My husband drinks and i will not let him drink in my house. I force him to go outside if he wants to, no matter how hot or cold it is. If he drinks in th house, i will go out and not come on for the rest of the night. I have also put up papers saying what alcohol does to your body all over the house and wont let him take it down. He tells me "because i exercise it is ok". that is not true!! makes me so mad!
I am being to harsh on him?
2007-03-30 09:56:16 · 28 answers · asked by Neha B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and yes, he drinks everyday, at least 5-6 glasses.
2007-03-30 10:09:47 · update #1
If I were your husband, I would leave your demanding, demeaning, overbearing butt in the dust!
You think treating him like crap is going to make him stop drinking? Doesn't he own the house too? You don't want a husband, you want a slave you can boss around and treat like a dog!
Do him a big favor and divorce him. He deserves better than you!
2007-03-30 10:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 6⤋
My husband is a drinker to these type people have addictive personalities, I don't think you are being to harsh. My husband is a beer drinker. He says's its only beer. Its still alcohol I will not buy it for him. or have it in the house. I work nights 7p ti 7a he works 11a til 11pm. When I come home I find three to four empty sixteen ounce bottles. Last week it came to the breaking point. I told him I would give him $1,500.00 to move out, the next morning he told me he would contact his brother that lives out west and plan to move. I told him how much I loved him but its just not enough and I just could not take the drinking any longer. Since then he has done much better. I just thought I would share my experience with you. Again you are not being to harsh. However I would stop with the information posting around the house. Your husband probably is well aware of the damage he is doing to his body. But he is in denial. Maybe some family counseling is need for both of you.
2007-03-30 17:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by Janst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about the situation you are going through! I think you need to provide additional information in order to provide you advice. Do you think he is an alcoholic? If so, then I think you need to get counseling to find out the best way to reach him. An information campaign on the downside of alcohol may not be the best approach. If he is just a social drinker, then it sounds like the two of you have different values about alcohol. I think you should, in this situation, talk through your different values, including a dispassionate discussion of what you consider the downsides of alcohol. You need to explain how it impacts you! You should also be open to hearing his arguments and what he gets from drinking. I am a purely social drinker and find a glass a night helps relax me. After you discuss it openly, you should be adults and come to a common ground. Insisting on your values and leaving constant reminders around doesn't sound like the hallmarks of a mature relationship. Again, if he has a drinking problem, consult a professional on the best ways to approach the problem.
2007-03-30 17:12:15 · answer #3 · answered by jd0601 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both need to talk to someone, because and I'm a non drinker, but some alcohol is good for you. I'm glad you don't drink, but isn't it his home also?
I would rather him break your rules than go out and drive, as I was a deputy, and until you pick up the body parts of babies you just don't know what drinking and driving can do to ppl.
As long as he's not falling down drunk every night, what's the problem? I'm assuming the rest of your life together is good?
If it bothers you to this extreme you may just need to divorce him and find a non drinker.
2007-03-30 17:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime you try to control someone else you are being violent yourself. I'm serious. You are two different people. If he's just having a drink here and there, big deal. (and I grew up very religious too, but I realize it's not all about me.) If he's got a drinking problem, that's a different story...but even still, you can't really put him out of his own house for it. All you can do is let him know you're concerned about his health. How would you like him to try to force you to stop wearing makeup, because it "may" be hazardous to your health, and not let you in the house to apply it? Think about this? Are you his MOTHER or his PARTNER? Also, you're going about it ALL the wrong way if you really wanted him to stop. You can catch more flies with honey, Girl. If you're a b*tch to him, all it does is make him want to tell you to f*** off, and do whatever he wants even more. You're going to cause the end of your marriage because you want control. That's sad.
You really need to think about what you're trying to be in this relationship. Personally, the more someone tries to control me, the more I want no part of them anyway.
2007-03-30 17:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a nut to put up with you. You wont allow? You wont let? Lady, he should put you in a glass and then send it for recycling.
Just what gave you the idea that a person has to go with your ideas or thoughts? I bet that you are the first one to scream and whine if another tries to tell you that you must accept something or that you should see it another way.
Maybe he drinks because it kills the pain of realizing what he married.
2007-03-30 17:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn’t you know he drank before you married him? Does he drink an occasional beer or does he drink excessively? There’s a big difference between the two.
"i will not let him drink in my house"
It’s HIS house too.
With that said, nobody’s getting/being drunk in my house, but I would never attempt to deny my hubby the right to drink an occasional beer (if he wanted, which he doesn’t because he's not a drinker, but still…)
2007-03-30 17:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you very much, you are angry for a good reason. But your way to resolve the problem is wrong. In fact you are going to get even worst problem then you have now.
You see, he will find some friends or even women who will drink with him and they won't demand anything like you do right now. They won't complain either. Forcing him out of the house, you are forcing him to find the way to do it with someone else.
He must decide to stop drinking himself, by his own wish. Otherwise your actions won't help, even with all yours best wishes.
Find professional help.
2007-03-30 17:53:02 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not at all i don't think ur are being harsh at all because if one day he drinks too much he could really hurt you i think you should do yourself a favor and divorce him because you deserve better than him. i have learned all about alchol and what i've learned is if you know someone who drinks you should stop being with that person because not only could he hurt YOU he could hurt OTHER people too so let him go, get another husband.
2007-03-30 17:15:15 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Harsh!? Try controlling and overbearing! who do you think you are? I know your his wife but you have no right to treat him that way. And who are you to say it's YOUR house...if your married it should be "our" house. It's okay that you dont drink but he has a life too. And if he wants to drink then he has every right. I dont necessarily like it when my fiance drinks a lot..but thats life! You knew what was coming when you married him so dont play dumb now! Do him a favor and move out! Since your so prone on making it YOUR house!
2007-03-30 17:06:30 · answer #10 · answered by Kris 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hell no it's not harsh. Drinking in excess is vulgar and I don't allow it in my home either. If they can't respect the fact that you don't like the drinking than maybe they need to consider WHY you don't like it. Not only is it bad on your body but it impairs thinking and causes alot of Domestic Violence.
2007-03-30 17:28:07 · answer #11 · answered by Rae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋