how should i deal with loud manipulative husband?

Question

he pulls the strings and i am supposed to dance. he shouts at me or anyone that doesnt agree . leaving would be good but its not a simple option. if i cant get advice here , where can i get it please

Answer 1

This is a type of mental abuse. It shouldnt happen. Try to be strong. Speak to your Doctor, or try looking in the local library for help information. Yes it is difficult, when in a relationship like this, it isnt always easy to just walk out!! Ok its easy for people to say leave, walk out, dont put up with it. It isnt that easy!!!! If you have a good friend that you can talk to, that understands and can give support speak to them, you will need someone to be there for you, to help give you strength. You shouldnt have to live like this, you are worth better. Take care & good luck! Sorry I cant tell you exactly what to do. You have to do what you feel comfortable with and can cope with.

Answer 2

That's tough.
How should he deal with whining, gossiping wife?
You should start by getting away from the monitor and getting into your marriage. Find what is right about your relationship and and embrace it. Life can get pretty dark if you only see the shadows.
Always remember that you can change no one but yourself, so start there.
If it seems unbearable then get counseling. Sometimes having a referee in the room makes all the difference.
Find your God and lead your husband to the same place. Being selfless is impossible if you don't believe in something bigger than yourself.
Don't be a quitter. Leaving is almost always the easy cowards way out.
Don't listen to any of the busy body hens in here. They talk tough but if your marriage fails, it's your and husbands lives that are damaged not theirs. And. When you and your husband work through the tough times the reward is all yours.
Now go stand strong a love your husband.

Answer 3

He sounds very controlling. Shouting at you is very disrespectful & I would leave him as soon as I could. Seek the advice of a lawyer as soon as possible because he won't change anytime soon, as that's his nature. Men who act like that, love the feeling of power. If you want to leave badly enough, you will find a way. Make your plans to leave, just don't discuss what you have in mind with your husband, until the time is right. Good luck & be strong & stand on your own two feet.

Answer 4

Ever hear the expression "Kill them with kindness"??? That's what you have to do here. When your husband shouts, he's looking for a confrontation. And of course when you get angry, you yell back. This is exactly what he wants. He appears to thirve off of these confrontations, whether it be you or someone else. He's always looking for an excuse to pick a fight.
My advice... don't give him the satisfaction. When he starts yelling, ignore him. It will be difficult, but you can do it. Let him whomp, stomp, yell & holler all he wants. All you have to do is give him a smile.
I did this and it drove my ex absolutely batshit. I also did other things like refusing to speak to her unless she could talk in a civil tone, cranking up the TV volume or just reading and refusing to acknowledge her. I personally REFUSE to get into a shouting match or be drawn onto one.
As good as my present wife (of 13 yrs) is, she sometimes tries to draw me into a confrontation. I let her know right then that I know what she's up to and I refuse to participate. Works wonders. Really takes the wind right out of her sails. ANd this is what you need to do. Take the wind out of his sails.

When your husband starts his crap just tell him "Hey, I see what your doing and it's not going to work with me." (or something similar). Never show your anger because this is what gets him off. Now go stick it to him... nicely.

Answer 5

You only have 3 options

1. Shut up, sit down and put up with it

2. Get a ball bat and swing at some balls

3. Get out

What he's doing is called verbal abuse, no hate mail here, I'm not saying that if I yelled at you it's abuse, I'm saying if that's the way your talked to on a regular basis, it's abuse.

And yes leaving is the best option whether you have kids, a job, a car. leaving is a good option

Hope this helps, email me if you need too

Answer 6

you can play this a few ways. obviously you love him?

Ok see if he will sit and discuse this. Tell him it makes you unhappy.

If you have tried that then its obvious he donesnt care about your feelings.

In this case ask your self why you should put up with this. if you got family or friends to talk to would help

if not have a word with social services for advice as they aren't always there to breath down your neck. they can offer advice on if you need support to get out of the relationship and any pros and cons with finding a place to live and child issues.

You need to ask your self, what do you want, and can you put up with it?

Do what makes you happy, it might feel like a mountain to face if you choose to leave him, but honestly its not as scarey as it first seems (trust i speak from experience)

theres also organisations out there and just google the numbers in your local area :o)

Youll get there and also good luck hun. Your stronger than you believe

Answer 7

Some men expect and have been raised to expect the woman to behave as such. He will probable not change if he is like that and it seem's that there is not talking to him. There is probable no dealing with him cause even if you go for help he would not be willing to go. Sometime's leaving isn't an answer then I would just try to be the best you can be and learn his way's. Maybe you could get counciling but it wouldn't help if he isn't willing.

Answer 8

make a plan to leave find somewhere safe to go especially if you have kids,you need to be strong if you stay he will ruin your life,and any confidence you have left,the longer you stay the more you will fear the outside world and become afraid to leave,yes your wondering how will you survive ,what if this what if that. but the life you will have when you walk through that door would be a free life.dont expect it to be rosy straight away i think the first 6 months will be a tough time.you do not need to live like this,your like a animal in a cage.please get out

Answer 9

You must follow the advise you are being given,it may be hard and we don't know the ins and outs of your life or why it isn't easy to leave. Maybe you have children maybe he has said that he will stop you having the children,or that you are having a baby?.Just get out of there,you will never be able to be your self,go girl what ever the odds just go.

Answer 10

This guy is not just manipulative. He's downright abusive. If you decide to remain with him because it's not that simple to leave, then you will have to put up with this behavior, but I hope for your sake that you don't. Read the book "Controlling People" by Patricia Evans.