How do I become good at starting conversations and keeping up with others socially?

Question

For a long time, I have had a problem with interacting with others. It's very hard for me to keep up conversations with other people other than members of my family. Whenever I do talk to someone, it always leads to an awkward silence. It's starting to annoy me, and my frustration is starting to grow quite a bit. I always don't know what exactly to talk about, and I think that I spend too much time trying to think of something to talk about. What should I do?

Answer 1

Read newspapers,watch television news.Be knowledgeable on subjects that you are interested in. You don't have to be a "Know It All",but be aware of what is going on in the world. Also be a good listener.

Answer 2

Do you mean that you want to be able to hold your ground conversationally, or do you really mean "keeping up with others socially"? I don't mean to sound rude, but they seem to me to be two very different things. Conversationally speaking, you can improve your skills by listening carefully to others, following the news for daily updates from around the globe and by taking some time to consider each bit and decide what it means to you. There is no shame in admitting that you have little interest in a topic. Take the topics that do interest you, look into them and form opinions. That is what conversations are ultimately all about: interactive information and opinion exchanges.
On the other hand, if you are worried about keeping up socially, then you probably need to spend some time getting comfortable with yourself. To me, the phrase "keeping up socially" encompasses the whole human environment: conversation and interaction, demeanor and social skills (as in using the right fork and not slurping your soup), clothing and all of the other things on that long list which separates the rungs of the social ladder.
In a nutshell, get comfortable with yourself, your interests, your passions and your inner compass. Ask your close friends or relatives to be guinea pigs and use them to get comfortable initiating small conversations on topics which interest you. As it gets easier, you may find yourself joining in more and each conversation will be easier than the last. I won't guarantee that you'll soon be striking up deep, philosophical debates in the checkout at the local grocery, but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that you will find yourself joining in more and more comfortably if you take time to discover what it is that drives you.

Answer 3

Sometimes it's more about your ability to appear comfortable and at ease than what you say. I've always been a social outcast and most of my life I couldn't figure out why people don't like me. Over many years I gradually learned that my facial expressions and body language put people off. I come across to people as sad or hostile even when I'm feeling good. People tend to back off from sad & hostile people. I didn't get laid till I was 30.

I never overcome this. I'm over 50 now and still can't socialize. I've no friends and people still are repelled by me...but I'm pretty sure I know why. I guess that's something.

Answer 4

talk about what you like, or what you want to do,. that's what everybody else does,.