I just want to move on and be happy with my life, but my ex always finds me at school or calls me or messages me. He's obsessed and convinced that he loves me, but I just feel so obligated because I would feel like it's my fault if he did anything. He insists that he doesn't try to make me feel that way, but he keeps doing it over and over again. His mom asks him for advice in her marriage because the step-dad spends all their money on drugs and there are two other little kids to take care of. My ex is the one who pretty much holds the family together and at school he doesn't have many friends and a lot of people make fun of him. Please help!
2007-03-30 12:44:39 · 18 answers · asked by Loreana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey everyone has a sob story **** I have one. want to here it and then you can hold my hand so I feel better and i can bring you down in the process. Point being you can't save everyone and it sounds like he is using his situation to gain sympathy from you. Break it off don't surround your life with negativity...negative things will start to happen all around you...
2007-03-30 12:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Diva Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably because of the weight he deals with in keeping the family together that has caused him these social problems. Here's an important thing for you to know. It took me a long time to learn this simple fact. YOU CANT CHANGE PEOPLE. No matter how giving you are, how caring, how well you reason with them, how much blood you give to help them, they only change if and when they are ready. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
He obviously needs you emotionally. That is apparent. And your sense of obligation is understood because you are a caring person...caring enough to struggle with this on this forum.
When you say school, it sounds like high school. If so, you shouldn't be forming life long commitments this early in your life.
2007-03-30 12:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by sickblade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for his predicament, but he shouldn't threaten this because of the break in the relationship. Tell him he isn't being fair to you, to threaten these kinds of things.
Maybe you could offer to go to counseling with him, as a friend and nothing more. In that way, you could lend moral support without obligating yourself to maintaining a love relationship with him.
Sounds like he has a lot on his plate, to be so young. If it's any comfort to you, just between us... most people who threaten suicide don't try it. Of course, don't mention that to him. Don't want to give him any ideas.
2007-03-30 12:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be nice to him,talked to him about his problems,he
always love you in your heart,asked him to be his friend,better
take care of the kids and blessed them,at school,if some
people make fun of him,tell the principal,he will handle this,
it ;s good your mother talked about your marriage,tell your
stepfather to laid off buying drugs,drugs is stupid,you had to
take care your boyfriend for now on,don't breakup with him,
he will take good care with you,don't thrown this away,please.
2007-03-30 13:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by clownman70360 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know just how you feel i was in the same situation and still are he texts me all the time and still lives with his mum and dad,when i keep getting the texts i delete them straight away and don't look at them because i will fall in his little web. he need to grow up leave you alone so you get on with your life and be happy but he doesn't want you to be happy. if you have anymore texts let me know i might beable to give you more advice
2007-03-30 12:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by deepone36 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing he does is your fault. Nothing his mom does is your fault. Your ex is merely a "travel agent for guilt trips" in the words of Dave Ramsey. DON'T BOOK A TRIP!!! Its another way to try to force you to come back to him, its a control thing whether he realizes it or not.
Get on with your life, you deserve better...
2007-03-30 12:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anah B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go ahead and kill his sorry *** if that's what it's going to take for him to get over this but you're going to live! And another thing, stop calling you or you will file harrassment charges against him. If he thinks he's got problems now, wait'll the cops come knocking on his door if he bothers you again!
2007-03-30 13:49:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
high school? college? change you # and tell someone of authority what he's doing. sounds like stalking to me. you have no obligation to him and should not feel guilty over his circumstances. this is not a guy you need to have anything to do with. he's coming to you b/c you keep letting him. it has to stop somewhere.
2007-03-30 12:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go tell the school counselor. Its way too big of a deal for you to handle. Ask the counselor while youre there how to deal with him.
2007-03-30 12:56:19 · answer #9 · answered by Peg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Encourage him to go to a school counselor - it seems like there's a lot of pressure in his life. However, that doesn't give him the right to make it your burden too.
2007-03-30 12:48:29 · answer #10 · answered by Matichel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋