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A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!

She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"

The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
or
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.

Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.

The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where?"

2007-03-30 16:05:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Other - Cultures & Groups

nice one mojojojo

2007-03-30 16:29:00 · update #1

or
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

2007-03-30 18:11:26 · update #2

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

2007-03-30 18:13:13 · update #3

A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
sorry this one is short

2007-03-30 18:14:57 · update #4

There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.

So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.

Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.

The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.

"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.

Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.

She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.

She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"

The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."
or

2007-03-30 18:17:11 · update #5

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".

2007-03-30 18:17:47 · update #6

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"

2007-03-30 18:18:49 · update #7

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

Blonde: No, it's working fine.

Operator: Then what's the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

2007-03-30 18:20:11 · update #8

7 answers

YOU RACIST YOU RACIST, THATS IT IM REPORTING YOU TO THE HIGHEST AUTHORITY. Just kidding.. pretty funny. I have never heard the bird joke before.

2007-03-30 16:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by JUDAS RAGE 4 · 1 0

A brunette goes to the doctor, the doctor says what's wrong, the brunette says everywhere I touch on my body hurts what do I do doc, the doctor looks at the brunette for a little while and then he says did you recently dye your hair brunette, the brunette says yes I'm a natural blonde why, the doctor takes the Blondes hand looks at it and says your finger is jammed, that's why it hurts everywhere you touch.

2007-03-30 16:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by mojobelaski3 2 · 1 0

Saw in the paper where 3 blondes drowned last week during spring break.Said they were in the back of a pickup truck that rolled into a lake.They drowned when they could not open the tail gate.
That's all I have to say about that.

2007-03-30 16:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by blakree 7 · 3 0

Question: What do you call a smart blonde?


Answer: A Golden Retriever.

2007-03-30 17:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by AyeVivi 2 · 0 0

if you have blonde hair it will naturally get bleached by the particular sun in the summer. There had been this guy in my class who also had golden blonde hair that has been a medium brown near the bottom part. When he came back to school after summer vacation, it was practically platinum blonde!

2017-02-26 00:41:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

Jet black hair. I have actually dark brown hair and I think dark hair looks better. I don't really like blonde hair.

2017-01-28 16:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

I think you mean "they're funny," contraction for "they are," not "there funny." "There" is a location, as in not here, but there.
Yes, the jokes are funny, just a little.

2007-03-30 16:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by supertop 7 · 0 0

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