Do you think that it is possible for a man and woman to be JUST friends? I am having issues with my husband...

Question

My husband is a mechanic. Recently, a woman started working in his shop. Now they are BIG buddies( note the sarcasm). At my job, I do not get off till after 11pm. I have came home a few times now and found her here with him. He says that she is a tomboy and he is not interested in her sexually at all, because to her, she is not a real woman. But, all the times that I have seen her, she is wearing a short skirt and a revealing top. I am very upset by this whole thing, and my husband, just says that I am being ridiculous and that we obviouosly have trust issues in the relationship, because I don't trust him. I have always trusted him before. In light of the evidence, what choice do I have BUT to believe that he is cheating? And the bad thing about it is,is that it is being thrust in my face.

Answer 1

Even if he's not now, doesn't sound like a good idea. If you play with fire you can get burned. Maybe you do have trust issues, but him hanging around his mini-skirt wearing co-worker isn't going to resolve them.

Answer 2

Well, it can happen. my best friend is a guy, and I like to think I'm hot. plus I always wear clothes that show off my shape. but nothing has ever happened between us, and it never will. we are just really close friends. I go to his house all the time. I would say don't take his trust away or (no offense) nag him about it, until if and when you get real evidence of cheating. hope I helped! Good luck!

Answer 3

I think you are being very reasonable. She sure doesn't sound like a "tomboy" being that she's wearing short skirts and such. My answer is that no, I don't think a man and a woman can just be friends in most situations. I think eventually something else happens. Your husband should respect that you don't feel comfortable with this and stop having her over the house. That's really taking it too far.

Answer 4

Well, you guys need to have the one major rule set...
"Whatever i do, you do, whatever i dont do, you dont do"
It has worked 10 years for me and my man.

So if it makes you uncomfortable for you to come home after a long days work and find ms. mechanic hussy USA sitting half bare in your living room laughing with you husband, then he should put a stop to it... just for you.
B/c God forbid he came home after a long days work, and there's Dave... the guy that works at your office... he is wearing a wife beater shirt and you guys are just laughing it up.. while you cook him some din-din. Do you think he might have some "trust issues" then? Hell anyone would! Its not just you.. its everyone ok.
Not only that.. but a person should NEVER put themselves in "the situation" even if they think the person is attractive or not.... you just dont do it..
You shouldnt be alone in your house with someone of the opposite sex. It just doesnt mesh well with your ideas.. ya know.
So bottom line.. you tell him... to stop it right now.. that you dont deserve that uncomforable feeling... and everything should be thought as in a "vice versa" idea. If it aint ok for me.. it aint ok for you.. . and v/v.

Answer 5

Out of respect for his wife, a man should avoid being a lone with a woman not related to him. it's jsut dangerous. The people on Italian Job said it best, "it's not you I don't trust, it's the devil inside you I don't trust." You should be concerned but pleasantly ask him to grant you this request.

Oh, and not to be personal or vulgar but make sure he's getting what he needs with reagrds to intimacy. Wives tend to play this as a small issue.

Peace!

Answer 6

I'd B gone!
Whatever happened to communication?! He should have told you about inviting here over Before he 'Decided' to go behind your back. If I did that to my girlfriend I'd be thrown out of my own house on my a**!
You know that's disrespectful! If you're not around, no telling what happens when the pants are dropped! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see and know what's up! Love doesn't do that! Get away as soon as possible! This isn't a soap opera! No explanation needed!
Then again, "Tom Boy?!"! He might be working his way up to asking you for a threesome! You might want to check her for a strap-on!

Answer 7

First off, what evidence. Second, i find it funny that the roles are reversed. If a guy asked a girl if a man and woman could be just friends the girl would say, of course. Truthfully, I would tell him that you dont want her at your house when you are not there. This thing could develop into something more.

Answer 8

1. She's having to work hard to even look like a woman if she's got to wear a short skirt and have a top that shows she does actually have breasts.

2. You're not there. If you want your husband, be there, even if it means changing your hours or your job. How can he relax with you if you're not there? If you want him to be looking at your breasts etc. rather than whatever she can muster, then be there to give him the opportunity to look at yours.

Answer 9

Its not a trust issue its a jealousy issue. and you have it big time. My guy talks to lots of gals, where he works, where he volunteers, he has overnights with his scout group and their adult women leaders there and and so what?
What is making you like this? Are you finding condoms on the floor? the bed messed up? What are you seeing or not seeing that is making you crazy like that? Guys don't always see women as sexual objects because some gals just don't swing that way. You know what I mean?

Answer 10

If he isn't cheating, he's working up to it. It's not that men and women can't be friends...they can IF (big IF) they are both sure to keep the boundaries VERY clear. In this case, that is not happening. If he truly just wants her as a friend, she will only be invited over when you are home. They won't go out one on one. Regardless what he says, what they are doing right now is dating.