People Start Over With Nothing All The Time..??

Question

In a very controlling and emotionally abusive relationship. Not to mention the person I am with is a compulsive cheater. Liek an addict. Always needs to be validated in this way by others all the time. Constantly.


If I leave now I leave with nothing. Been in it 8yrs.
People start all over all the time right???

Want to get a job and pay car off. I could pay off in 3 months. I know car is just a car but it is freedom to me. I want to leave this area and go back to Orlando.

Answer 1

Yes and believe me you will be way better off. You deserve better. You need to start believing that.

Answer 2

Of course they do! Marriage can be a blessing but so can divorce. The same can be said for couples in a relationship bringing things to an end. It's a painful process for anyone who's shared that much time with someone. However, there comes a time that you need to weigh out the options of the quantity of time you've been together versus the quality of time you currently spend together. None of us are getting any younger and every year that goes by that you're miserable is a year you'll never get back.

Anyone who's involved in a controlling, emotionally abusive relationship knows that's no kind of life. Not to mention the fact that monogamy is a problem, material possessions are trivial at this point. Nobody deserves that! Once you regain your self esteem, you'll see that's the best thing you end up taking with you. Between the support from familiy and friends, every day that passes you'll grow stronger. Believe me, I've been there, done that, and things always have their own way of working out. There's so much more to gain by self-confidence that no material possession will ever take the place of.

If this person constantly needs to be validated, they're obviously not happy with themselves. Therefore, they're never going to be happy with you or anyone else for that matter. I'm all to familiar knowing what it's like hanging on to that last shred of hope thinking things will change. People generally won't change until they're ready.

In closing...yes dear, people do start over all the time. I know exactly what you're going through. It's scary, definitely not easy, and very intimidating. Keep in mind, happiness often requires sacrifice. Don't sweat the small stuff...you can gain your own material possessions over the time you're rebuilding your life. The positive side of that; they will be your own with new memories to go along with them.

I wish you nothing but the best. Please take care of yourself...

Answer 3

Why would you leave with nothing? Anything you have accumulated together is half yours. But if you feel that you can't take anything now, get a lawyer and in time things will be split equal. Or just let it all go. You can start over. Get a small place and fine things on sale, at yard sales and thrift shops. Dollar stores are out there also. You may not start back out with the finest of things, but you can upgrade as time goes by. If you are willing to leave with out material things, then you are ready for the relationship to be over. If you are more worried about material stuff, you aren't ready. I hope you are ready, you deserve more. Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

I started off with nothing but a bag of clothes and my three kids. When I got my first apartment it was furnished with second hand everything. But I did it.
When I left my ex he sold everything we had together (even the car) I had no job and I lived with my mom, dad, two brothers with my three kids. But I got a job, found my apartment and was much happier in the end.
If you put you mind to doing something and you stick to it, anything is possible.
Why would you want to continue to stay in a relationship when he cheats and is abusive. Hold you head up and show yourself what a woman is really made of! You can do it!

Answer 5

You can start over with nothing but your life back maybe. That's a huge increase right there. You can get a couch or tv any time you want in a marriage just like you can when you move out.

Answer 6

Sure do and I am one of them. Now by the grace of God I am doing great. You can do it all you have to do is set your mind to it. When leaving make sure you get anything and everything you want or can move because once your out he will not allow you back in. Hon, he is a player and he could probably melt butter with his words, but actions speak louder than words. Best Of Luck

Answer 7

Do not invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship without marriage...Never have kids out of wedlock..
Get a good Pre-Nup..
Never marry a man with personality or behavior problems as
they will only get worse after marriage...
The older you get, the harder it is to start over...

Answer 8

Its hard at first but you will get the hang of it . I started over twice and every time got better because i got to know myself better . Just remember who you was before you met the guy and this time don't look for a stud Muffin

Answer 9

My ex told me it was over Jan 1 2006, he spent all our money and was trying to run me into the ground My family was there for me and have found myself on my 2 feet and better than ever

Answer 10

YES. I did after 7 yrs and your ex sounds very very similra to mine. Be careful while leaving (let people know, open up a storage unit before hand, change your mail... if you live together...). You CAN do it.

Answer 11

Yes, I did it once. I had a lot of family support. I'm in a great marriage and have been for 35 years.