Would you get upset, or feel bad if everytime your husband gets into an argument with one of his sisters either he takes it out on you or blames you even if you had nothing to do with it? He always seems to take his anger on me and it hurts me and upsets me, I don't think I can hanlde it anymore, I love him but enough is enough, am I beign over sensitive?
2007-03-30 11:52:58 · 14 answers · asked by Monica A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband is immature and insensitive. He needs to take an anger management class. Don't allow him to abuse you in this way. Let him know what he is doing and that you will not be used that way.
2007-03-30 11:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, Monica
You should NOT bear the brunt of your hubby's anger, especially if the anger stems from a fight you had NOTHING to do with in the first place. I'd be getting into a conversation with him about it when he's in a good mood & isn't currently having issues w/ the sisters. Be honest, no nonsense & FEARLESS. Let him KNOW how much it hurts you. Ask him WHY he blames you/takes it out on you & make sure he KNOWS thats how you percieve it; he may not even realize what he's doing, so DON'T attack him or appraoch him in a pissy mood. Be calm & level-headed the whole conversation. Make it a two-way street & make sure he can talk, too! Let him know that if he doesn't stop usuing you as his verbal punching-bag every time he needs to get out aggresion from a fight w/ his sisters, you're going to walk. Simple. To the Point. But don't forget to keep calm; again, guys often don't have much common sense when they are angry & he may not even KNOW he's taking it out on you, hon. Be ready to be sensitive to his apology, but be ready to be firm, too. Best of Luck!
2007-03-30 12:03:06 · answer #2 · answered by Spiral_Dancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know I understand you are upset with your sister and you need to vent but is it possible that we can talk about it and stop pointing fingers about who's fault it is . I love you and I want to be with you but you have to understand you are hurting my feelings and stressing me out over something I had nothing to do with , I have no problem with helping you deal with these problems but you have to understand I am here to love you not to be your personal hate magnet when you fight with your family ! Good Luck !!!
2007-03-30 11:59:45 · answer #3 · answered by Me777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being oversensitive at all; he shouldn't be dumping that stuff on you. You need to tell him how it makes you feel when he does that -- don't expect him to pick up on it without being told. He does need to work those feelings out, and you should respect that. But helping him through those feelings does not require you to put up with abuse. Make it clear to him that you're on his side and want to help him, but be firm in refusing to be an emotional dumping ground. If he wants to talk it out with you, fine. If he wants to yell at you when he's really angry with someone else, that's not acceptable.
2007-03-30 11:58:16 · answer #4 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No..it's not o.k. Understand this. A person can only feel one feeling at a time. If he is mad then he is mad. When he is happy, he is happy. He needs to learn how to control his anger (let go) which is at the root of this issue.
2007-03-30 11:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by Tadow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to be upset. you have nothing to do with the argument so why take it out on you? stop being a victim and stand up for yourself. enroll him in kickboxing. he can let his anger out in the gym.
2007-03-30 12:04:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your husband is being immature, selfish and unfair to you. He has anger management issues and needs counseling. If he refuses to get counseling, I'd consider separating from him or filing for divorce!
2007-03-30 11:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by Tom B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you knew he's like that in the first place.. and if it bothered you, you should have told him from the beginning. i dont think there is anyway to change a man. but if you cant handle it anymore, talk to him first, before making any drastic decisions
2007-03-30 12:25:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has some problems.
2007-03-30 11:58:45 · answer #9 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u are ryt 2 feel lyk this! u havnt done nything!!! stand up 4 urself! xxx
2007-03-30 11:56:06 · answer #10 · answered by youdidnotjustsaythat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋