What gives people the right to choose your career for you?

Question

I'm a senior in high school now. Now that I'm almost done with high school I know I have to chose a career but the people around me are demanding that I be what THEY want me to be.
My uncle told me that I WILL become a Lawyer or a Nurse WHEN I graduate from college. He told me that he will be very disappointed if I don't major in either of them. He's the type of person who expects you to follow his "instructions" but will never listen to a word you say. I can't stand it! My parents taught me to respect family but when he starts demanding the impossible it make me want to hurl something at him. What am' I suppose to do to make him stop controlling my life? And talking is out of the question since I tried that and fail. Twice.

Answer 1

Try asking these people if they believe that the people who find success in their careers are passionate about what they do. There is only one correct answer to that question.

Then ask if they'd like to see you be successful in your career. There's only one correct answer to that one, too.

Then ask them how passionate you are about (nursing, Law, or whatever their trying to impose on you). How can they answer that honestly? They cannot.

Remind them that only you have the ability to identify your passion, and that you believe that in following your own path, you will find your right place in the world.

However, be certain to spend time contemplating this issue thoroughly. Though there is no absolute rush on solidifying your career path, careful consideration is important when attempting to identify career goals that feel right to you. And, having a plan, be it for your education, job experience, skills training, etc. can really help you to reduce the time it takes, and the mistakes that you're sure to make.

To summarize, nothing gives anyone the right to choose your career for you. You will spend a long time in the workforce, and you deserve to feel happy, to feel as though you're making a difference, and to find success in your profession.

Best Wishes!

Answer 2

Law and nursing, the two are so different that your uncle clearly doesn't know what he is talking about.

You don't major in Law as an undergrad, although you can major in pre law which is next to worthless if you change your mind. Actually you learn the same things and more when you go to Law School, so you are better off majoring in something else to make you a more rounded person. A degree in pre-law will not help you get into a better law school, so study what you want.

People feel the need to tell you since they have much more life experience. They have already made the mistakes that you soon will make for yourself, they want to help you to not make them.

Go and study whatever you want, fact is half of the kids will change major during college. Just tell him what he wants to hear and then do whatever you want. How is he to know the difference until it's too late?

Answer 3

People cannot choose a career for you. You may not be able to choose one for yourself at this age. Go around and ask for suggestions on the careers that interest you, what you have to do to qualified and you decide. Someone may want you to be something that they wanted to be, but they failed and would like you to do it. Your uncle may have wanted to be a doctor or lawyer in his time but wasn't smart enough. Maybe those fields are in demand and you could be settled for life. Listen to the answers when you asks " whys" to his comments. Do the answers make sense? Get a second opinion to your questions. Maybe those are the only careers he knows about that are secure. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE / OR LIKE DOING? Will your career choice be able to support your dreams and ambitions? I started as a yard-boy at 16, worked in the orchid flowers industry, sales, driving, operating heavy equipments. In construction, I did carpentry & mechanical engineering. At present I'm an EMT-B and I do my work very well with no complains. I did courses in electrical installation, furniture construction & upholstery and presently doing construction technology. I can go into anyone of the above fields and be my own Boss and form my company. As an EMT-B, Nurse or lawyer, you will always be working for someone. Set your goals and decide which career can help you to acheive them and stay on that course. If you fall off your path, you may end up like your uncle and force someone to be something that you couldn't be. Choosing a career is hard. Go out into the field and explore but don't stay too long. If you're living with your uncle and he can't LISTEN to you, then you decide the best and safest option. If not, then you need to do a hearing test because you can't hear a damn word he's saying. GOOD-LUCK!

Answer 4

No one has the right to make the decisions in your life, except you. It's your life, Tell them that you need to start making decisions on their own and that you have to start learning from your mistakes and prepare for other problems to come. They don't have the right to make you choose this or do that. You got to stand up for yourself. Your family has high expectations. Show them you could still be all that without being a lawyer or nurse. My mom is just like your uncle. Controlling, and a perfectionist.

If you don't want to talk to them, go ahead and choose your major. Yes, they will be angry at you, ignore you, but if you want to start making your own decisions, this is a risk you have to take. Sooner or later they will forgive you. And be proud.


Your parents taught you how to respect family, so RESPECTFULLY explain to your uncle that being a lawyer or nurse isn't what you want to be. And you want to accomplish your life goals.


Good Luck!

Answer 5

Jesus. Who would have thought that uncles are getting in on this game now? Talk to your parents about how hard a time you have respecting him when he's trying to map out your life for you. They'll understand that. As for deciding on a career, take an inventory of your skills and interests and build on that. I know of an excellent career-matchmaker test you might want to take.

Answer 6

You have 2 choices:

Do what your uncle wants. You'll probably be miserable for a good portion of the rest of your life and always wish that you had done what you wanted.

or

Do what you want. Your uncle will probably be disappointed temporarily, but he will eventually get over it. It might take some time and it will be difficult, but eventually he will get over it. Most important of all, you'll be happy doing what you want to do.

Answer 7

When you turn 18 tell your uncle that you are an adult and expect to be treated like one and that you will choose whatever career you please.As long as you'll be able to support yourself doing it, then he shouldnt have any problems with it.Look into law and nursing you might like of them, your uncle loves you and means well, he just wants you to be able to support yourself financially without a lot of money troubles by picking a good paying feild.

Answer 8

Unless your uncle is paying for your college tuition, I don't think you even owe him an explanation of how you're choosing your career path. You don't have to be disrespectful, just nod and smile when he talks about it, then change the subject. If he asks about your studies, give him some vague answer and then change the subject.

Answer 9

Just listen as he talks and as it comes in one ear let it fly right back out the other. No one has the right to control your life. It's about what makes you happy not him. Avoid conversations with him of that nature if at all possible.

Answer 10

He is just your uncle, if he can't deal with you doing what will make you happy then tough. If you do what he wants you to do you might end up miserable. Take these as suggestions and do what you want to do because ultimately you are the only person that can make yourself happy.