So we swing every once and a while and we love it ,it's always together and never pursue things on a one on one ,as in going out with someone alone or on private dates. There is a couple that we hooked up with and they seem to want to always find ways to get us off alone instead of as a group or near eachother. Maybe they arnt really secure with this lifestyle or what? should we discontinue an open relationship with them ( they are so hot and fun ) however we dont condone the single mingle ya know? What would you do?
2007-03-31 04:01:49 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would let them know for the last time that we do not do singles......we're a swinging couple....and if they can not get it thro there heads i would break the ties off and find another couple that is into the same
I'm thinking that this is what you need to do!
Good luck and have lots od fun!
2007-03-31 04:06:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I love reading the condemnation from some. It is truly amusing. People with little closed minds, who are afraid to try something, or who's religion tells them not to so they condemn you.
As swingers you know you need to establish ground rules. If your rule is to swing as a couple, then you need to make that very clear to any potential "playmates."
I would ask them in a very direct manner, state you notice they seem to want more privacy, 1 on 1, and you want a couple together. Discuss it with this couple directly. Find out what they are after, and then compare what you want.
it may be possible that you can find some sort of medium... maybe they are worried about jealousy, or afraid to compare... or maybe if all 4 of you are together, they get too excited... or maybe the guy is more straight, not interested in anything but the women... There are lots of reasons why they may want 1 on 1 instead of group fun, ask them. let them know your rules, and then discuss it.
If it is still an issue, then they have broken your rules and you don't play with them anymore.
2007-03-31 04:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by Adorabilly 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Stay away from them! Obviously you have a feeling that they aren't secure with their lifestyle, listen to your gut. There are plenty of couples in the swinging lifestyle who have serious issues. I'd ditch them before their problems start seeping into your marriage. Trust me on this one, we've been swinging for a couple of years and have learned to spot troubled couples and avoid them like the plague.
2007-04-01 23:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by K M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the thought of watching my husband boinking another woman in front of me would be a bit more than I could deal with. Why are you two tied by the binds of marriage if this is the lifestyle you enjoy? Hope you both have a good lawyer lined up. I don't recall any mention of the word "groups" in MY marriage vows. Let me get this straight, it bothers you to be alone, but everyone in a tangled heep is ok? Jeez people.
2007-03-31 09:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by winddancer 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The question being what would I do? I have no interest in the swinging life, so I don't have to decide.
But you have answered your own question. If you and your wife don't go in for private dates, then tell this couple that, that your 2 styles of swinging don't mesh and that is that. If you can swing with these people, you sure should be able to talk to them honestly.
2007-03-31 04:27:24 · answer #5 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well we are the same here we swing together.most couples do it that way.some do swing alone if thats what they like to do.part of swinging to us is to see our partner enjoying themselfs.we do like to watch eachother with another partner in the same room.sometimes me with a woman sometimes her with a man.we also enjoy 3 sums with both men and women.its up to each couple what they like and its not for anyone to say its wrong or right.sometimes stepping over your limits can cause hard feelings .so have your own set of rules and never break them if possible.enjoy the lifestyle we sure do. adds spice to the relationship :) also the learning that is done can really liven up your alone time.we have both learned what really pleases the other and found new ways for pleasure.our sex life is unreal now that we have both learned to really let go with others. good luck
2007-03-31 04:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by bob w 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
maybe she not feeling the same way as you so what you have to do is got a different swinging partner that is there for you and down for what ever .
2007-03-31 04:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by CHANEL S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like they want it more private than it is, couples that swing if not totally open and honest with one another will end up divorced,, talk to your wife, see if she wants to do the single thing then meet back at home,
2007-03-31 04:06:37 · answer #8 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Although I don't agree with swinging....I would say to talk to them...let them know that you are not into one on one and only practice this on a "couple" level. See how they respond and decide from there.
2007-03-31 04:08:09 · answer #9 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
As a swinging open couple, you should be able to discuss your concerns with them. If you can't talk about it, you're not mature enough to be doing it.
2007-03-31 04:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋