12 Year Old Girl Wants To Wear Makeup and Lingerie?

Question

Do any other parents of preteen or teen girls struggle with this issue?
First she wanted to wear makeup at 11. So I agreed to eye liner at 12 and we go from there.
Now when we go shopping, she says Limited Too is for little girls and wants to buy the sexy bra and pantie sets.
And of course all her friends already wear thongs so why can't she.
It seems like just yesterday, she was wearing diapers and potty training .
Now she wants wants to dress like a 20 year old.
What happened? My little girl grew up in less than a year?
I am actually kinda depressed over the whole thing.

Answer 1

When I was raising my children, a motto I went by was "choose your battles wisely".

Decide what is worth fighting over.
I would say, give her the lingerie ... it's underneath her clothing anyway, so let her choose what she wants, while staying within your budget.

Makeup ... I would hold to a little harder ... eyeliner and lip gloss (not lipstick) at age 12 is reasonable, then draw up a plan whereby she can "earn other priviledges at certain ages by showing responsibility ... like if she consistently comes home at the time she is supposed to for 6 months ... or consistently does chores over 3 months, etc.

If you "give" on some things (like the lingerie) then it gives you more ability to "stay" on the things that you deem are most important to with hold for a bit longer.

Answer 2

12 Year Old Lingerie

Answer 3

The make-up issue can be compromised on - - - allow her to wear something very natural looking. Like Bare Minerals or something very light. The underwear issue is something that I would NOT allow. Thongs at age 12? Ridiculous. So what if her friends wear them. That doesn't mean she must do everything her friends are doing . . . . . in a few years her friends are going to be having sex - -- - so unless your daughter learns that it's okay to be different and to have better moral values, then she will be going along with whatever her friends are doing.

Remember, you are still the mom. And going into the teenage years with her will be very tough - - - so she needs a mom that will know how to set limits - - - - even when it comes to certain underwear.

P.S. - My daughter loved shopping at Limited Too until she grew out of that size - - which was about age 13 or 14. Not everything they sell looks "little girlish".

Answer 4

I remember when I was like that.... Now I just laugh about it. Pick your battles. Lingerie? Okay as long as she doesn't show it to people ie....boys. I remember at 12 I wasn't really into Limited Too anymore. More Abercrombie Kids and Aeropostale....big label brands. That's what her environment usually goes around. Makeup.....maybe a little bit. But talk to her about all the acne problems she'll have later in life. Make sure she doesn't have heavy foundations. They clog her pores and ruin them. Buy her a tinted moisturizer. Get her some pale lip glosses. No one wears bright lipstick as it is. Mascara. She doesn't need that. If she begs you over and over again for it, buy her a clear one but make her 'trade' a makeup article she currently uses for it. Kids should be kids. They should have fun and not worry about their sex appeal. I remember a year of my wasted childhood on things like that. Now I'm 16 and still don't want to be an adult!

Answer 5

Its a tough decision...i understand. My advice to you is not to ask any questions on these sites because you will just get yourself even more confused and hurt. People are very harsh and you don't need that. I'm over 30 years old and i've seen a lot in life. Trust me, delete your question and find the answer that's within YOU. Only you can make yourself happy. You have do to do what you really want for yourself, you know....I really wish i was an expert to help you, but no. Remember this is your life, many people will make fun, abuse, even might hurt you. Whatever decision you make, make it because this is what you want and it is who you are. Don't listen to anyone. I really hope this answer has helped you. I made the mistake and asked a question myself and all i got was different answers =( Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

I can understand minimal make-up for a 12 yr old but I would never let my 12 yr old daughter wear lingerie. Especially if she is trying to argue the fact that everything else is for little girls.

She obviously is growing up way too fast and needs to be reminded that 12 is still a little girl. Buy her what you normally would.

And for someone to say who care as long as its under her clothes is totally wrong. She is obviously into impressing boys so maybe she wants to show one her lingerie collection. I have a 12 yr old niece who thinks she is older like that and I hear lots of stories about what goes on.

As for her friends in thongs and all that stuff. Are you sure they do? Thats an old line to convince parents to allow certain things. Hiding a panty line is not the reason behind most girls that age anyway. If you can see a panty line on a 12 yr old girl maybe what she is wearing is too fitting and inappropriate for a 12 yr old girl anyway.

Don't be depressed about though. This is what happens, they have to grow up eventually. I just think that you should keep your eyes open because there is a lot more going on in their little minds then you think.

There are too many adults allowing their kids to grow up so fast and that is how all the peer pressure starts. If all parents would just put their foot down and let their kids be kids parents like us would not have this worry.

Be strict. Allowing her to wear "older" stuff will appeal to "older" men/boys. This is the beginning of the whole sex talk thing. May sound crazy to some because this is "just clothes" but its true. Girls dont want to look sexy in lingerie for themselves only.

Answer 7

You ever heard the term 13 going on 30. Well it sounds like your little girl is trying to express her sexuality. All 12 and 13 year olds go through it. Try to find it amusing that she wants to wear sexy lingerie. My mommie bought me my first teddy (the lingerie kind) when I was 12 for xmas. Imagine my horror and surprise opening that up in front of everyone. It was too big for me till I was 17, but that didn't stop me from trying it on and prancing in front of the mirror! I was also reading Glamour and Cosmopolitan at that age.
I'm 30 now, and I wish I was 12 so I could still play with Barbies.

Answer 8

well dont let her thongs are bad they can make you sick let her wear g strings instead compromise with her as you dont want to let her do to much or she will be preggie so limit her but blocking her will just make her want to do some of the stuff more

im almost 14 and still have never owned a thong or g string although g strings are cool i wear bikini panties and bras some are sexy and showy but not all!

Answer 9

Unfortunately, our popular culture (Britany Spears et al) is largely to blame for our young girls becoming sexualized too soon.

The good news is, you can prevent it from happening.

1. Instead of taking her shopping to "trendy" stores, try consignment and thrift stores for more modest clothing.

2. 12 is too young for real makeup but you might want to show her good skin care, washing her face twice a day. A clear lipgloss is fine for that age too.

3. If she is starting to develop in the bust area, forego the sexy bras in favor of more comfortable bras. Chances are she doesn't need underwires. Sports bras are great because they are comfortable.

4. Same thing with thongs. Cotton underpants are much better (and healthier) than nylon underpants or whatever material thongs are made of.

5. Encourage her hobbys and other interests. Introduce her to esteem-builders like music lessons or dance lessons -- anything to get her mind off of early sexualization (and boys).



Good luck!

Answer 10

my mother didn't let me where thongs at 12 but i understand the makeup thing. when i was 12 i wore some makeup but if shes wearing to much tell her give her advice this is a tough time in her life. As far as sexy underwear and bra sets when i was 12 my mother came shopping with me and let me pick out i wanted but in moderation. she let me wear more grown up things but to whore-ish shes growing up every child/teen goes through this be there for her but dont punich her for trying to be in with the croud its not her fault girls get into things to early try to guide her away from it

Answer 11

not sure what to say either, have known stepdaughter since she was 7 and now she is getting ready to go to jr high in august, she will turn 13 in december and luckly she is a total tomboy she has barely started puberty unlike others she doesn't want to grow up at all wants to stay a kid as long as she can