My husband cheated on me, I love him dearly, and have decided to stay with him. I am having a hard time dealing with this, I want to put it behind me. Can anyone help? I write in a journal, and I have written an email, which was very theraputic to this woman, and I dont know what else to do? I am starting counseling this week, but will I ever be able to move on pass this and get on with our lives?
2007-03-31 06:00:28 · 12 answers · asked by etrombetta41402 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to be honest I don't think you can. You cant trust him and in my case he never stopped cheating so I divorced him..It was hard but I am happy that I didn't stay with him and raised the kids on my own..
2007-03-31 06:05:04 · answer #1 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've been betrayed by the person you love most and you never be quite the same person because of it. However you've made the decision to stay so you must forgive him (and no, you won't forget that it happened). Tell him that it will take time for you to trust him. If he has nothing to hide, he will hide nothing from you. You have the right to know where he is and what he's doing and he has the responsibility of making sure you do know. The biggest issue is that he absolutely must hear from you how hurt you are, how devastating this was to you, and how important it is that he accept anything and everything you have to say and do in your effort to move on. He has to GET IT. He can't just say he's sorry; he has to understand how you feel. Only then can you move on.
2007-03-31 13:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure we are all going to say the same thing. It will be hard and you will NEVER forget and all going to counseling will do is make you have an extra bill unless he is going too. He did the wrong and if he loves you and wants it to work, he has to show accountability. Just watch him, sometimes they might go back for second helpings. You definitely can't throw it in his face everytime you have an argument, because that's playing dirty. If you decided to stay you have to give him the benefit of the doubt.
2007-03-31 13:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being the wife of a man who cheated before we were married,yes you can get over it.It will take time and you will even gain your trust back in him and if he is truly sorry,you can trust he learned from his mistake.counseling is a good step but you are not the only one who needs the counseling,your spouse needs to go with you so both of you can work out this trust and infidelity issue together. I can say that my spouse cheated before we were married had been dating 4 months and we have been together for 7 years now,he has been faithful,if he is running late he calls me and if his single friends want him to go out he tells them he will go but only if I can go.and he does this because he wants me to have no doubt in him ever again.I say hang in there if he has only done it once work things through ever how you have to,but if he does it again then you will not ever be able to trust him and you should move on.
2007-03-31 13:38:57 · answer #4 · answered by leoslady3900 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the choice you have made to stay with him is obviously going to be hard. the trust may never exist again, or will come back but be a long time ahead..... if you start your therapy and feel that you are doing all it takes to make it work, realize that you shouldnt be putting yourself through this. you didnt do anything wrong..... HE did. after all the effort you give, and you still feel that nothing is changing, i would leave him. there are so many other good men out there that will never do anything to hurt you. you just have to be content with yourself and do what's best for YOU, not worry about him. he f-ed up, remember..... you didnt!
2007-03-31 13:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient - your trust has been broken. You are doing all the right things, it just takes time. As he proves himself and earns back your trust it will get easier. You can get past this and have a wonderful marriage - it is possible for someone to mess up, realize what they did was wrong, and never do it again. (Take it from someone who messed up).
2007-03-31 13:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be hard but you have to stay focused on putting the affair behind you.That's the past look to the future.
2007-03-31 13:11:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please read and take my advice.
Pray and ask God to fill the whole that is in your heart.
I left my second husband almost 29 years ago. We were compatible, in every since of the way. He was cheating I'm almost certain, but after all these years, I've discovered that I should have remained with him because I still love him.
Don't leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Hang in there if you really love him.
I had no body sane to tell me the truth.
2007-03-31 13:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by pp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what you are doing. Time, and more time. And a partner who is honest and willing to let you feel your pain. I wish you the best, I will have you in my prayers. God bless ****
2007-03-31 13:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep talking about that thing with him. The more you expose yourself to this the more it will get easy for you to digest it.
2007-03-31 13:08:05 · answer #10 · answered by K B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋