How to abducted by aleins?

Question

How to abducted by aleins?

Answer 1

Dear John:

If you are serious about wanting to be abducted by aliens, I
suggest that you do the following:

1.) Purify your body by eating only leafy green vegetables.
2.) Never eat meat.
3.) Reduce the amount of salt you eat. Use salt substitutes if you desire more flavor in your food.
4.) Paint a large red and white bulls eye target in the center of the roof of your house. Use that expensive reflective paint to do this. Aliens like to see red and white colors, and for some unknown reason they understand the meaning of a bulls eye target. Your particular target must be about 30 to 40 feet in diameter for it to be seen at any great altitude. Do not make it any smaller.
5.) Get in the habit of wearing reflective patches on your clothing so that you may be easily seen at night. That way, the aliens will see you before they see anyone else.
6.) Install a radio beacon inside your house that transmits a welcome message to the Aliens in Universal Morse Code. The Universal Morse Code was developed to cut through all the various language barriers and yield a language that everyone can understand. So by using that code, you won't have to worry about not being able to speak in the Alien language.
7.) Personal Equipment.
You must always carry on your person a good digital camera with spare batteries packed in water proof plastic bags. You will need this to take pictures of your captors when they visit you.
You must also carry a fully charged cell phone with at least 100 minutes of available air time to call friends from the space ship.
Supplies for survival are a certain necessity. Always carry 5 gallons of water and sealed, freeze dried food packages and hard candy packs for at least 10 days of travel. This might seem like a big load to carry around, but you will need every bit of it. All previous abductions have lasted 10 days at least, and the aliens did not offer their captives anything to eat. Place at least ten condoms in your pack so that you are prepared for possible sedual encounters with female aliens.
If you plan to be abducted with your girl friend she should carry a one month supply of birth control pills at all times. You will also need to carry at least three rolls of toilet paper because aliens do not install toilet paper in their rest rooms. A small first aid kit will also be helpful incase you are somehow injured during the abduction. Last but not least is the necessity to carry at least a dozen light sticks in case you are placed into a dark confinement cell for a long period of time, or need to signal the aliens from a distance.

Hope this information helps,
Regards,
Zah

Answer 2

Well I don't want to be responsible for what they do to you.
Get a good quality chastity belt,make sure the key is not available to any alien.
beyond that don't worry you are very ugly to them.
If they think you have detected them they will abduct you.
They disguise themselves as many things,meat balls fire hydrants,rose bushes and big dogs.
If you kick them they will abduct you.
I have given you the clue so good luck,and throw away the key.

Answer 3

Move to Rosswell in USA or area 51...and then do a rain dance at exactly 12.01 am!!!!Do it for 1 min and the alien will come...to be specific on what alien u want to be abducted by think of how they look like when youa re dancing the rain dance!

Answer 4

well, u have to be smart about it... find a common trait that all the abducted have, and try to work on it...

for example, most of those that have been abducted were hillbillys from down South... so what u gotta do, is to move down there, dress up in farm clothes, do stuff with ur farm animals, and act like ur retarded, impregnate ur cuzzins... and im sure that will do the trick...

:)

Answer 5

People who believe in alien abductions are absolutely ridiculous. We've been studying the universe for hundreds of years. Our satellites and instruments would've detected life coming into our atmosphere.

Answer 6

Do you mean to ask "how to be abducted by aliens?"

If so, you first need aliens from another planet to be here on Earth, and since there are none, you are losing your time.

Answer 7

go off your medication! Not only will you perceive many more aliens, but some of them may abduct and probe you.

Answer 8

Go to a REAL tall building and jump off. They will catch you.

Answer 9

Put an ad in your local paper . An Alien will get back to you with instructions .................... trust me on this one .

Answer 10

Move to the US. that's where all the stories come from anyway