Here's the skinny: Lived in NE with "Joe". Had a baby with Joe last year and he signed the birth cert as well as legal acknowledgement of paternity. Joe is moderately abusive, I left in August of 06. He knew I was going, I gave notice at my job, had movers, etc. Moved to IL. Things have deteriorated over the months, he leaves harassing messages on my voicemail, calls me names, etc., etc. Doesn't give me a dime. He is now threatening to come take my baby away. Logistically, this would be very difficult as he is broke and far away. Legally, does he have any rights? He missed the opportunity to get me for crossing state lines, his months of silence are legal acceptance of my residence. Can I legally stop him, get a restraining order or something? I have 24 voicemails saved from the past 7 days, including one with the threat to take my boy.
Please spare me the speech about having a baby with this guy. I know, I'm now trying to move on and do what is best by my boy.
2007-03-31 16:31:43 · 9 answers · asked by Melissa M 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I know this is for a lawyer & judge, I just want to make sure I have grounds so I don't embarass myself when I call.
Also, we were never married.
2007-03-31 16:38:55 · update #1
Ok, no problem with court. If he files for custody or visitation, I will do what I can to fix this mess.
In the meantime, should he show up tomorrow, somehow get a hold of my boy and take off, is he in violation of the law? Would there be anything I can do?
2007-03-31 17:31:26 · update #2
I'm not a lawyer, and I don't live in the US, so things might be different there.
It will depend on the law in the state the child was born in.
Fathers do have rights, but they are limited. His lack of participation in his child's life, and lack of support, act against him. He would have to prove you unfit, and himself more fit, in order to get full custody. There is a chance, though, that the court would award him shared/joint custody. At minimum if he asks for it, unless you can show he has harmed your child, he will probably get some sort of access order (visitation).
He is however harrassing you. If there were no child, leaving that many messages, being abusive verbally, etc, would be grounds for a peace bond/restraining order/ some legal action. So I would say that with a child there, they still are. Keep those messages! Being abusive and harassing you will work against him when this goes to court.
The good news is that rights come with responsibilities. He has a right to see his son, yes, but your son also has the right to financial support. The courts will most likely award you some sort of child maintenance. Bad news ... if you have a job and he doesn't, he could possibly try to get support for himself from you!
No lecture here from me! I'm raising my 14 month old son myself, trying to get custody too.
My best advice is to get legal counsel. A lawyer will advocate for you, and will know the ins and outs of family law.
2007-03-31 16:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by melanie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My suggestion, since you 2 are in different states, I don't think he poses a harm to you, but I would call & make a police report as well as a restraining order just to be on the safe side. He does however have legal right to the baby since he did sign the birth certificate. If you really want to get full legal custody of your baby, the way to do it is take him to court, prove that he is an unfit father, which to me sounds like he is if he's calling leaving threatening messages, which by the way keep those on your phone for the police report. I would change my number, screw living your life in fear. If you really have to, move again, I mean stay in IL but find another place to live & make sure that you don't give your address to anyone that he could get it from.
2007-03-31 23:38:48 · answer #2 · answered by Tracy H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you both have not gone in front of a judge, your husband cannot take the child away from you.
He has rights....but he cannot legally take the child away from you until a court has ordered so (or if the court grants him visitation rights).
Judging by your comment, it doesn't appear any sane judge will rule in his favor. Do what my mother did and simply change phone numbers....it stopped all the harassing phone calls from my a$$hole step father.
Good luck to you and your baby....
2007-03-31 23:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by Charlie Bravo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a question for a lawyer and a court to answer.
But to make it short and sweet, a lawyer would likely get a restraining order against Joe, and also require him to pay child support.
That won't stop Joe forever, but it will remind him that he owes your child big time. Which is why you need a lawyer to keep reminding him for the next 17 plus years.
2007-03-31 23:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by krollohare2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep compiling a warchest of evidence.
Unfortunately, since he signed an acknowledgement of paternity, he does have some rights.
You have two options :
1. Try to bribe him to sign away his paternal rights
2. Bring your sufficiently huge pile of evidence to court, and start the process of getting a restraining order, or whatever else is required to get him the hell out of your life.
Good Luck, and STAY STRONG. Your son is worth it.
2007-03-31 23:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
gurl u beta get a lawyer ..... keep all the calls everything bad and take notes dates times etc. legally right now u cant keep him from his child legally he could come and take the child and there wouldnt be nothin u could do ......right now ur best bet would be gettin a lawyer and keep all that stuff to try and prove him unfit for now until u go to court.....and get thru the custody battle ....good luck i've been there i know how ur feelin'.....
2007-03-31 23:44:03 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He can petition the court (where you are) for custody.
But he would need to be able to prove that you are unfit, or that he is in much better position to care for the child.
2007-03-31 23:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by coragryph 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you really need to a legal expert in your area. if you cant afford it I am sure there must be free legal aid. I doubt you will get a good answer her on Yahoo.bring those voicemails with you.
2007-03-31 23:38:03 · answer #8 · answered by jim_2ooo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have concern - go to police and have a Sargent listen to the voice-mails with you. Ask advice from him/her.
2007-03-31 23:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by ThatsThinkingWithUR Dipstick 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋