I have a friend she has been married for 6 years, she has been rekindled with an old flame, and she said that she is really falling for the old flame again. Her marriage has been on the rocks for the last 2 years and she thinks that its her way of realizing she needs to move on. I dont know what to tell her. She told me this and asked me what do I think but I told her I need some time to get my mind on it. What should I say to her???
2007-03-31 04:59:36 · 20 answers · asked by Ms. Q 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no it's not wrong but she need to make some hard decissions soon
2007-03-31 05:11:20 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you marry someone, you are making a lifetime commitment. Her marriage may be on her rocks because she wants to take the easy road (the newly rekindled love with an old flame). Marriage isn't easy; it takes hard work sometimes. But when you've committed yourself to someone, you need to be able to work through those hard times to be with your husband.
If the marriage is rocky, however, for a serious reason (he cheated on her, he hits her, etc.), then it may be a different situation. In that case, I think the other person has broken the vow and you should be free to leave the marriage.
But if that is not the case, she should know that this fling with the old flame is very likely going to be something short term. She may be ruining her entire marriage for something that won't last long. And what's the meaning of marriage if you're still going to leave your husband whenever somebody more exciting comes up? Plus, a lot of people who leave their husband for another guy find out that what made the extramarital relationship spicy was its taboo. When that relationship is no longer taboo, it may lose its allure.
Tell her to be careful, and keep her in your prayers!
2007-03-31 12:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by tertiahibernica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend was a guy, you probably would have strung him up about cheating on his wife. It's a double standard you are looking at. Your friend promised to love and honor her husband and now she is not. She needs to be honest with her husband and move on if her marriage is on the rocks. If her husband had found the need to move on this way she would be crying to you about him being a cheater and you would probably both vilify him. Tell her to grow up and be an adult and stop trying to use you to justify and action that she knows is and was wrong in the first place.
WOMEN are far more unfaithful than men, a survey reveals. Forty per cent of females cheat on lovers, compared with 34 per cent of males.
Yes I am a woman and I have brothers and male cousins. I would hate and hope the friend you are talking about is not married to one of them.
2007-03-31 12:11:44 · answer #3 · answered by K 2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old flings are exactly that. Old. They died out for a reason. Soon for whatever reason she left this person before she would rediscover why she left him and leave him again. Don't think it's worth the risk involved with uprooting the marriage.....which by the way is not cheap to walk away from. Divorce is expensive and stressful.
2007-03-31 12:03:43 · answer #4 · answered by sweet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You...er, I mean your friend, would be making a huge mistake to get involved with the old lover. She should try to save her marriage. Encourage her to go for counselling. If it doesn't work, she should divorce the husband. Bringing a third party into the marriage will create nothing but headaches.
2007-03-31 12:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by bombastic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her marriage has truely been on the rocks, and they have not tried to work it out or have tried and not succeeded, then there's not much to do. If she stays married, she'll probably go on seeing her old flame anyway. It's better to break off and regroup
2007-03-31 12:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that the grass always looks greener, but when you get over there it ends up smelling like manure. She needs to go to a counselor with her husband and be honest with him and make a real effort at her marriage. She made a commitment in front of God to stay true.
Actually, stay out of it. If you tell her to stay or to go onto her new love and either one goes sour she may blame you. Tell her, with something of this magnitude you need to go see a counselor to help you sort out your feelings. This is something I can't help you with. Then wash your hands of the situation. Good luck.
2007-03-31 12:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by Jamie B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does she think she cannot salvage her marriage anymore? maybe she is falling in love only because things are not going so well in her marriage. she should face her marriage problem, try to sort them out before moving on, otherwise she may get confused in her judgment. there is nothing wrong or right about falling in love, it's uncontrollable anyway, but what you do about it is controllable. i would advise her to sort her marital issues first, and not move out of her marriage just because she's met someone. she may feel very lonely if things turn out wrong with that new person...
2007-03-31 12:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it's wrong and so I'm sure does she.
I would say keep out of it altogether.Tell her it's her decision to make and you are not offering any advice.
That would be my best advice to you.If you get involved,chances are you will end up being drawn into something you don't want to be.Therefore,stay neutral and stay safe.
2007-03-31 12:13:36 · answer #9 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. She is married, she should not be spending enough time with another man to fall in love.
Is it lust? The grass is always greener on the other side.
2007-03-31 12:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very wrong to be messing with someone else while you are sill married. If the marrage is over, move on before looking for someone else. Remind your friend how she might feel if this was done to her!
2007-03-31 12:04:41 · answer #11 · answered by Joy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋