I wanted to know, if I give up my rights to my kids if I have to pay child support?

Question

I am not a deadbeat dad either. I just got tired of their mother saying that I can't see them, because I had a girlfriend. While she could have a boyfriend and have kids with him. I haven't seen my kids in 4 years.

By the way I don't have money for a lawyer. So that isn't the case. In fact I can't really afford anything. I think of my kids everyday, I am saying my life sucks. I am asking people that really know about this subject. If you don't know about this subject don't answer. I can't stand people who judge others when they don't know the whole story.

Answer 1

Termination of parental rights has to be approved by a judge. Generally speaking, they will not approve it--even if Mom agrees--unless it's for the purpose of adoption or the parent is unfit/a danger to the child. Why? It’s not in the best interest of a child to be left fatherless (again, unless the parent is unfit/ a danger).

Men CANNOT terminate their rights to get out of paying child support. If they could, men (and women too) would be lining up to do it, and the welfare system would be overwhelmed with the need for the taxpayers to support these children.

Get court ordered visitation, and if Mom refuses to comply with it, take her back to court.

Answer 2

First, do you have a Judgment that outlines the visitation that you are supposed to be exercising? If so, send a certified letter, return receipt requested to the mother and tell her that you are going to start exercising your visitation on _______________ (whatever date). Then follow through with it. Show up on time with a witness (not a girlfriend). If the mother refuses to allow the children to leave with you, call the police so that a report is made. They are not going to make the kids go with you and you don't want them to cause a big scene and scare them to death. You simply want a report made so there is something on file. If that doesn't make her let the kids leave with you, leave by yourself without any name calling or anything. Just leave.

Then go to the store and get you some paper and a pen, or if you have access to a computer and printer, use that. You need to prepare a petition to the court that you have your Judgment in telling your side of the story. Outline that you were awarded visitation, explain why you haven't seen your kids in 4 years, and then ask the court for help by requesting a hearing so that the mother can come to court and explain why she will not allow you to see your kids. You should also ask the court that you be allowed to start seeing your kids again. You will need an Order attached leaving a blank for a date of a hearing, and you will need to put on there service instructions for the mother so the deputy can find her and give her a copy of the papers. Then show up in court as you are supposed to on the date of the hearing. This is a time to be humble, explain why it was a mistake for you not to see your kids, ask for forgiveness and ask that you be allowed to start seeing them again. That's what all of this is about, seeing your kids, not dogging their mother.

Remember, you don't pay to see your kids, you are paying to help raise them. You have to maintain a relationship with them on your own. If you are serious about this, I am sure that someone at the clerk of court's office will be happy to help you in instructing you on how to prepare your paperwork without needing an attorney. The kids have a right to see their father and you have a right to see them, as long as it's in their best interest.

It sounds like you are trying to be the better parent now by wanting to see them and not letting the mother dictate everything. The mother is going to fight about it, but please remember to keep your mouth shut in front of the kids and other witnesses. (You can call her every name in the book at home by yourself.)

I think the court will understand what has happened and give you a chance to be a good father, especially if you have always paid your child support. Now is the time to show the court and your kids that you want to be a good father. Please don't use the excuse that you don't have the money for a lawyer. You're a big boy and can do this by yourself.

Good luck to you and the kids.

Answer 3

It all depends what she agrees to. If you gave up your rights and allowed her hubby to adopt them, then you would be scott free of the child support and her.

I believe that there really are not that many "dead beat dads" most times the ex makes it such a pain the guy has to give up for the sake of his sanity. The crappy thing is the courts holds up this garbage. The wife gets the kids, gets child support and crabs about the "dead beat dad" all while shacking up and making babies with a new daddy. there aught to be a law.
Most every dad hopes when the children become 18 they can reconnect without the ex interfering.
The lawyers will suck you dry and never get anything turned around.

Answer 4

If the court says you pay child support, you must pay until a court order so changes it. If it involves giving up visitation rights, so be it. She can't stop visitation because of your girlfriend, but she can insist on where visitation occurs. Especially if the girlfriend is a threat to the children's welfare. Visitation may be ordered to be supervised as well. So, if your children mean more to you, then abide by the court or go to court to have amendment made.

Answer 5

I am a woman with a child and am raising this child without any support from their father. Having said that, I sympathise with many dads who go through this situation of not seeing their children, but still having to pay the monetary price. Unfortunately for you, the law says that you are financially responsible for your children up until the age of 18 (sometimes beyond). If I were you, I would try and come to a private agreement with your ex in regard to child support - and stand up for yourself - you too, deserve a life and have a moral right not to be totally paying for the mistakes of the relationship. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I believe giving up the rights to your "kids" is giving your kids to their mother 100%, perhaps so that boyfriend of her's can adopt them, making them a 100% family. You say you're not a "deadbeat dad?" Why haven't you seen them in four years?

Answer 7

Dear Bear,

You do not give the State in which you live, but as a paralegal in Texas, I can tell you that you do not have to be current on your child support in any state to be able to see your children. If you want to get around your ex, simply see your children without your girlfriend. Since she lives with a man and has children with him without benefit of a marriage, she has no right to judge you. As long as you are not exposing your children to dangerous situations, you have every right to take them for visits and enjoy them.

I do suggest that since it has been four years since you have seen them, you should probably just do several short, evening visits before you try out a weekend together....so you can get reacquainted. If you want to see your children, see them. Don't let an ex tell you what you can and cannot do concerning your children. They ARE yours, too.

Lady in Pink has some good ideas that you should consider, but she is off on the supposition that you must be current with your child support to see your children. You do not need to pay to see your children. She is correct that YOU must make the effort to see them. You made the effort to start their lives, you must continue to make an effort to stay in their lives. They need a dad. God chose you to be that dad.... please, get busy. Children are not children forever. They grow up and live their own lives. Don't be on the outside looking in later on ... alone is no fun.

Answer 8

Okay, have you heard of this profession called attorneys. You need a lawyer. There is no excuse for you not to stand up for your rights as a father. I don't care how difficult she makes it, those are your children, too, and they need you.

As for giving up your rights, unless there is someone wanting to adopt your children, I doubt the courts will allow you to do so.

Answer 9

What are you saying? Because your ex is a #$%^^, you're going to let the best part of you slip away? Anything worth having is worth fighting for. What is the custodial arangement with the court? Go back to court, explain the situation and have them straighten her out. IF you're paying on time the courts will enforce visitation, to the point of putting her in jail for obstruction of justice.
Would you be willing to have sole custody? Or are you just venting?

Answer 10

That is your own fault. You can get the court to enforce visitation. You "got tired of their mother saying you can't see them" that is BS! Nothing would come between me and spending time with my children. You are just trying to justify in your mind that you are right.... You ARE a deadbeat..... But I guess in the long run they are better off not seeing you since you are so ingorant about the situation...