Can anybody read my outline and tell me what do you think?

Question

I'm not realy sure about my outline if there is any mistakes and not organazed well i would be happy to have some ideas. Thanks for help.
Thesis statement: Money and material are not the way one can feel successful in life.
Topic sentence1: First of all, love is the greatest success of all.
a) in family
b) friends
c) education
Topic sentence2: In addition, it gives a lot of benefits.
a) happiness
b) health
c )self confidence
d) positive thinking
e) rigth decision
Topic sentence 3: Finally, these will help to reach our goals.
a) good career
b) life

Answer 1

Your outline is quite organized. The only thing you should change is the thesis.

It's somewhat awkward. Rephrase it somehow. Maybe, "True success in life is measured in love, not wealth."

Answer 2

Well first off, it's not in any standard outline form I recognize. Not a problem if you don't have to turn it in, so if you don't or if the teacher told you to do it this way, ignore this.

I would change your thesis statement to say that love is the way one can feel successful, since this seems to be the main argument in your paper.

Finally, try not to start the last of anything with 'finally' or 'in conclusion.' It makes it sound like you need to announce that you're coming to the end of the paper, which is bad.

(you see, using 'finally' is BAD....)

Answer 3

Overall,it is a very good outline , however it can be compressed a little and be more organized

Thesis Statement:Money and material does not mean one is successful in life
Topic Sentence 1--Love is the greatest success of all.
a. in family
b. friends
c. experience
Topic Sentence 2-- Success gives a lot of benefits
a happiness
b. health
c. self- confidence
d. positive thinking
e. the right decision was made
Topic Sentence 3--Benefits of success help in reaching goals
a. good career
b. life in general

I hope I helped you. I hope for the best for you and by rewording did not offend you because it was a good outline.

Answer 4

Love is the between the superb successes any person can gain. Being enjoyed or loving a guy or woman comes from the honour and being concerned they have shown in direction of yet somebody else. interior of relatives interactions, we can successfuly triumph over adversity with love and expertise that is aceptance of a supportive relatives. whether, love between acquaintances is somewhat diverse. acquaintances are chosen, whilst a guy or woman's relatives is betowed upon them. If friendly love is quite shared between 2 human beings, that could be a sucess of its very own. desire it enables