My hushband of 24 yrs. now loves outside the home 60 miles away, and has for a yr. I still have 2 teen sons at home. I travel to see him on weekends, we always have a wonderful time together. during the week we might go out dinner, then he goes his way, I go mine. back to our home. This week end I chose to stay home. I just don't know why he dosnt want live with me. I am starting to fill like i am living in a marrige of conv. Is it silly of me to think, he is staying alone missing me the way i am missing him? I still love this man, but also fill like we are missing a lot of time together. I dont want to grow old in this situation and am starting to fill uncomfortable around him. Help Please.
2007-03-31 14:00:54 · 8 answers · asked by lilyinthevalley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you didn't say why he lives away from you ...
i, personally think that he wants his cake and eat it too...
i would do some midweek investigating and see if he is there by himself or not...i would also tell him that he can either live with me, like a normal married couple, or grant me a divorce...i, personally, could not live like that!
2007-03-31 14:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like he has the best of both worlds... freedom to do as he pleases when he wants & a wife to call on when he can't get it elsewhere. What about the children in all of this? How can he be a decent father if he doesn't even live in the same house. I would talk to him & find out why he is choosing to stay away. Tell him you are not happy with the arrangement. If he doesn't have any answers then make a decision yourself. Are you willing & happy to continue this way, surviving on the few scraps he throws your way or end it completely & move on. Remember you can't rely on someone else to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. You are a strong woman & you will survive if he chooses not to be in your life! Good Luck!!
2007-03-31 21:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by Tiga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he living outside the home and so far away. Why isn't he at home helping to raise the kids? Does he ever come home or are you the one that always goes to him? It sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. I am sorry but this is not a normal marriage. You said that you don't know why he wants to live like this..maybe you should make him sit down and talk to you and explain. I am sorry to be so blunt but my guess is that he is not being faithful and has someone on the side where he lives. Sorry but you asked. I would divorce a guy like that. You should not have to live like that. Being faithful and raising his children basically by yourself. You need to get rid of him and move on with your life. It is hard especially if you love someone and have been married so long and have children on top of that but you should not have to live like this. Married and yet not married...it is not fair to you.
2007-03-31 21:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i do not feel this is right or healthy for any relationship or marriage at all. You need to ask him why in the world he does not want to live you with anymore. Seems to me like he is abandoning you. To him this is a marriage of concienience. He is using you if you ask me and he is playing you for the fool. I understand that you love him BUT i do not feel that he loves you at all. talk to him and see if he is open to going to marriage counseling with you. He needs to live with you as a husband does or should or this is not much of a marriage if you ask me. I hate to say it BUT i feel he is hiding something by not living with you. He may be having an affair or women on the side. This would send red flags my way big time if my husband did this to me. You may want to hire a pi or have a friend follow or check up on him to see what he may be up to. You just may be surprised what you find out. Good luck to you.
2007-03-31 21:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound as if you have a husband. You have a companion who drops in and out of your life. You do know that something about this is unnatural. Why don't you have a private detective check up on him to see what is really going on? That may help you to make up your mind.
2007-03-31 21:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by bombastic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are feeling distant and that you need him back home. If he doesn't want to come home tell him you would like a divorce.
You cannot have a healthy marriage like this.
2007-03-31 21:11:21 · answer #6 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he insist on this arrangement? You can take him to counseling or go by yourself, to see if there's more you can do to turn him back to the nest.
2007-03-31 21:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Don't give up yet. Give him a chance.
2007-03-31 21:16:30 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋