If you can pick a percentage, what woul it be? (Only for married couples)
2007-03-30 16:52:23 · 16 answers · asked by nath2g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good sex won't make a marriage work; bad sex will sure wreck one.
I give it 50%
2007-03-30 16:58:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you've gotten my wife's perspective and now you will get mine.
Sex is one of many components to a happy marriage, just like intimacy, mutual respect, sacrifice, compromise and hard work are important parts of marriage. It is part of a total package that makes the whole marital experience so wonderful.
You will very rarely find two partners that have the exact same priorities, but it is important that you identify and respect those priorities. Here is one important piece of advice: you should seek to fulfill the needs of the partner that has the higher desire for sex. The spouse will the lower sex drive will almost certainly learn to enjoy it more and the spouse with the higher drive will be fulfilled. The fulfillment will naturally spill over into the other areas of the marriage.
Early in our marriage, my wife and I attended one of those Christian "marriage encounters". The speaker talked about the differences in how spouses communicate...their "love languages". Like most men, I am more into physical affection...hugs, kisses, and yes, sex. My wife prefers other actions as shows of love...taking the trash out without being asked, love notes, words of affirmation, stuff like that. Now more so than ever, we have learned to communicate in the way that the other wants to RECEIVE our love, not the way that we want to GIVE it. If you can find that, you have something very special indeed.
Here's another way to look at it. I like pizza. I like spending time alone with my wife, including sex. I like watching movies together. She likes intimate conversation, candle light dinners, feeling secure and hearing how much I love her. Individually, everything you just read is nice. String them together and you have a wonderful evening...a lot more than just "nice".
So there you have it...everybody is different. Part of the joy of marriage is learning those things about your partner, respect those desires and fulfilling each others needs.
By the way, Dr. Laura’s book called The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage is a must read for all couples.
2007-03-31 12:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by Carl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All relationships, including yours, have many different dimensions. You can think about it at an intellectual level, an emotional level, and sex is certainly one of the dimensions.
People have often said, "If you have a good sexual relationship, it's about 10 percent. If you don't, it's about 90 percent." That's true because, if there's a problem sexually in a relationship, somebody is likely feeling rejected and hurt.
This involves both your partner and you. Both of you need to be able to express what it is you want and why you want it. You can't read each other's mind. For some reason, in America, we get embarrassed when we talk about sex. It's like we have to dig our toe in the carpet, blush, get all red and worried about talking. But the truth, is communicating is very important even if you have to do it in writing. Talk about what you want and what you need.
2007-03-31 00:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by ardie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say about 35-40%. I think the intimacy, not sexual intimacy but intimacy itself, the cuddling, and holding each other, and talking, is more important than sex. But I do believe that sex is important to a marriage, because it can bring a husband and wife closer in their relationship.
It's really sad though, that our society puts such a high importance on sex these days instead of developing the relationship and getting to know each other as people.
2007-03-31 00:15:39 · answer #4 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you mean the "importance" of sex in a relationship, I would say that for a woman it is about 30% to 40% and for a man it is 60% to 70%...I'm a woman. I think that it is much more important to have a good emotional basis, a trusting relationship, stability, honesty, etc., than just to have sex. Of course, woman tend to connect emotionally and men tend to connect physically in a relationship.
2007-03-31 00:02:49 · answer #5 · answered by missapparition 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
10 points for William in my book. If sex and physical intimacy is how you or your spouse feel love, than it's definitely at 90% or more. The great part I've found is the incredible link between sex/physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. If one is given, the other soon follows,
2007-03-31 00:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "william's" answer, without intimacy sex is just sex. A lot of people accept sex just for the pleasure they derive from it. I feel it it more pleasurable to have a sexual experience that involves love, tenderness and closeness, there is nothing that can replace that.
2007-03-31 00:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the beginning its 100 percent important, but after a few years it is only about 50%. Friendship and loyalty and humor are more important.
2007-03-31 00:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Abe & Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
90%. Sex is more than the deed. It's the intimacy, cuddling, snuggling, little pat's, that smile. If the deed is deprived and the other misses it, all the others begin to collapse.
2007-03-30 23:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by WILLIAM W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After two years, sex is zero. Forget it, the shine had worn off. Make hay while the sun shines, for two years. Then move on.
2007-03-31 00:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by robb7thurston 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋