There's a guy at work who is interested in me, but I am not interested in him. He's asked if I want to go get a beer after work or see a movie or whatever. He does it in a friendly non-chalant way that if I blatantly said I didn't want to date him he could say "i was just asking as a freind." So I always come up with an excuse saying I'm busy with friend or whatever. The guy is pretty fun to talk to and whatnot, but I'm just not attracted to him and don't think I ever could be.So my question is: is there anyway to hangout with him outside work as just freinds without him thinking it could be somthing more-knowing it is just as freinds? Or do I just keep avoiding hanging out with him?
2007-03-30 15:59:17 · 18 answers · asked by sofun 4 in Dining Out ➔ Fast Food
under fast food by accident-don't know how to remove it.
2007-03-31 14:11:25 · update #1
Wait until it is more than just you. A group outing.
2007-03-30 16:04:30 · answer #1 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Probably not. I've been in this situation twice. The first time, despite my saying "friends only" the guy got all weird after the non-date and started acting like a jilted boyfriend when I started dating someone else. The second time, I went on several non-dates with a guy friend from work who knew I was with someone else. But being friends with the opposite sex is tricky business. Someone always falls, even if friendship is the original intent. We ended up becoming so close that we confided in eachother about stuff we shouldn't have, then it got to the point where he couldn't stay my friend if I stayed with who I was with because he cared too much about me. (aka. if he couldn't have me it was too painful to stay just friends).
2007-03-30 23:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by Rio 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
from my experience best thing i can do is to not go out with him alone because in the end, if he really likes you, it goes to "i thought you liked me, i wanna be more than friends, we have a good time don't we?".. even if you are able to make it clear i want to be only friends minimal contact out side of work is the best way to go since most guys cant take no for an answer and act brand new when you have been out a few times and then they make a move and u say i just wanna be friends.. plus you work together and the tension at work if something goes wrong... DRAMA
2007-03-31 02:36:11 · answer #3 · answered by babie_blu83 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well to start off it's not like this guy is hitting on you. He's asking you to hang out. What happens when the two of you go out is up to you. If you are up front with the fact that your not interested in him romantically maybe he will be fine with that or maybe he'll be disappointed, but it's better to let him know and be honest. Maybe you'll become good friends, it is possible.
2007-04-03 17:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by Arte Salon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you'd like to buy him a drink after work.Tell him that you want to talk to him away from the office.Once there explain simply that you would like to see him from time to time as just friends after work.And that you are mainly interested in just a friendship with him.That you would value his friendship and like to hang out once in a while.And all outings would be you pay for you and he pays for him.He seems like a nice person and he'd be a great guy to have as a friend.This way everything is out in the open and it is up to him.
2007-03-31 22:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh heck, go out with him once. I once fell MADLY in love with a guy that I had no sense of physical attraction for at first, and in fact almost repulsion. But I went out with him once, and he was kind, and charming and intelligent....and so I went out with him again. And then again. And soon, due to emotional and intellectual attraction, the physical soon followed. No we didn't get married, it only lasted 4 months (hey that s a different story.) But I did learn a very huge lesson. Looks don't matter as much as I thought, and physical attraction can follow a psychological one.
What's one date anyway?
2007-03-30 23:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't avoid him because that would be a very immature way of handling the problem, just tell him this is not a date and if he still doesn't think of it that way then go as a group outing because if you go out as a group then he couldn't think of it as a date because it's just not you 2.
2007-03-30 23:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would state clearly(in a nice way) that all YOU have in mind is friendship. Who knows maybe thats all he wants. And sense you were clear in the beginning, it shouldn't make it weird at work.
2007-03-31 22:28:03 · answer #8 · answered by mo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just hangout only if you feel comfortable doing so. You may become really close friends
2007-03-30 23:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by *Benny B* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when he says do you want to go out just say ya but just as friends
2007-04-01 20:37:42 · answer #10 · answered by Destiny R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋