do to the ones you love, because even if they love you, want to stay with you after you hurt them, don't look for things to be the same as it was the first time. It is hard to look at the person you once love with all your heart after being betrayed, called names, beaten ect... If it's love that you feel for a person, you should try never to violate that bond. Good luck to you!
2007-04-07 12:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you did to deserve this but since he took you back he obviously still cares.
Give him some time to get over his hurt. Continue to be the best wife you can be (but do not keep begging for his forgiveness, once is enough).
If giving him an appropriate amount of time to come around doesn't work either go to counselling or tell him you cannot handle this treatment anymore. He should not punish you for the rest of your life. I wish you the very best!!!
2007-04-08 17:22:52 · answer #5 · answered by gabeymac♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated. Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere. On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action. Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.
2007-04-08 05:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by mssgtmidnight1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may never look at you the same way but that doesn't mean you can't go on and try to build something new together. Trying to bring your relationship back to a point in the past is a mistake - because it is impossible.
2007-04-08 03:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you cheated on him it's going to take a long time for him to look at you in a loving way and trust you. you didn't give enough info. anyway the best way to show you're sorry is to never ever let it happen again and don't put any kind of doubt's in his mind. be very attentive to him and his needs. constantly reassure him how much he means to you and how much you value him and the marriage. remember actions speaks louder than words. have patience this will take time. good luck.
2007-04-07 05:57:52 · answer #8 · answered by leapyrangels 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when two people separate theres a reason and when u get back together its not the same theres trust and issues that have been broken im separated from my husband right now for 3 weeks and when u go back its never the same tc and gl to u
2007-04-08 16:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone makes mistakes.....that doesnt mean you have to pay for that mistake for the rest of your life. If your husband took you back, then he has to forgive you for your mistake. He obviously has not forgiven you and probably he has taken you back to make you pay. Maybe take the opposite approach......get angry, tell him, if he cant forgive you, then let you go. Also tell him, if he wants to make a go of this marriage then he must attend marriage counselling with you.
Its not right he is holding onto this one mistake. I am sure you have shown him you are sorry. If he chose to take you back, then he also has to choose to forgive you. He is not forgiving you, so there is nothing you can do....Im sure you have tried to make up for your mistake and it doesnt matter what you do or say he is choosing to hang onto your mistake. You are not a criminal for making a mistake, yet he is treating like you are one. If he trully wants this marriage to work, then both of you need marriage counselling from a good, qualified counsellor....that is the only way, I believe, he will let go of the past.....that is something a good qualified counsellor will work on......his inability to let go of the past, because that is the reason he is treating you the way he is....he hasnt let go...he is not really giving you another chance. He has a problem that needs to be addressed. Like I said, you dont have to pay for your mistake for the rest of your life. If you are continually trying to prove yourself, then I guarantee it will only be time until you are totally miserable.
Take care.......stop feeling guilty and start allowing him to see that he has a problem.
2007-03-31 20:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋