Why Why Why?

Question

My husband left about 10 weeks ago has been sleeping with a chick at work and who knows who else so i was thinking he had moved on thats what he wanted he left. in the past 2 weeks i have been getting text msg from him just stupid questions he already knows the answer for or just starting an arugment. My daughters birthday was last week and i let him have her for the whole day and he brought her to dinner through out dinner he was looking at me then we all went our seperate ways his family and mine i get home within 20min of saying goodbye he text me that he is happy i found someone new by the way there is no one new my friend thinks its because i have been working out and am happy without him that he thinks i need someone to make me happy. My question is if he has moved on and does not want me like he keeps telling me Why keep msg me and wanting to know what i am doing we have 3 kids together but he never rings them and when he text it is never anything to do with them

whats going on everyone thinks he is starting to relised what he has lost and give him couple months and he will be begging to come back we were married 4yrs together 6 what do you all think

Answer 1

It could be that he's starting to realize he screwed up. It could also be something as retarded as jealousy...like he cast you off for some other girl, but now he can't stand the idea of you going out with another guy and is just trying to glean information from you. It could also be that its purely an ego thing...he expected and or needs on some level to see you pine away now that your without him. Since he's not seeing that, he's wounded and second-guessing himself and wondering why your so happy (basically an ego crushing).

I wouldn't naturally assume he wants you back. That in itself is an ego driven conclusion and could make you look silly if you assume so and confront him. Instead, I'd just do what you feel you want (be receptive to his messages, or politely yet firmly let him know he's barking up the wrong tree) and see how it pans out.

You also mentioned that you were working out and such. Sooo, whatever anyone says, often times physical reasons can be the straw that breaks the camels back when it comes to affairs. If you weren't he "dream woman" before and now you've been working out and have become the "dream woman" his hormones may be saying "Dude, look what you just passed on...she's looking FINE" and he's regretting his situation.

However, if that's the case, do you really want someone who cheated on you for that reason? Once a cheater, always a cheater is proven true more often than not!

Hope this helps! chemtutor101

Answer 2

Sometimes when you leave someone , for whatever reason , you still have a difficult time thinking about them moving on and being ok with things . Yes I realize that's creepy but it happens . Just be careful not to make too much of it and set you'r self up for anything .

Answer 3

Why would you even want him back? He sounds like a total jackass. Change your cell phone number and don't give it to him. If he needs to get ahold of you when he has your children, tell him to call your mother's cell phone (or a sibling, friend, etc.) I think he is stringing you along to keep his options open. Also, he may not want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Move on and find yourself a great man who loves your kids. Being happy and looking good is the best revenge!

Answer 4

He's just trying to keep a good relation with you, so the divorce won't be nasty, usually ending up with him on the shorter end of the stick. Besides, ultimately, most divorced people end up sleeping with each other again long after they're divorced. So, you might as well get used to it.

Answer 5

I think that he knows he had made a terrible mistake and is very unhappy so he wants you to be unhappy and in some way miss him. He is playing a mental game so that if he desides to come back you would be too weak to fight him off. I am glad that you are staying strong and fighting him off and I hope that you keep it up and make him miss it forever.
You see the image i get of him is the first time is the hardest he would probably try it again.
In your case however the second time kills the crow. Please don't give him the pleasure of breakign your heart again. This time it could destroy you in so many ways... Be strong!

Answer 6

just don't pay attention to him. all he want's is for him to have fun with other woman and for you to stay single and unhappy. i think that's a man thing?! he's jelious and doesn't want to see you with anybody else. man sometimes believe that they own a woman, even after they seperate

Answer 7

it could be many reason that he calling you one is that he has
children with you.but it also could be that he know that the
grass is not as greener on the other side, but what every the
reason is both of you need to deal with this if you want to
get back get counseling if not then time to move on it not
good for everyone involved.

Answer 8

I think that he is realizing what he lost and may want to come back, but if you are a strong woman you don't need a son of a b*tch in your life that isn't even going to call to talk to his kids. He is being selfish and wants you to be miserable. He thinks in his own male ego that you should be weeping for him to come home. Tell him to bug off unless he is wanting to talk to his kids. And as far as the text messages ignore them. Eventually he will get the hint that you don't want to talk to him anymore. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

If he says that he has moved on or doesn't want to be with you I would mention that to him in his messages. Don't be mean about it, just say look, you left me & said you were happy so why are you sending me messages? I would mention to him that the kids would like to talk to him also & he needs to be there for them.

Answer 10

It is possible that he has realized what he left behind. Maybe it is not working with the chick now. Probably thought the grass was greener on the other side and is realizing it is not. It is strange that he contacts you and does not ask how the kids are doing but maybe he is feeling quilty about how he has done thier mother. Who knows how a man thinks. You said it yourself when you said sleeping with this chick and who knows who else. He is a cheater. You have to ask yourself if you still want him or not let him back in your life. Just remember usually if the cheat on you they will again. And you must think about how he is doing his kids since he has gotten involved with another woman. Do you want to live like that and chance this behavior happening again or let him go?