husband cheating on me!!?

Question

i found out last night!! wat should i do???

Answer 1

did you cut him off?

Answer 2

Have you verified the cheating or is it just rumor? What is the extent of the cheating? Does he know you know?

In marriage reconciliation should always be the first avenue you seek, this is not just a boyfriend but someone to whom you pledged in some sort of ceremony that you would live together forever.

Failing that, the main difference between marriage and just shacking up is that marriage and its dissolution are controlled by laws. That wedding you had was a stylized formal agreement whereby you agreed to have the law determine how you would thereafter divide assets, child custody and support.

To assist in asset division, grab all bank and credit card statements and as many W2's, 1099's and any other financial information that you have otherwise overlooked. Close any joint account if you fear more charges will incur more debt on you. Change passwords for your online accounts.

Divorce is basically war, do not help your opponent, burn those bridges and come out the other side ready to move on. Sure you can be amicable but I suggest this only after the war. Strong relationships such as marriage lend themselves to parties still believing what the other tells them, that they are trying to help them etc.

Finally, you can also use this relationship to your advantage, that you are trying to help him, be amicable, etc., as you screw him all the way to the bank and the daycare. Good luck.

Answer 3

Decide whether or not you can forgive him..Your having lots of emotions right now and the worst thing to do is act out of anger..Also think about what made him cheat. Were you having any problems or was this completely out of the blue? Is he the one who told you, or did you find out another way? How does he feel about what he did or is doing? If you let him off scott free he might do it again..So if he is truely sorry make him gravel awhile..Divorce is always an option if you can't get over it..but people are so quick to do that..We are all human and make mistakes..the question is if you can forgive him for this one? Good luck!

Answer 4

I can't tell you what to do, you have to make that call on your own. But I can tell you what I'd personally do if my hubby ever cheated on me and I have forewarned him prior to the marriage so he's aware that allowing the wrong head to make his choices could put him into financial ruin for a lonnnnng time. If my hubby cheated on me, I'd get his a-s-s for everything I could, the house, spousal support, medical coverage and anything else we have of value. I know it sounds like greed but it's not and the best way of getting even is hurting his finances. I'd also post his name and face all over the internet and in all public places I knew he would be in letting people know he's a cheater and liar. He'd come to know quickly I could be his worst nightmare, ever! ;-)

So now some advice I can offer, if he's cheating, you need a plan of action. If he does not know you are aware, don't tell him. Get pics, record phone calls with a device you can purchase at Radio Shack for like a hundred bucks, get detailed cell phone bills and check to see who he's calling. If he knows you know, then play it off like it's no big deal so you can start to get yourself in order, secure your future. Start a bank account using another address so he can't find out or even better, just buy a fire proof safe and keep it elsewhere and stash as much cash as you can. Get all the debt into his name and the items of value into your name then transfer them into someone Else's name before a divorce.

I don't mean to sound like such a b-i-t-c-h but I can't stand it when someone cheats on another. It's painful, not fair, not right and those who cheat need to learn a valuable lesson and whatever the cheating spouse looses is simply their own fault! If my hubby & I divorced for reasons other than cheating, I'd noway be a b-i-t-c-h.

Good luck!

Mary in the tiny village of Onsted, Michigan

Answer 5

I believe that every punishment should fit the crime. So I'd be relying on how I found out, how long he's been otherwise engaged, where the other woman is now, what his plans are, what my plans are, and it would also depend on whether I had children with him or not.

I'd take all these things into consideration before doing ANYTHING. Time seems to be on your side at this point. Also, does he know you know?
Sometimes it's helpful to divulge these types of secrets at a vital time in your life...say at the dinner table with all your relatives as well as your in-laws.
It ultimately depends on what you WANT to do, girl!

Answer 6

Confront him in a calm way. But be sure you are sure. ANd don't let him get away with denying it or calling you crazy, as that is men's way out, just call the woman crazy.
If he is truly sorry and means it and agrees to tell her it is over and you hear it or see it then okay he can have another chance. If he hem haws around and still remains secretive then kick his *** to the curb, you are better off by yourself, life is too short to put up with this type of nonsense. Good for you for finding out.

Answer 7

NOTHING. Don't put yourself under the stress of thinking you have to have an answer as to what you're going to do - take as much time as you want and need. No one says you need a plan immediately. Time will help you decide what you want versus making any rash decisions, whether it be second chance or booting him to the door. Remain composed, without that, nothing positive can happen for you.

Answer 8

I would not be so quick to divorce him or leave him. Instead, I would talk it out with him. Ask him why he did it, and if there are any problems that he'd like to share. Ask him if there is anything that you could do to resolve those problems. Marriage is a sacred ceremony, and should be given a chance. I am sure that you and your husband can work out any conflicts.

Answer 9

First, take a deep breath. What do you know so far? Did he tell you or did you find out? Is he remorseful? Is this the first time? There are too many unanswered questions. The initial shock is sickening, but as time passes, you will have a clearer head about what to do.

Answer 10

first of all....i am so sorry..i know how hard it must be for u,,,i went thu the same thing.....what i did...is I talked to my friends about all of the feelings i had bottled up inside of me....if ur husband doesnt know u know...con front him...if u dont feel comfortable talking to ur friends....keep a journal....or u could write down ur feelings and then throw them away. when u do decide to start dating again....dont question why that person might be cheating on you, question why that person is prolly not chating on u

hope that helps
I hope u feel better soon
Again...im really sorry

Answer 11

first take some time to think things over. don't make any decisions right now.
only you can know if you can work beyond this breach of trust.
I wish you the best of luck