I keep picking a**holes since my divorce...scratch that...since I started dating. Is it possible to change what type of man you attract? I thought being celibate would help attract a different type of man.... IT'S NOT WORKING! Help!!!
2007-03-30 19:01:01 · 12 answers · asked by CottonTail 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont troll for guys in clubs or on the internet. I dont think I know were to actively go to meet men.. Ive been celibate for 3 years in July
2007-03-30 19:08:48 · update #1
Examine where you meet these guys, and maybe change your hang out places. If you are meeting them in night clubs, change to the bowling alley or something like that.
2007-03-30 19:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how long you have been divorced. Changing a person does not work for either sex. Being celibate is, I think, a great way to keep from being a pushover and ending up with another ******. Unless it has been years and years since your divorce, I wouldn't be in too big a hurry and give yourself time to "remember " who you are singly and not as half of what you once were.You know you've picked some bad ones and that's a great start. Love is alive and well and it will find you when you least expect it.
2007-03-30 19:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by Ret. Sgt. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy i would say it all depends on the location to which you are picking these men. When you do meet one try going to a local dinner and meet with him there in the open, if he suggest a different town then by all means leave him alone,if a guy is a butt head and he has treated other women badly than the last place he would want to be is in a public place for fear he will run into an ex and she will make a scene.You also want to meet in a public place for safety reasons as well.Also play very hard to get, personify your self as not just another female but as a strong confindent woman, a woman who knows what she wants and what she expects, body langue is very important so when you walk never lean foward. Hold your back stright and you head lifted up and not looking down at your feet.Leaning foward and looking at your feet when you walk can be preceived as overly submissive and weak.Men who are looking for an easy woman look for the ones leaning foward and looking down at your feet,but by changing your postiure and walking with your back stright and head held high you are sending out a messege that states that you are not to be trifeled with and you are not the woman to play petty games with. and the men will see that and respond to that. Then you will attract the type of man you are looking for
2007-03-30 19:20:17 · answer #3 · answered by Robert A 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ooooooh I hear ya there. I swore that when my marriage ended that I had unknowingly had an "idiot magnet" installed.
In the end I took a close look at the "pattern" of my choices and realized that there were reasons why I chose to see who I did. It all came down to the self esteem factor...I was picking losers because I basically didn't feel I deserved better. Losers send up HUGE red flags that we tend to ignore...hence the pattern. I took a look inside, worked on myself and now life is good. I'm with a man I didn't think exsisted....a good one. They are out there....take a long hard look at your choices and ask yourself some serious questions. Why did I put up with lousy treatment after the first time it showed up? When I thought "that was an odd thing for him to say"...why didn't I end it there?
Give yourself some "me time" and forget dating for a while....get back in touch with what you want and need out of a man and then go back in the game. You might just notice a difference and be much happier for it.
Much luck....it sure ain't easy!! :)
2007-03-30 19:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your picker is not broken. Just be patient and wait for the right man to come along. It's better to know right away than after you get remarried, try looking at it that way.
2007-03-30 19:09:53 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the grocery store, try best buy or Sam's club. If worst comes to worst, there is a guy you know all Ladies have that nice guy that would do anything for you. But you do not want him he is to easy, check him out he will do anything to be with you.
2007-03-30 19:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by rjsr40 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
perhaps it isn't the men you attract but the men you are attracted to.
I am sure you attract many different types of men but you choose the wrong ones.
Change your criteria on importance and you will probably have better luck.
2007-03-30 19:10:25 · answer #7 · answered by simplyme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you least expect it , and more than likely whom you least expect it to be...will sweep you off your feet...your doing the right thing and your patience will be reward eventually....I am dating someone who had waited more than twice your time and we are in love in the most incredible way...the most impressive thing she has said to me is I was worth the wait.
2007-03-30 19:23:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is quite possible, I think every now and then all of our pickers get broken, if only I knew how to fix it.....
2007-03-30 19:04:28 · answer #9 · answered by alexandria1_1999 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be patient and wait for the right guy to come along.
2007-03-31 00:20:00 · answer #10 · answered by jasmine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋