can you please proof read my writing, thank you?

Question

Cell phones are the latest devices that attract teenagers nowadays. A cell phone is enormous way in favor of keeping in touch, communication and safety. In any case of an emergency
(Not knowing where they are, bad weather etc.) your child will be able to contact you if needed. There are numerous teenagers who own a cell phone and are able to look after themselves.
In the approved manner, managed by the parent, cell phone usage can also grant a lesson in financial responsibilities for the child.

Contrary to the well- accepted belief, parents must be looking out for their child’s safety and be in touch. Parents have long had the capability to call their children to examine about their location. It is important to all of us to where our child is and to know of their return. The parents must be looking out

Answer 1

Second sentence: "A cell phone enormous way keeping in touch, communication.."
or
"...phone advances keeping in touch, communication...
Third sentence, strike "any"

There are numerous... who own cell phone and are able to look after themselves"

In a manner approved and managed by parents...responsibility (not plural responsibilities there)...

..to examine about their location. is awkward. "to determine their location" is a bit less awkward.

It is important to all of us to where our children are and return.

Answer 2

Call me critical - but I am a Language/English Teacher 7-12 grade Certified and I believe I can help you. ) Rather than point out all the errors, I will rewrite it to show you how much better this can 'read' and sound. Accept or reject - I'm just here to help.

Cell phones are the latest technological devise that attract teenagers today. A cell phone has many viable and productive uses including, communication and safety, and accessibility in case of emergency. Parents can rest easy knowing that they would be able to contact their child if needed. Many teenagers own cell phones and have proven that they can be responsible for themselves and their phones. When parents approve of their children possessing a cell phone, and can monitor and manage the usage, they are also helping their teens understand the financial responsibilities involved in owning a cell phone and paying for the charges. Parents should sit down with their children and review the phone bills and discuss and explain services.

Consequently, we know that parents are concerned about their children's safety and location and with the latest technology which teens have come to enjoy, parents and teens alike, can both have the comfort and security in knowing they have cell phones to be able to stay in touch as well as teach teens a great lesson in responsibility.

Answer 3

If this is for an essay or thesis,it's a great guide,but you must put things in better order. First,define a cell phone. Why is it so popular with kids? Why is it good as an emergency contact on both ends? Parents and childrens? You also don't mention anything about the GPS Locators that can be added to any cell phone in case the person is unconscious or missing and can be found through this system. Also,you mention a child being able to learn financial responsibility. How? Please don't think I am judging you,I'm not. I just know what educators like to see. Good luck and it's a great topic. You have great potential.

Answer 4

for the first sentence, don't use both latest' and 'nowadays.' for sentence 2, use the word 'they' instead of 'cell phones,' and not the word 'enormous', it doesn't fit.
In any case of an emergency
(Not knowing where they are, bad weather etc.) your child will be able to contact you.
I don't like the parentheses, it's not formal enough for an essay, and don't use the word 'they' to describe children, and don't change from plural to singular.
the next sentence is good
In the approved manner, managed by the parent, cell phone usage can also grant a lesson in financial responsibilities for the child.
this sentence is confusing. what is the approved manner? Is the comma supposed to be there?
Contrary to the well- accepted belief, parents must be looking out for their child’s safety and be in touch.
Change to: Contrary to well-accepted belief, a parent must look out for their child's safety and keep in touch with him.
next sentence good
It is important to all of us to where our child is and to know of their return.
Never use the word 'us', 'you', or 'I'. And if you use the word 'child', which is singular, the pronoun can't be 'their.' It must also be singular.
The ending doesn't really make sense. It seems incomplete.
You have good points in your essay, and you took a good side. Just use my pointers and it'll be even better. Good job!

Answer 5

1. You forgot the comma between communication and "and" in the second sentence.

2. the "Not" in the parentheses does not need to be capitalized.

3. you don't have to have a space between well-accepted. If you do want a space, take out the hyphen.

4. It would be best to use different phrasing when saying "....capibility to call their children to examine about their location."

5. Again, change the wording of the sendtence after the sentence mentioned in #4.

Answer 6

You forgot the peiriod on the sentence "The Parents must be looking out"

Answer 7

You need a comma after "emergency." The sentence "Contrary to...." does not flow well. "Parents have *(omit "long")* had the capability to call their children to *learn of* their location. It is important to all of us to *know* where our....." Do please finish your last sentence! Overall though, it is a good paper with good points.

Answer 8

Its all good! And by the way even I have a cell for the same reasons.