I feel like my cheating wife has me by my balls and I'm ready to do something bad?

Question

She left me after a 17 year marriage fot her coworker 5 months ago. We share our kids every other week. Well It was my week to take them and it was there spring break so I went to my familys. She calls them every night when they are with me. On our way back I stopped and took them rollerskating and she did'nt get to talk to them thaty night. Well she called the sheriff and wants me to be her fuc*ing puppit every time I hav our two kids. She cheated on me and left the family and she had the gambling addiction which bankrupted us and now she is making my life hell. I swear she keeps it up i dont know

She is my EX wife now

Answer 1

Uhmmm Scott, have you read all the wording in your visitation/custody order?

You didn't specify how your order read, but most states recognize a parent's right to have visitation without constant intrusions from the other parent. She may have contact, but not at the expense of your quality time.

The cops cannot get involved as it is a civil matter. I highly recommend you keep a copy of your decree in your vehicle. So unless she can prove kidnapping, she is pissing up a rope calling the cops.

Obviously some things went in your favor as far as joint custody or you wouldn't get them every other week. Having said that, it is time you inform your ex that she does not and WILL NOT dictate your every move. I am sure the judge took her adultery into consideration even if it was in a no fault state. So she is looking a little worse in the eyes of a judge, not you. Throw in a gambling addiction and she is on a slippery slope. So enough of the emotional blackmail. She has your number, she knows where your buttons are. Take back your power and quit letting her use it.

Now as far as "I swear she keeps it upI don't know" comment. Just what exactly do you think you can do? You kill her, you leave your kids without both parents. That's pretty stupid. You pretty much ruin what is left of your life. Your kids will have a hard time of it. So let's just say that is out.

Here is what a SMART person does. Start a journal, write everything down. Keep a caller ID on your phone....make a log of date, time and number from which she called. You can get a record of those calls from the phone company if you needed to. Keep a tape recorder handy. She starts, you tape. NO it's NOT illegal. She calls the cops again, make sure the officer takes your side of the report and TAPE him/her during interview/questioning. They don't have to know either. It does preclude a whole lot of lying on the witness stand. If she keeps it up, have your attorney file an OSC (order to show cause)...let her explain her antics to a judge. Keep a good journal for a month or so to build up a case for cause. Journals, tapes, records are some of the BEST evidence you can provide a judge with. It shows you were judicious in documenting facts and also you were not exascerbating the situation by continuing the hostility. You get kudos in court for being mature and judicious. She will not get kudos in court for being bitchy.

Don't get mad, get even, but do it legally. Kill her with kindness even if you have to bite your tongue in half. Same thing when cops show up, kill them with surprise, kindness and low keyed talk. NO hostility or swearing. They will eventually start to feel sorry for you. AND quit responding to her calls. She can be charged with filing false reports.

Going to have to put that mess behind you and start thinking rationally. Be the bigger person no matter how much you seethe inside.

Another thing you can do...go down to the sheriff's office and VERY NICELY tell them you are "anticipating" these problems from your ex. Be the victim first. Set the stage. Tell them "I just don't know what to do"..."what can I do officer"? Trust me, they will tell you it is a civil matter and there is NOTHING they can do. Technically there isn't. But you have already informed them in a NICE way, a professional way what she is up to. Now who do you think they will listen to first? Well unless her dad is THE sheriff.

Act in haste, regret in leisure. Not worth it Scott.

Take care and remember, this too WILL heal...it just takes time.

Answer 2

Why is it when the person that caused the brake up is all ways the person that has the upper hand.Male or female wrong is wrong,her calling every night when you have your kids is that in the visitation papers? Could it be that guy, that s hit head
she is with is putting all this in her head or has she always been a b itch.I'm sorry for what she has put you through it really isn't fair.I'm sure you were no prefect husband but no one deserves to be cheated on.I no what it feels like my husband cheated on me and left me on top of it .He did come back after 21/2 years but when he walked out my inner self left with him. It will never be the same for us and it 's been 10 years.I hope everything works out for you and your kids.R emember what goes around comes around and she will get hers you don't need to do anything to her.She will pay the price for what she has done.

Answer 3

I'm sorry you are going through all that....I had to go to court just to get set times for phone calls cause my X was staying on the phone with the kids asking what I was doing all night long..what was I cooking,where was I going.....who was visiting...the courts made him provide the kids with a cell phone and a set 7:00 calling time with a limit..you might need to go to court some more.

Answer 4

I went threw something like that and it is very hard. If you both have custody of the kids then you shouldn't have a problem. It's your right as a dad to spend time with your kids without her butting in all the time. A call at night to say goodnight is fine but have the kids call her instead of her calling. What she is trying to do is still run your life. But you gotta make her STOP!!!

Good luck and just keep your kids first....

Answer 5

that sucks but you can't just fly off the handle, it will just make things worse. Have you seen a lawyer? Surely you can have the kids for a weekend with out her calling everynight. I guess if they are under 10 they might really want to hear from her before bedtime. She definitely went overboard, keep a diary about it, you might need it in court if things ever get to that stage. Just try to chill, I know it is tough, but think of your kids and how good of a parent you are, good luck.

Answer 6

Remember your kids are going through all this with you and have been from the beginning. Always keep them in mind first. What would happen to them if they didnt have you etc.

Change your phone number and have it unlisted. If your kids are old enough for one or both to have one of the kids cell phones you could get them one and put your number in one of the buttons and then lock the cell so she cant change anything. I think Cingular has one called Firefly. Verizon does have one but I cant remember the name of it..

Hope everything works out for you.

Answer 7

wow is she a witch!!! call your lawyer, she is still trying to control you every move as much as she can, you are the parent, she wouldn't have those kids if not for you--she is harrasing you, do not stand for this, i am so glad you are out of it and i am a woman, but i hate how bitchy females have become, see your attorney!find a sweet lovely girl to make her ticked off-- lol--
your kids must be teens right? if so, soon they'll be 18 and free of her. think of the future btw- change your phone number! but keep your cool, for your own sake.

Answer 8

Take her to court get a lawyer so that any time she flips out you have someone to report it to ...you have rights to your children so make sure you keep them and she is not worth you going to prison or worth you not spending time with your children ....do it the right way....use the system to help you an your relationship with your children........forget the fact she cheated she is old news ...it's about you and the little people in your life

Answer 9

change ur phone message when ur out w/ the little lambs and say you moved out of state then have the little ones call when u return from what ur doing
call child endangerment on her every other week as ? dont leave ur name file for 50-50 custudy if you cant get 100%
sorry i feel 4 ya

Answer 10

record everything you do with her, both by journal, date, time and voice record all conversation with her. prove to the judge she got the gambling addiction and show hard facts to the judge that your ex is a low life bum. You will get full custody and move on.