I am 31 been married a 2x, and have kids. I have always been attracted to women, but since I grew up in a small town it was not acceptable to be a lesbian. I have never slept with a woman, but am extremely attracted to women, not men. Now I am being told I am not a lesbian until I sleep with a woman. I know who I am attracted to, so why should sex be the deciding factor.
2007-03-31 03:06:44 · 21 answers · asked by nttz 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am 31 been married a 2x, and have kids. Right now I am not married, but even during my marriages, I knew I was attracted to women. I have always been attracted to women, but since I grew up in a small town it was not acceptable to be a lesbian. I have never slept with a woman, but am extremely attracted to women, not men. Now I am being told I am not a lesbian until I sleep with a woman. I know who I am attracted to, so why should sex be the deciding factor.
2007-03-31 03:39:44 · update #1
NO. It's what's inside that counts. Does that mean that all virgins are lacking in orientation? I think not. I knew I was and I identified as a lesbian when I was 13; I had the feelings and attractions of lesbianism as far back as 7. Just because someone is a virgin to it doesn't mean that their orientation is in question. You're a lesbian no matter what anyone else says. Welcome to the team *hugs* = )
2007-03-31 03:09:32 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u dont have 2 sleep with a female to be a lesbian, being gay isn't only about sex, its about love; and if youre in love with a women than your a lesbian.
Sorry to hear that you've started a life with someone you'd rather be friends with. Does your husband know? Just because you have kids doesn't mean its too late to make yourself happy. You can find a woman you love and be with her. Dont worry about your kids, as long as u get them to understand that its okay to be homosexual, they wont have a problem with it. If you decide to do this, just make sure ur husband is around for the kids.
2007-03-31 03:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in the EXACT situation that my partner had!! She was married with 2 kids and knew she was a lesbian as well. No one believed that she was since she had been with men and had kids. Her story is to long for me to put on here but it sounds identical!
But the answer to your question is simple. No, sex has nothing to do with "knowing". Does a straight person HAVE to have sex with the opposite sex to know they are straight? Why does it always have to be separate rules for the gay/lesbian community?
2007-03-31 04:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoever told you that you cannot be a lesbian unless you slept with a woman is misinformed.
A straight person who hasn't slept with someone of the opposite sex is still considered straight. The same goes for the LGBT people.
2007-03-31 05:19:29 · answer #4 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can definitely be a lesbian without ever having sex.
To say that you have to have sex with someone goes back to the same old argument that being homosexual is only about the 'sexual' part of the word. It is SO not. Being gay is not about the actions you take, but about part of who you are on the inside. It's not entirely who you are, but it's an important brick in your foundation.
I wouldn't listen to a word otherwise about it. You know who you are, and that's all that matters!
Best of luck to you! (and good question)
2007-03-31 04:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by Shawn_Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. Being a lesbian is something that's a core part of a person, something that has nothing to do with sex. You can be a lesbian and never have sex with another woman. It's part of your identity, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
2007-03-31 03:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by Zarathustra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be like saying someone isn't hetrosexual until they have had sex.
You are a woman who is attracted to women. Of course your a lesbian.
Your life is the reason why supressing homosexuality is wrong. People should never marry the wrong gender just because society tells them who to marry.
2007-04-02 17:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by quizzical 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think thats true at all... i dont think that our sexuality should be defined by such fundamental things. most lesbians i know love sex with men too cuz they love penetration, that doesn't mean you'll find them running around fooling with guys... its just a HUGE spectrum and people have a hard time realizing that things aren't black and white. If you have attraction for women, i'd tell you to try it out and see what happens..but if you feel strongly that you are a lesbian, then you are. life is about finding who you are and who you are happy identifying with. if you are happy identifying as a lesbian, then i'd stick to that. Life is too short to be unhappy :o)
good luck!
2007-04-02 04:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u dont have to have sex with a woman to know that u are lesbian if u know that they are attracted to them then u are a lesbian no matter what anyone else says to u. iv been lesbain since i waz like 9 and i never slept with a female till i waz 15 so go head it ok
2007-04-02 07:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by Allison S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not true. Sex is not the deciding factor your feelings are. A hetero knows they are straight b4 they lose their virginity so the same applies to your situation.
You already know ur feelings and have known them for many years don't let other people tell you what you are.
2007-03-31 03:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by Broken hearted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋