I have not had a job for about six months. Since then I have been bringing in some kind of income to make ends meet. My husband is upset with me and wants to end our marriage if I don't find a full time job. We have had enough to get by on. I am willing to work but why the threats? Should I put up with this?
2007-03-31 15:51:26 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep in mind that men are not too bright concerning keeping a wife happy, family togetherness, love and affection and attention to a loving mate. Do what you think is right for your family and ***** him.......................
2007-03-31 16:32:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a lot more going on if your husband wants to end your marriage just because you haven't worked in six months. You need to find out why he's so upset over you not working. Is he afraid it'll ruin him financially? Many families can't make it on one income without some planning ahead. I was able to stop working, but I made sure my car was paid off to help with the loss of income. Do you want to just get by or live comfortably as you get older? Once you find out his reasons, then you'll be able to understand the importance of both of you working if there are goals still to be met.
2007-04-01 03:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be far more supportive. Threats is something that I would certainly not tolerate. However, if the reason why you have not found a job is because you are not able to find one -well that can't be helped if there seems to be a lack of employment. If there are jobs on offer and you have decided that they are not for you - then maybe you should apply to show your husband that you are trying to assist too.
Remind your husband that marriage is for better or for worse, and tough times are there to be worked through.
Tell him that you will not put up with threats and if need be be, you may also leave him because of them.
Never allow a man to over power you.
Love and joy
Beth
2007-03-31 16:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by cheeky_beth_62 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is willing to throw away your marriage just because you are between jobs, you need to be looking for the real reason he is talking divorce. If you two are making ends meet, there is no reason for him to threaten you with divorce. As partners in a marriage, you should never have to threaten each other over anything.
If you have children and are taking care of them and your home, he should be grateful that you are working on the side to bring in some kind of income. If you don't have kids, you just want to make sure that you aren't laying around the house instead of seriously looking for work.
2007-03-31 15:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by Manda B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not mention why you are not looking for one so it is hard to get the full picture of the situation. Are you in any way sick? disabled? problems with eyesight, qualifications, fired from last job and so on?
What happened is that your husband most likely wanted to get you back to "normal", as in the socalled "normal" people are usually employed and paying taxes to government.
Depressed people tend to stay at home unable or unwilling to fight for survival.
Your resume will also suffer if you cannot explain the gaps between jobs. Your next employer will ask you the same things. "Was it a sick leave?" "Were you in school?""Were you fired from your last job?"
Your husband probably knows all of this. Threats of divorce etc is not being supportive of your prolonged vacation. Give it the benefit of the doubt and just believe that it was his own way of shocking you into doing something about your situation. All he probably wants to communicate is that he is not that rich, and your economic situation requires a working partner.
2007-03-31 16:07:49 · answer #5 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This answer is coming from a mother of two. When my husband and I married we both worked.We have been through some really tight spots financially. I am sorry that you are in this position and I hate to have to give one to the guys here but we have spent the last 50 years raising hell about equality between men and women. Now that men are not the only ones in the family to wear the pants, I don't feel that it should be their responsibility to be the sole provider for the family anymore. Maybe he realizes that in today's rat race it takes everything both spouses can make to make ends meet, and he doesn't feel like it's fair for all of the burden to be placed on him.
I know I"m probably not the best one to give this advice because I have always been a working mom, but I don't want my husband to have to take care of his little lady, because this little lady is more than capable of caring for her self.
2007-03-31 16:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Threats are NEVER okay in any marriage, under any circumstances.And if he feels that way...tell him you're from Missouri! The show me State!! He can move out,get an apt., pay support , keep active medical insurance on you & the kids, and pay "maintenence" until you ARE on your feet with a full time job...at which point you'll be making out better financially anyways! Especially if you have kids...Oh PS> Now, they are also making dad's that abandon their duties help pay for daycare too!! (Just an FYI). have a blessed day Dear ;-) And NEVER let a man talk to you like you are beneath him!!!
2007-03-31 16:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by lizrdluvnmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't have enough money for the things he wants to buy. It is not acceptable for him to threaten you like that, very immature. He may just be more materialistic than you, too many families are like that these days. Husband and wife both spend 60 hrs a week at work and give their kids everything but their time. I don't know if you guys have kids or not, but don't let him bring that attitude into fatherhood. Continue to look for work, but don't let him pressure you to do something you don't want to. Ask him why it is such a big deal if you guys are getting by ok.
2007-03-31 15:59:23 · answer #8 · answered by melissa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question I think you should be asking is not to us. If he is going to try and be threating about this and you get a job what will it be next that he will be yelling and telling you that you must do? Then ask yourself how much are you going to put up with before you either leave or get his mind right to where he will leave or come around and have a normal talk about what is the problem.
2007-03-31 16:02:28 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not fair. You already have a full time job. Like taking care of your two precious children. If you want to work outside the home thats o.k. too. But to threaten you and your security is very WRONG. Tell him you're employed right now w/ taking care of the kiddos right now. Very wrong of him to threaten your marriage. Very. Tell him not to verbally abuse you that way (it is verbal abuse to threaten a woman's security like what he's doing). Especially a mother of young children. Hope you can work this out with him.
2007-03-31 16:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He feels like you don't put in EQUAL effort, I'm sure. Unless there is a reason for you not working (kids), then put an effort into it. He might feel like he is working his *** off & you are doing nothing. That hurts a person. So, unless you guys decided together, that you would not work, then Yes, he has the right to threaten divorce. He's not happy. Would you stay in a relationship if you weren't happy? I know I wouldn't.
2007-03-31 15:58:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋