For men only - would you seriously date another woman during while seperated and not divorced?

Question

I really like this man who is recently seperated from his wife ( not yet divorced)..how risky is it to date him? What did you all go through your first year of being seperated from your wife? He is emotionally unstable at times, is that normal considering the trauma of a seperation? I have never been married. Thanks

Answer 1

I'm not a man, but I was separated, and being separated gives you no right to be with someone else. You are taking time away from each other, and separated does not mean divorced. Wait until the divorce is finalized, and separation does not mean the marriage is over. Our relationship is much better now than it was before. I would stear clear of this, this is not going to be a good situation.

Answer 2

As a guy who dated while separated but still married, I say yes. It is a bit risky, mostly cause at first there is that chance that he'll go back to his wife. Or us that as a excuse to break up with you. And yes the instability could be caused by the break-up of his marriage (this not knowing how long he was married or how long it's been since they separated or why they separated) or his unstablness could be why he's separated. I waited about eight months before i got into an actual relationship with someone after i got separated. And it was another 2 or so before i got into a committed relationship (been with my current wife since 2002 and married since 2005). It takes time for the issues and drama and stress to clear up from a separation/divorce. I say give him sometime and some love and see if he starts to get his life straight. If he doesn't, then split, and find someone who you can feel stable with.

Answer 3

I do believe any man should take some time to cope with there seperation but in any case if they think they may want to rekindle the love they had with the spouse then I would stay away. I would really ask if there is any chance they would get back together if there is a possiblilty I would tell the guy that at this time I think you are confused in what you want to happen here. If he come's to the realization that he will not be getting things back together with the spouse then I would say sure go for it this may just be his way to get over the marriage. Considering marriage it is completely normal for him to be a bit emotionally scarred. In the end you may be his soul-mate so just take it slow and let him finalize his divorce if that is what he tends to do.

God Bless and Good Luck!

Answer 4

I'm living a similar scenario.

My wife and I have been seperated for the past couple of years. She took up with some other guy. I decided to get myself together, acknowledge the mistakes I made, and as best I can, forgive her and honor the vow we took before God.

To me that means that I have to accept her for who she is, focus on the friendship we had when we first met, and honor her. It hasn't been easy but it is slowly getting better. There are less butterflies in my stomach when I'm around her. I don't have to lash out. Of course I feel hurt, rejected, sometimes jealous but I caused a lot of pain too. This takes work.

I decided not to get involved with anyone else until this marriage is resolved.

Today, I approached her about getting a dissolution and I guess her boyfriend felt threatened. This is a guy I had to tell a couple of month's ago that we're not friends - you can't sleep with a man's wife and expect to be friends, or in his case, pretend to be.

Eventhough me and my wife have been apart, the fact of the matter is that legally, spiritually, and emotionally we're still married. That truth is the big elephant in the middle of the room.

One thing about people who step outside their marriage regardless how bad it is, is that they are very unstable - temporarily insane from time to time. That's my opinion and I believe many would agree.

For you, I don't think it's worth the payback in misery. You deserve a high-quality relationship. If this guy is recently seperated, he's probably very emotionally insecure and still very much attached to his wife (whether it's anger, hatred, fear, or love).

Earf!

Answer 5

Only if she or her husband had actually filed and I saw a copy from the court. It is normal for him to be going thru a lot of emotional roller-coastering, especially if she fooled around on him. After my divorce was filed I personally foreswore all women (I had been treated so rotten) and then just by accident met the sweetest woman on the face of the earth. Well, if you consider that nowadays 60% of all marriages end up in divorce, if you are in any age group above 25 most everyone you meet that is not married has been divorced, so if that qualifies them all to be "risky" then there is no hope - not for you, and not for the future of society

Answer 6

Risky? Yes, from an emotional standpoint.

The key word here is 'recently'. This guy is going to have a lot of emotional baggage. No matter WHAT he says, you ARE a rebound. Not good (for either you or him).

I personally didn't date prior to my divorce. Didn't want to give the woman any ammo to use against me.

Answer 7

Okay I am obviously not a man, but I don't see anything wrong with dating someone who is separated I mean unless its like the first week of it or something. But obviously his marriage is over, so I'd kind of keep it casual at first and get more serious as things go on, just remember protect your heart!

Answer 8

NO, because I am still legally married to my wife, and if I was seriosly dating and even having sex with the other woman, my wife if we were in the process of a divorce could use that against me.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Think tell him you will be there when he gets done. You are dealing with a very wounded man,i know ive been there. If you like him tell him that and resure him of that. But you need to let him lick his wounds.Also men are very very vaunerable and you/he might commit to something that is to fast and will not last because of the way you went into it.