I've been with him for 6 years and now i'm cheating with a man i work with....?

Question

We have been together for 6 years and i love him to death. Things between us started changing once my father died 8 months ago. He use to come with me to see him but that stopped after christmas.He cant seem to keep me happy. He cant keep a job. theres always an excuse. Whenever theres a problem its me to handle it. I feel more like a mother then a fiance. Maybe its me. I started talking to this guy that i work with who is completely different from who i'm with now. I know what i'm doing is wrong and everytime i tell myself that i'm going to stop this today but i cant seem to help myself. I really dont know what to do. Should i break it off with the both of them? Or stay with the guy i've been with for 6 years and work it out? Should i tell him? I love him but is love really enough? And being that i've been cheating does that mean i'll do it again? I've never cheated on him before...i dont know what to do...can someone help me?

Answer 1

I really don't believe that someone needs to answer this question.....you know the answer. Evaluate your feelings for both...you say you love your man, but are you IN LOVE with him? That makes all the difference in the world. Now, the other man....think hard on that one, because he is only filling a void in your life. Again, all I can say is evaluate things, you may throw away the best thing that ever happened to you!

Answer 2

well coming from someone with a lot of friends with guy problems i can tell u that u really need to stop and really think about what u feel u you know the saying the grass is greener on the other side well sometimes is true. i think that a 6 year relationship deserves at least some respect don't end up being the one that screws up try to sit down and talk to him no matter what he is doing it will not compare to u cheating on him, i think u both need to talk things out like adults and see where u are at, if u really love him like u say then don't do that to him, u may realize that u are only with this other guy cause he a smooth cat and u are in a vulnerable stage or maybe is time to end your engagement and realize that you are only with him cause u are used to him, but i think the only way u can do that is by being honest with him and let him know exactly how u feel, and what u need in order to keep that relationship going be serious and confident when u talk to him and you'll see what happens
good luck

Answer 3

First of all a person who loves someone to death
as you put it does not cheat ,no matter for what
reason. You have been with him for 6yrs and if you
have problems with him then you need to talk and
let him know how you feel or what you lack from
him. If he can't seem to keep you happy then
tell him what you need to be happy. This other fling
you have on the side will not help the situation with
whom you are with now. You need to get rid of one
or the other as you cannot have both.
You also need to sid down and have a look at your
self and see what it is you want in life so you can
continue from there. Make a decision as it has to
be one or the other or as you stated none, it
totally depends upon you.

Answer 4

I think that you don't really love your man cuz if you did you wouldent be cheating and there are no excuses for what you are doing you are just finding of an excuse so that way you wont feel guilty, it seems like you are tired of being with your man and your are going some where else, and if you start getting involved with someone else you dont even know maybe how he is maybe hes a liar a cheat, and apparantly he does not feel bad that you are in a six yr relationship with your man Hey ask your self this question what if your man was cheating on you, and he said he loved you how would you feel then well anyeays I hate cheaters and I say there are no excuses for what a cheater does once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 5

You have to weight the pro's and con's of both people and then sit down with yourself and ask yourself what is it that I really need and who can give me those things. If once you cheat it usually means that you will always cheat, if you don't want to be labeled as such only you can change this. If you tell your bf of 6 years it will probably be over, what do you want and need? or do you think you would be better off single for a while? Love is not always enough because the truth is a big part of love and if you cheated then you are telling your partner that you are not trustable or lovable. Take care Heather

Answer 6

well i think you are really a sweet girl stuck and a bad situation that you caused

but i think that that fact that you cheated and you are still cheating is the most sickest thing i have ever heard of

i had a man cheat on me and it broke my heart i think you are really a kind person i do but what you are going is sick and wrong and one of the worst things you can do to someone

but there is hope Hun the fact that you are blaming him for you cheating is a red flag

i know losing some one hurts relationships and maybe its to much for him to handle but you are cheating and its your fault not his

also he cant make you happy and the things he does cant make you happy only you can do that and it seems like you are asking him to make you feel better about your father passing and how sad you have been

so tell him what you have done and if he wants to try to work it out then try it and if he leaves you then let him find someone that will be faithful and dump the person you are having an affair with cus the fact that you have to ask weather you should keep cheating or you shouldn't really means that you dont feel really bad about what you are doing but it is and it drains on you and if makes you become someone you dont want to be so stop it now

Answer 7

i once left a man i had been with for 7 years, because he lost a job, met a new guy, fell in love, and not a year later got dumped, and my heart broken. looking back after all these years, the guy i was with was the better man, had i only tried to work it out, i would not have had to go through all that misery. right now what u are feeling for the new guy is lust, excitement, the honeymoon stage, where all u will see is the good from him, u won't be able to see anything wrong, most of it is that u are seeing someone new, so the other man is not going to look as good to u, in fact u will even begin to make up reasons to leave him for the new one, so better think twice about this.

Answer 8

Telling him is going to be tough...but you should. Obviously, things need to change in order for you to be happy. You owe it to him to tell him and see if the two of you can work it out. If not, then there's very little you can do, but you should try. You've been with him for six years, you can't keep this kind of secret from him. About the other guy...just stop for a moment. Take a break and try to work it out with your finace. Then decide on the other guy after, and only after, things have been decided.

Answer 9

OK.....first off if it was true love you wouldn't have cheated to begin with. Secondly, why would you stay with him when your not happy. If it's been six years and he's been the same during this six years, what makes you think he'll change now? I wouldn't keep things going with the other guy either because it's obvious you're only with him because he gives you what the other guy has failed to give you. You can stay with him but I guarantee you it won't last forever. Maybe that's not what you're looking for either. You need to move on, find a guy that will treat you right, not one that expects you to support him.

Answer 10

You may care about him, but if you LOVED him then you would not be cheating. You say you can't seem to help yourself, but that is just an excuse. We ALL have something called "self-control." Please know that you are being unfair to both of them as well as yourself. People are already going to be hurt from this, so the time is now to engage in some damage control Figure out what is best for all of you, and do it before things get worse than they already are.