Do I hit her or do I play nice?

Question

Recent my "best friend" and I have been fighting. She said somethings to me that were untrue and hypocritical. I came to realize not to long ago that our friendship was changing. She chose her boyfriend over me 90% of the time. I felt left out and alone. Even when i was with her. I thought that we would always be close. I know things change and that was very unrealistic of me. (This is her first boyfriend ever) So, I finally distanced myself. I made another really good friend. Yet, another best friend. She's amazing and I dont feel left out around her. Not even when her boyfriend is around. But now Im being accused of always hanging out with her. Always sharing stories. Not being a good listener. I told my ex-best friend that I didnt want to be friends like we used to. Was I wrong? Was that extremely mean? Some one please help me on what to do next. I dont want to be angry and I dont want to be sad about it anymore.

I Did tell her about how I felt. More than once. I felt like she didnt listen or that I was wrong/crazy for thinking that. Finally i got fed up.

Answer 1

Go with your heart. Only you know what really happened. Why put yourself through heartache and pain? When she grows up she'll realize what she did. Good luck.

Answer 2

My best friend and I went through a similar situation in highschool. She got her first serious boyfriend and I got put on the backburner (not to mention he was just a jerk).
I do not think you were mean, I think you were honest even though she may have found it hurtful.
The thing is, I understand she hurt you, but maybe your friendship is worth salvaging? I think you could let her know that you're not ready to be as close to her as you once were, she's going to have to put in some hard work to regain your confidence in her. She may never be your "best' friend again, or she could become good friends with you and your new friend.
My best friend and I eventually made up and moved on, and I'm so glad we did. It's all about forgiveness, you have to realize to some extent that your best friend is human....if you decide to forgive her, let her know this can't happen again. If it does, you can't promise you'll stick around. It's up to you though, do what you feel you should.

Answer 3

no i dont think that you were wrong at all. i know it might hurt but in life you realize that a lot of your closest friends were just using you or just arent really friends. i think that you did right. you guys can still be friends without being best friends. and when her boyfriend is gone and your not there shell realize what she did and it will be her feeling bad.one of my friends has recently done the same thing to me. im not just upset at her but her boyfriend does things ON PURPOSE just to get me mad. but showing him my weaknesses wont help anything. she was always there for me when i needed her so until her boyfriend is gone, im just there if and when she needs me the most. i have talked to her and she knows that im mad but it doesnt matter to her. if she keeps it up our friendship might fade away slowly but at least i can say that i tried. so just talk to her and try to work things out. if that doesnt work then wait for her to realize what a great firend that she has lost! good luck you can do it girl!☺

Answer 4

I've been in this same situation with a few of my friends in the past few years.
If possible, you should always try and stay friends with someone who you've considered your "best friend." When I first moved to the city I lived in, I made friends with a few people but there was one that became my best friend. We grew apart in the recent years after 7 years of friendship but we try to stay in contact because of fear of losing each other.
If you feel like you were wrong, then maybe you were. It's up to you to decide if it was wrong to tell her that. If anythign else, just talk to her.

Answer 5

hit her she is a self considerate ***** and i know she is your friend and when i had my first boyfriend i always still hung out with my friends and we were always together the thing we did was COMPROMISE so many nights a week she spends with you and the rest with her boyfriend any way they are not married yet so i guess she shouldn't be spending so much time with them sorry for calling her a ***** but that is what she sounds like sorry once again

Answer 6

Make up! Talk about it, it's not that hard once you start talking. Tell her what you have been feeling, tell her exactly what you've told us. "Our friendship has changed, I felt left out. So, I found someone to hang out with when you're with your boyfriend."

Answer 7

I really think it was wrong to just go out there and tell her I believe you should give her a reason of why and if she says she didnt know that then tell her its okay and say lets try to start over and blow this off.

Answer 8

Don't hit her that only causes things to escalate negatively. You explained it real good here, explain it to her and if she doesn't get it...it's not you! Caution... don't put so much expectation on people...one day amazing might not be able to rise to the label and again you will be disappointed.

Answer 9

You have to sit down with the "best friend" and tell her exactly how you feel. That's the only way to get thru this...honesty and communication are your best allies right now!

Answer 10

Girl, I would have done the exact same thing! But I would feel bad about it later....
If I were you I would go up to her and say"Hey, I'm sorry..the truth is I was just feeling left out so Please forgive me and can we go back to being friends again...." Because she might have not known she was doing this.........