My partner and I were having a discussion tonight about me going back to work after our baby is a little bit older, talking about how he wants me to have a career and "get ahead" in life. I told him that while I have no problems going to work and contributing financially to the family, I am not career orientated, and that getting ahead and having a big important job are not priorities in my life and that I see work as something that you only do so that you can live and that it doesn't have to be a pivitol point in your life. He disagrees with this and says that all people see work as being an important part of their lives and that I need to get more career minded.
2007-03-31 04:18:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
Wow. You've managed to be together long enough to have a child together and are only now discovering this kind of disparity in your beliefs?
It's not really a question of who's right or wrong here; there's no right or wrong answer. It's a question of how you two work this out between you. If you're focusing on trying to answer the headline of your question, I think you're missing the big picture.
Clearly you already know the answer to that question. All people can't, by definition, be career-oriented. After all, YOU aren't. And there's nothing, nada, not one little tiny wrong with that. (Don't ever let ANYONE, including this yahoo, tell you that you don't have the right to your own feelings.) It seems to me that, in clear evidence of the contrary, your significant other insists that everyone is career-oriented, by which he means everyone who matters. Consider the implications of that for a moment.
It sounds very much like your partner has been taken in by the feministic myth. That isn't to say that I'm not a feminist. It's just that a lot of people forget the point of feminism was to enable women to CHOOSE whether or not they wanted to pursue career goals or to play a more traditional role. That doesn't automatically mean choosing the traditional role is inherently BAD. And yet, that's exactly how many perceive it.
As for me, I'm very career-oriented. And it's for precisely that reason I tend to prefer dating those who aren't. It's been my experience that dating those who are as focused and driven as I am on a professional level is a disaster for all involved because we end up having more of a relationship with our answering machines than with each other. Who needs that?
Life is much too short to waste it running after things that don't really matter to you. It sounds like you know exactly who you are and what you want. That's a GOOD thing. And while there's certainly a lot of compromise in any relationship, you should never, never, NEVER compromise who you are.
2007-03-31 05:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by ISOintelligentlife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not all people are career oriented. Many feel just as you do that a job is a means to an end, not what and who you are.
Obviously he's not listening to you, since he makes that statement that "all people see work as being an important part of their lives..." just after you told him that YOU don't feel that way. (Consider the underlying message here! He's telling you that you are essentially a nobody or that something is wrong with you because you don't share his opinion.)
If you WANT to have a career and pursue the "gold ring", it's good that he would be supportive of that. However he also needs to respect the fact that everyone does NOT share his opinion. Most importantly he needs to respect YOUR views on this and I get the impression that he doesn't.
Consider this: Nobody ever laid on their deathbed and said, "I should have spent more time at work." Of course, by then, it's too late...
2007-03-31 11:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by Bostonian In MO 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a job you love then yes, it can be a pivitol point in your life, but I feel that a career isn't the highlight of a person's life. I think careers often prevent people from experiencing the pleasures and good things of life, because they are too busy focusing on work. Some people love work and find there pleasure there, which is fine. Others find their happiness and pleasure outside of work and that is fine too. Not everybody is career oreinted.
2007-03-31 11:23:49 · answer #3 · answered by blue_girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess both of you have a different philosophy of life. He sees work as something that is crucial in term of social status, something that represent his self image. You on the other hand, believe that job is just a tool to support family and make a living. None of you are wrong. It's just that both of you have a different view in life.
One question, I notice you call him as "my partner" in this question and other questions of yours. I don't mean any disrespect by the way, but how comes you don't call him your fiance or husband?
Please response back to me through my e-mail on my profile, if you don't want to display your answer in public view.
I wish both of you to have a wonderful life together throughout your lifetime!
If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask me. I will answer your questions honestly as I think they're fitted And I will response back to you as soon as I can!
I am your friend!
2007-03-31 19:23:48 · answer #4 · answered by Infinite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not all people live to work...there are many who work to live life to the fullest...time with family and friends, excursions, the making of memories...trust me, you get to my age and if you haven't made those memories, you dearly regret it.
2007-03-31 11:22:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋