okay im sorry but im confused?

Question

life is something we have to live for OURSELVES, right? not others.
we were not put on earth to please others or live for them.
And everyone knows that the world is a selfish place right?
well saying that so what if people kill themselves! So what if they are selfish! I mean really the rest of the world is just as selfish and we are living for ourselves not others so we shouldnt be making decisions based on others feelings right?
i mean you wouldnt have sex because your friend said he would be mad and upset if you didnt, would you? NO! thats because you are making a decision based on how YOU feel, living for YOU! anyone see my point? even if you dont agree?

Answer 1

I think I know where the confusion arises from. And I agree that some people are very selfish, but not the whole world.

Let's start big: with the world.
I don't believe the world is either a selfish or an unselfish place. The world is what we make of it. With the exception of extreme conditions, we create our own reality.
We can choose to see it as half full, half empty, or simply half.

We can choose to please others or to please ourselves.
Hopefully we choose the path of wholeness/the path with a heart and not the path of fear of ridicule or fear of acceptance.
Life is about balance... learning when to give and when to receive. If choosing self-respect or kindness puts you at odds with someone claiming to be your friend or lover, maybe that someone isn't as worth it as you thought they were.
More specifically, if someone controls others by threatening to hurt themselves, then maybe the only nice thing you can do for them is to point them to help or tell someone who can help them rather than agonizingly keeping the whole thing quiet.

But to cheer up a friend, or help impovershed or oppressed people who are truly in need is at once unselfish and makes you feel good about yourself.

Answer 2

I don't know onwhat authority you base your assumption that we were put on earth to live for ourselves or that we were not put on earth to please others, but it isn't very logical . You wouldn't have gotten old enough to write this question if somebody hadn't invested a lot of unselfish time into keeping you alive and teaching you to write.
You are assuming that it is possible to live just for yourself and that an individual can actually exist separate from other people. "There was a we before there was a me." You were born from inside another human being. You were born into a community. The quality of your life depends very heavily on your relationships with other people. And that involves how other people feel and what they think. People sometimes do take actions that are selfish but not everyone all the time. People could not do any of the things that are necessary to creating civilization if people acted only according to how they feel. BTW the Simpsons had a wonderful episode about what happened when everyone in town started doing only what they felt like doing. One of the problems with basing your actions on how you feel is that feelings change frequently. It would be a sad thing to committ suicide because you feel like it and too late realize you don't feel like it any more. I'm guessing your relationships are a little rocky right now and it feels like everyone in the world is being unbearably selfish but that will change too.

Answer 3

You sound like Cain. 'Am I my brother's keeper?'
You do not know the world. so you cant say 'the rest of the world is just as selfish'. An ethical person does the right thing anyway, whether or not it is reciprocated.
It would be more accurate to use your argument to say that, you can act selfish if you want, but when you get burned, you know you had it coming.
If your friend wants to have sex, he doesnt rape you. This is because most people dont consider themselves to be the end all be all of life. You see my point?

Answer 4

Being selfish is thinking of yourself, this does not mean you won't think of other humans. A mother has to think of herself as well before her child because then if she only concentrates on being a mother and not the woman she was born to be, how will that child value or know who they want to be. Selfishness if done with love and a brain will never harm another life. Deciding to be selfish is better than people pleasing because it really matters who you are and what you want in life. Loving who you are as a human is very important because aren't we worth more than that. Who wants to live someone else's life for them and that means we have to think of our happiness, not always thinking of others. Look where non-selfishness has lead humans too, suicide, addiction, low self-esteem. If you can find a balance between Selfishness and Compassion you are a great human being.

Answer 5

Hello. I think that in some sense that the answer to your question is in the question itself. I mean that it appears that you already have an opinion on this matter. I do see your point. The world is a selfish place. But notice that not everyone commits that ultimate act of selfishness. That has to mean that some people are not in entirety.

Answer 6

You are right on the sex thing.We should care enough about others that if theyre in need and we can help them , we should.We should be willing to sacrafice for those we love, or want to teach a better way of life.Standing up for whats right when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt its right despite who it offends is right.Suicide in a way is selfish it says to GOD"I dont care what YOU have planned for me,if I cant have my life my way I will end it because I am so miserable because of others, my circumstances and Im in so much pain I want to die and I dont believe YOU love me or care about me, I just want what I want and cannot have it my way".Sometimes this is the case, other times its because the person has never felt loved by others and their self esteem has been totally destroyed and they just want the pain to end.Other times people use the threat of suicide to manipulate others into doing what they want.

Answer 7

Yes, I have to agree with you, you are confused. Slow down and take a breath, whatever is bothering you will soon pass and hopefully some day you can look back and laugh.

Yes, people kill themselves and others, yes people have sex for the wrong reasons. If you think of yourself and how this will affect others around you, you can never make a bad decision.

Yes, you see, I get your point.

Answer 8

I agree, but I feel better about myself when I do good things for other people, so I help other people out of selfishness and I see no problem with that. If you harm people out of selfishness then I don't want you to be near me.

Answer 9

There's a lot of questions in your details! All of those need to be broken down one at a time, reflected upon and chioces made concerning those aspects first. That should take you perhaps 20 years or so by which time you'll no longer be confused, or AS confused.

Answer 10

I see what you are saying, but who would want to live like that. Everyone is making everyone else's life better, so why not pitch in. We are all in it together contributing to society to reach the same place.