being a newlywed is hard?

Question

has any other newlyweds or long term married couples noticed that it is hard and totally diff to be married. i have been married for seven months and it isnt like when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend. i thought it wasnt true when people said that everything changes when you get married but im starting to believe its true? what do you think and any advice, we fight like cats and dogs lol

Answer 1

Welcome to the club. Congrats on joining the ranks of people that have gone before you. Yes, it's hard. It's life. It's worth it. You have the privilage of everyday trying to put the other person ahead of your needs. And a man at that. Hey the first year is always the toughest. Alot of decisions are decided during that time period. Like wgich side of the bed to sleep on. Take your pick b/c it's going to be your side for a looonnng time. Sharing the bathroom w/ a stinking man who throws his dirty undies all around. Juggling jobs and fixin meals for your man (slaving over a hot stove syndrome).

Hey it's going to get better. The longer you are together the more interdependant you will become. You are on flesh now b/c you made that decision. As time goes one, that decision will seem like more of a reality as you grow together. Sort of like mixing tow different colors of Playdoe. After a while ya can't get'em apart.

I'm glad for you, stick with it kid. It gets better. Now go give you hubby a big kiss.

Answer 2

Your right everything does change when you get married. And typically the first 5 years is the hardest. And fighting is going to happen but you need to learn to pick your battles. I have now been married for almost 7 years and have had my rough patches in my marriage, but it was worth every hard time that I have experienced. Once you learn to pick your battles and compromise and Communicate which is key. Then you will know how your marriage is going to go, most of the time. Sex is an important key too. So I wish you the best on your journey and Congratulations!

Answer 3

I have been married for a little over a year now, we were together for almost 8 years before we decided to get married, believe what they say....EVERYTHING changes. My husband & I have fought to no end over things that didn't even matter when we were dating. Just be patient, the first year is the hardest!!!! I was told that in the beginning & have come to find it to be true...lol Just hang in there, it will get better. Just do nice things for eachother, go to diner & talk about thinkgs, everything will be ok. We were actually on the verge of divorce not long into our marriage because we could not find a common ground, but we finally did & now things are fine.

Answer 4

Have more sex and that will quiet him down. Marriage is always a challenge but definitely the beginning is tough. Two people learning to live with each other and knowing there is no walking away anytime you feel like it makes it easy to fight. Don't throw in the towel so soon. You both have to bend more or less at different times to survive. If you last for many years you will have something valuable - memories and a full life.

Answer 5

i have been married for less than a month. Prior to that we lived together for 3 years.
Nothing has changed. When we first moved in together we fought alot, but that has since settled down. I guess the comming together of 2 peoples lives is what strains the most in the begining.

Answer 6

It is true. Things DO change. But what doesnt break you makes you stronger, so stay committed. Dont throw in the towel yet, 7 months is soooo early on.

There are always adjustments learning to live in harmony together. Unless you are brother and sister (ha ha yuck!), you both had entirely different lives before now. You cant just expect to suddenly see eye-to-eye on everything.

My best advice is be completely open and honest with each other. Communication is the healthiest way to stay in love.

Good luck and God bless!

Answer 7

They say the 1st year is hard due to different habits, personalities, you and him get too confortable and don't make and effort to look or be nice, sometimes, try to understand that everybody has his 5 mins. of being mad, when he is mad give him his space, don't argue to win, negociate everything whenever you get mad, stay away from him because you'll say things that will make you regret, don't give up, as long as there is love and respect to each other, with time and patience you'll see how things change but makes your relationship more stable and mature, remember there is 2 people with 2 diferent ways of seein life, you guys don't have to agree on everything (that would be boring) remember... negociate (win-win situation) you are not going to change him and he is not going to change you either but if there is love you guys will make it ...good luck

Answer 8

The first year or two is usually spent getting to understand each other.

Learn to fight fair. That is, don't accuse him, with "You never" or "you always" statements. Instead, say things like "It really bothers me when this happens."

Never go to bed angry.

Give him every chance to have his way, as well as asking for your way sometimes.

Take heart. Once you get these issues out of the way, the marriage generally settles down.

Answer 9

I've been married for 12 years and it's hard. You have to pick your battles. Only stand your ground if its really important to you. Sometimes in marriage you have to relinquish control, both men and women. When your just dating you can go home when your mad, when your married your stuck in each other's face.

Answer 10

Sometimes people show their real colors and qualities after they are married. During the dating stage, people try to impress each other and dont show the negative aspects. Its possible you are seeing the real person you married. or vice versa.