usually a victim of abuse?
2007-03-31 11:05:48 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Abusers are more often than not victims of abuse when they were children. That does not make it an excuse, nor forgivable.
2007-03-31 11:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bullies do so because they have been taught this skill through their own desire or through past models (parents, teachers, friends).
An example may be the parents spoiled him. He wanted a candy bar when he was 5 years old ... Mom & Dad said no, he screamed gave a great temper-tantrum and finally his parents bought him that candy bar. The rest of his maturing, he found ways to manipulate those closest to him to get what he wants at any means.
They tend to do the same intimidation to men, but this often results in fights & alpha male behavior. In some ways this is too cool 4 him because it helps him finally mature.
However, when dealing with a woman who is mild in nature, the manipulation can be far worse than the man intends it to be. The flip side a real timid woman needs to learn the positive traits of standing her ground so she too can mature.
It is said we seek relationships with those who can heal us. Metaphorically, dancing shows this compromising the two engage in. However, many times healing becomes more hurting. Obviously, if the woman shuts down it's not a healthy relationship ... or if she is being beat, something is WRONG.
2007-03-31 18:26:11 · answer #2 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. This is a myth that has been perpetuated by men who abuse to help incur sympathy. Men who abuse women are often raised by men who are disrespectful of women and they don't take the time to get over it once they move out and start mistreating women themselves.
GREAT book that explores all of these "abusers are actually just misunderstood victims" myths as well as other myths - "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft.
2007-03-31 18:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by Shrieking Panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possible, but not necessarily so. We are a victim based society after all. And psychologist has given everyone an excuse for their bad behavior."Poor me, I'm not bad. I need help to deal with MY past. It's not my fault. I'm a VICTOM too. I personally believe when society at large finally gets weary of this cop out. They may decide to give thies people the help they deserve. Private sessions in dark alleys. Sorry bout that. I just hate oversised, predetors who brutalise someone who he pretends to love. Then blame her, his parents, society at large for his behavior. He's not a man, he's hardly human. But still I believe he deserves the same respect you would give any land fill.
2007-03-31 19:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by Perry B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that is a good possibility. However, the guy is without excuse. We need to take responsibility for our present actions. We can only change ourselves now and for the future, not others who have hurt us. We cannot change our past.
"..one thing I do is forgetting the past and pressing on to the goal..."
Take care and God bless,
~nikki
2007-03-31 18:12:18 · answer #5 · answered by nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a coward without excuse, even if he was abused during childhood. He is deserving of jail time.
2007-03-31 18:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by ShadowCat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋