She said she is done trying to rekindle he just does not want her. She told me she will not continue to live this way. I feel so bad for her. I think that some of her health problems are psycological because she is so sad. she will not seek proffessional help How do I help her?
2007-03-30 07:24:26 · 24 answers · asked by scruffie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um... you don't really say why it is that they weren't intimate. So I'm not sure how to advise you.
2007-03-30 08:45:58 · answer #1 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH YEAH !!! It seems to happen more often than we imagine. I've known several women who have made those claims and had to start using "toys", fantasise about other men and contemplated cheating. It's bound to happen when a guy loses the "taste" for romance and sex. (Weirdos, I think) One of the women even asked her husband if he was gay and he said no. He's very devoted to her otherwise, so it's difficult to understand. In another case, therapy didn't work either, nor the "male enhancement" meds. The woman was literally flipping.
Now here's my question to you: Is there a possibility that this lady is seeking comfort or satisfaction from you? Be careful to not fall into a trap unless you're willing to stick to it. Most likely, if you turn out satisfactory for her, you'll get stuck with your friend and all her baggage.
And YES, these situations are unnatural and likely to trigger undesirable health and emotional issues.
It's a case of "irreconcilable differences" at this point and they're not likely to stay together depending on their ages and her seccurity.
2007-03-30 07:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by forlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, do as you've done--listen to her.
Her relationship is a very unhealthy one and by that I mean both physically and emotionally. A man just doesn't lose sexual interest for no good reason and a mentally/emotionally healthy woman wouldn't stay in or tolerate a sexually dysfunctional relationship for that length of time.
Stress and emotional upheaval can bring on all kinds of physical health issues, inlcluding the reason for the husband's lack of interest.
Has he sought help to resolve this issue? Have they tried as a couple?
If they've exhausted all help or if the husband simply refuses, then let her unload on you, but urge her to get emotional help from a certified counselor. She needs to understand that more than likely, the reason for her husband's lack of interest is something that he is or isn't..whatever it is, it's probablly on his end.
It could something as relatively minor as high blood pressure, performance anxiety or a hormonal imbalance. But if he's not willing to investigate and correct the problem, I think she has little recourse.
So, be a friend in need when she starts divorce proceedings and unless a miracle happens, she WILL file.
2007-03-30 07:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by I am Laurie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only a professional Counselor can give advice of this nature since it's usually a symptom of other problems in the marriage. If she won't get help maybe she doesn't want to address the problem/s.
2007-03-30 07:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a terrible, and a hard situation. She can a.) get some toys, which honestly, after a while, just doesn't do much good anymore....or b.) get out of it. If she doesn't want to get out of it, then maybe he can get some viagra or please her in some other way or something, but if he's not willing to do any of those things, he's selfish....and she may need to consider what SHE needs too...and do whatever she has to do to take care of herself.
2007-03-30 07:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you really can do anything at this point. The only think left for them to do is to split up. I'm suprised it's been going on for this long and nothing has come out of it. There's obviously issues there for her to work through, unfortunately you can't force her really to do anything =)
2007-03-30 07:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be her friend and try and convince her that if she wants this area of her marriage to change, that maybe she needs to take a look at herself, and get her some help.
2007-03-30 07:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, people have to want to help themselves. You can only do so much as a friend. Too many people wrap themselves in thier misery like a blanket, and they like the attention they get.
Hopefully, she will see the light. Have they tired counseling?
2007-03-30 07:30:40 · answer #8 · answered by JeffyB 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is the same as eating food they don't feel like eating. They don't seem to love each other so why stick with the relationship? I think you should suggest divorce or something of that kind.
2007-03-30 07:38:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. It is her life, and she knows her options. To butt in would be a bit inappropriate on your part. If she asks your opinion, suggest she seek counseling.... this (these) problems are likely beyond anyone but a professional........
2007-03-30 07:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get the heck out of the marriage because he is obviously getting his fulfillment elsewhere. Even if they were getting intimate at least once a week it would be better than nothing. Get out I say!
2007-03-30 07:30:38 · answer #11 · answered by hhhhhh 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋