She left me 5 months ago for a coworker and we divorced. We where highschool sweethearts and married for 14 years. She just came to pickup the kids and we had a very emotional talk for about an hour. I asked her if the grass was greener and she said no its just different. I asked how and she told me that he is more affectionate and I told her thats how we where when we met and after 16 years and two kids marriage is work. She was crying as well as me and it helped me to see why she left. I still hurt and having a very hard time moving on. we live in a small remote town and I feel so much pain still. How long does it take to get over your first love?
2007-03-31 08:20:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can only take it one day at a time. You will always have feelings for her, but now you need to start thinking about yourself also. Go out with friends and enjoy life as much as possible. When you don't have the kids make plans for a weekend away from the same boring everyday life, you will find this will make the week more bearable for you. Try not to think so much about what could have been, that is a killer there. Set goals for yourself and work out. Working out helps with stress. Take your time and don't try to push your feelings aside and not deal with them, it will only hurt worse later on. Good Luck
2007-03-31 08:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never totally get over anyone you loved. Your feelings just come in a different form and you learn to deal with it. I lost the love of my life almost 8 years ago when he left me and went to Oregon to be with an ex girlfriend. It still hurts when I think about it, but then I remind myself that the reason he is gone is because he wanted to be gone. I don't want somone around that doesn't want to be around me. Even though I still think about it once and a while and still care very much about him, I don't dwell on it or wish it different. So, I guess my answer is this:
All you can do is try to learn from whatever mistakes you might have made and move on when you are ready. You don't have to win any races here, just live your life and try to be happy. Try to see any reasons you might be a better person for this happening. Good luck. You sound sweet, and I am sure you will find someone who can appreciate your good qualities in time.
2007-03-31 15:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by Yomi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Honey...I am in the same boat as you. My marriage lasted 19 yrs and we have four kids. You never get over it. But keeping busy is what helped me a lot. If you live in a house..redo the yard. I re-did my front yard last summer when my marriage fell apart. I have started repainting the inside of my house. Whenever my pain and loneliness got overwhelming I just do something physical. YOu can learn a new hobby or pick up an old one. Just keep busy. Times I just put my iPod on and go for a long walk. I promise..the pain will feel better. It will never go competely away but it will feel better. Hugs and best wishes to you.
2007-03-31 16:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, thousands of miles away and comparable problems. My wife became last year a psychological crises, that makes her behave totally irrational. I moved to an other flat with our two little children and she found "the love of her live". A multiple convicted prisoner, committed because of violent crime and raping.
But that's only the one part of our bygone marriage. The other ist my live and contentment during this marriage.
Did you were completely satisfied all these years? Didn't there were some unfulfilled requirement? And what did you refuse to kept your marriage on?
In my past there where so many things I abstained from and now there's my chance to enjoy all these things.
Ask yourself, where did you make compromises all the past years. I think, there were many ... probably more you'd like to admit.
Take your chance, find your new life!
In Germany, where I'm coming from, there's a figure of speech: Also other mothers have beauty daughters.
I hope my orthography and grammar wasn't too bad, I'm out of practice writing english.
Greetings from Berlin
2007-03-31 15:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by perdü 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I know this is a hard time in your life. You were together for a very long time and 5 months is just a drop in the bucket really compared to the years spent with her. There is really no SET IN STONE period that you have to get over her. It is just when your heart is ready to move on. It's okay to feel hurt or angry... for as long as you need to.
But there has to be a point where you decided enough is enough and I know it is easier said than done but you will have to find something to help you fill that empty spot in your life. YOU WILL HEAL.... it will just take some time. And even when you think you have gotten over her, you will still have days in your life that you will find yourself missing her still. You will be okay.
2007-03-31 15:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by VMSS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of that Little town and make a new life for yourself . In your case the grass would be greener on the other side . Go for the gusto whats keeping you there nothing but self pity
2007-03-31 15:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't expect to just get over it like that - you love her and you guys were together for a very long time. 5 months ago is nothing. It's probably even more difficult because you feel like she moved on so quickly.
Just bide your time - give yourself time to grieve. If you take things slowly, you have a better chance of being better off - your ex will hve a rocky road jumping from one person to the next...
This way you can find yourself and who you've grown to become. Good luck.
2007-03-31 15:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by Jax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know.
But like it or not you life needs to change and you must proactive in the process. if your not life will take its course on you.
My first suggestion is to take a vacation to another country or somewhere that is completely out of your element.
That way you can get out of your skin for a while.
also workout, it really helps!
lastly, believe in yourself. No one will if you don't.
2007-04-04 14:45:37 · answer #8 · answered by urban guru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might take 1 or 2 years if you stay single.
If you found a girlfriend it would be less.
2007-03-31 15:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by Heads up! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will get over WHEN you find someone else to fill your heart as long as you long for her to come back you will never get over, time for you to go out to make new friends even one night stand will help a little.
2007-03-31 15:26:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋