Frustrates me . . . People woo each other, date, fall in love, marry. . . then (not always, but often) complain and make ' jokes ' about marriage being ' hell ' etc. and remain married to that person that they complain about.
I was married for 23 yrs, now peacefully divorced 4 yrs. I support the idea and thought of marriage. Yet, if it's not good anymore, you've done all you can to ' fix ' the marriage and still unhappy...then why not divorce and move on to find peace in your life again ? I don't understand why married people ' joke ' that their spouse is ' terrible ' etc., or that their marriage is ' hell ' as I just read another expressed on this site. The question was " What is ' hell ' ". . . Someone replied " Being married ".
I really don't understand why ones who supposedly love each other say hurtful things of each other and their marriage...even in the guise of a ' joke '.
I really don't understand this. Any insight to understand this ?
.
2007-03-30 18:53:00 · 14 answers · asked by onelight 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Insightful to read answers. Yet . . . " P2AC2 " . . . you words used of "fukc " and " dum dum "... Mind yourself and be nice or I'll have to pull your plug...R2D2 . . .
2007-03-30 19:28:29 · update #1
The problem with marriages we don't have any real way to learn how to choose the right mate. You spent 23 years with this man so one can say you two very much grew up together in adulthood. People do grow apart has they start to discover their real self. It is fine to seek divorce when you find your lives are going in totally different directions.
Sometime you get the best life from a burning bridge.
2007-03-30 19:00:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of it is in fun but your right some people can be mean and hateful toward the one they use to love.I'm with you get out if your that unhappy.The only thing is usually it's the men that are unhappy with the marriage and the wife is at home taking care of their kids and everything else and he is out with another woman having the time of his life mean while the wife is home like I said no clue what so ever thinking everything is fine. What then is it fair to the one who hasn't a clue to what's been going on behind her back.And the kids do you leave because you think your in love with this other person or do you do the right thing for the sake of your kids. so you see it isn't that simple.You go your happy for a little while anyway until you realize what a horror-able mistake you have made or do you stay for the kids and be miserable and talk about it to everyone who will listen.
2007-03-30 19:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never understood it myself......but I think it may have something to do with the astounding 50% divorce rate north america holds. Marriage councelors often cite the fact that once sarcastic comments enter the marriage that it's pretty much doomed. The subtle or not so subtle put downs speak volumes of the partner's unhappiness. Any relationship is a labor of love and takes emotional "elbow" grease to keep it fresh, keep it real and keep it loving. Complaints and bitching is damaging. Instead of riding the relationship of resentment by talking and working it out, I think some opt to roll with the anger.
They aren't only disrespecting each other....they're tearing down their partners self esteem along with their own. Some of these people need to walk a mile in my mother's shoes. My father died 8 years ago.....and she'd give her right arm to have him back here again and proudly declare him as her husband......without a complaint in sight!!
2007-03-30 19:01:55 · answer #3 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because marriage is an unnatural man-made religious institution locking people into unrealistic promises and conditions....which in the USA has become serious law and leads to serious legal entanglements..If people were in relationships where they could leave or abandon the situation whenever they pleased the bond would have to be much stronger, positive, meaningful and full-filling etc. for them to stay which means that both partners would have to work harder, accommodate each other, have mutual respect etc. or admit personal failure....and love would always remain supremely important
Trying to do these things when you have fallen out of love is hopeless..
The reason many miserable people stay together is that loneliness is hell and we are creatures of habit..even bad habits....not to mention the question of children.
2007-03-30 19:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
isn't this the question to ask!!
hmmmm why indeed... I will tell you that people are hopelessly plugged into a system they have little for no idea about and so like lemmings they follow each other because it is what everyone else is doing has done or will do... but there are those who have wonderful marriages.
Many times have I seen people making decisions that restrict their movement before they have come to understand the movement they are in the process of disabling.
2007-04-01 00:28:23 · answer #5 · answered by James 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no,i'm unhappily married 4 13 yrs. when I was little I noticed that partners take eachother 4 granted. now, he fuss @ me all the time,he is no fun. I put on a good face,n still care 4 him 2 show our kids. without him,i wouldn't be a mommy and i believe he makes me a better mommy n i make him a better daddy. Shame he doesn't appreciate me.
2007-03-30 19:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people simply enjoy making their lives and their spouses living hell!!! That's the only explanation I can come up with.
2007-03-30 19:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good to have a sense of humor and not take everything tooo seriously. There are a lot of funny things about marriage.
2007-03-30 19:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people who stay married that are unhappy stay married because they cant afford to get divorced and live on there own, it's marriage of convenience....
2007-03-30 19:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by korn_chk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know i've always wondered about that myself. i have only been married for 8 years but i have never once said anything hurtful about my hubby and like wise for him but i know people that do. i don't understand it tho maybe for all those people that do it's like a can't live with them can't live without them kind of thing. :)
2007-03-30 18:59:16 · answer #10 · answered by me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋