The court system is just not fair. My soon to be ex-wife voluntarily quit her job to be a stay home mom (just pure laziness in my opinion). But thats ok with the court system. If the tables were turned and I quit my job to be a stay home dad while she was working, I guarantee I'd be forced to work. Why does the court system give women so much power? By her not working, I have to pay close to $700/mo in child support. If she was working, I'd pay $450. I won't even try to get custody because I hear it's extremely difficult and expensive for the man to get custody. This is why women act the way they do and be so vindictive; because they have the law on their side. Before I get the smart answers from you folks, her parents don't work and would have no problem watching the child. My parents would not mind watching them either. She's doing this to be vindictive!!!
2007-03-30 07:02:13 · 16 answers · asked by madracer74 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What are you talking about? Why does everyone feel that the children are best with the mother? What about the father? Dads are capable of raising children too!
2007-03-30 07:21:39 · update #1
Sounds like you got played! Having fun paying 60% of your income for child support for the next 18-22 years!
2007-03-30 07:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Are your kids having a difficult time with the divorce? Can you conceive of the possibility that being a stay at home mom isn't being lazy? As it happens, the custodial parent, is a gender neutral term, so if you had custody and wanted to stay home and live on her salary you could. Of course women usually make less than men so you'd have to cut back a bit, but women are used to it and you'd get used to it too. $700 a month for two kids is $87.50 per child per week.
Mine used to eat that much a week.
Give up the anger, it won't do you or your kids any good, a judge made the determination, based on your salary and if you really wanted the 24/7 duty of full time parent, you would fight no matter what the cost, then you could discover the delights of holding two jobs, one as single parent, and the other as a full time employee. Trust me, it ain't easy.
Wait a minute, I just read your other questions, you wanted her to get an abortion? Against her will??? Tie your whosis in a knot and pay you SOB!!!!
2007-03-30 07:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by justa 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I just had my first in March....I quit my job when I first found out I was pregnant. I love staying home with him. I could not imagine leaving him at daycare and taking the chance of missing his first word....or him rolling over for the first time. It would eat my heart away knowing someone else seen his firsts before me. Also all the work and time he needs plus house work...if I was still working I think I would go crazy!! And you don't have to stay home 24/7....we go places all the time...out to the park, walk around the mall..etc. I am 24 and was working at a grocery store part time....if I was still working my whole check would go to pay for day care. So why even work when i can watch him since I would not have the money anyways. guess that makes sense?? lol....My husband is the one that works and granted we aren't rolling in money up to our ears but we are happy and that is what matters. If you are happy to stay with your baby so be it...if you would rather work and put him/her in daycare then so be it. It is a big decision to make...but there is always other jobs...may not be the same one but if you ever wanted to work again you could find work elsewhere. Just make a list of your pros and cons and see which one wins! But I do not regret leaving work at all....I hear how miserble everyone else is that still works there and I do not miss it! Best of luck to you and your decision and good luck with the baby.
2016-03-17 05:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely the court used an imputed income for her? If not, why not? Legally BOTH parents are responsible for supporting their children.
However, as another poster mentioned, if she did work, you might not be paying any less anyway. Daycare is very expensive, and she's not required to use a relative who will do it for free.
I think sometimes Dad is the best choice for custody. But I think many times Dad wants custody just to get out of paying child support. And frankly, that’s what it sounds like in your case, because you mentioned NO other reason for wanting custody/feeling the child would be better off with you.
2007-03-30 07:26:21 · answer #4 · answered by kp 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have legal recourse if your wife just decided to quit just to get a bigger payday. File an objection citing what she could be making in wages. That will allow the judge to make her justify why she should be at home and having you pay the bill. If she doesn't have a good enough reason, she may have to deal with having less money or it could open the door for 50/50 custody, if that's what you ultimately want. Good luck with this in court and stay strong!
2007-03-30 07:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to stop complaining and being jealous of her. Step up and be a man. Mother nature pretty much tells us that kids should be with their mother and the fathers go out and hunt and gather. In today's society women can choose to do what they want, with babysitters and daycare available, but that doesn't change the fact that the best situation would be for the kids to be with their mom till preschool. Why are you complaining? Do you want to be a house-dad or something? Go ahead and do that and see how manly you feel then. Unless her kids are in school, she's not being "lazy" she's taking care of her offspring. You sound like a loser, you need to check yourself.
Ask your children how they feel. Ask them if they like it better when their mom is home as opposed to being in daycare. I wonder what they'll say.
2007-03-30 07:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The courts did not add in the calculations of WHAT SHE COULD BE MAKING (her potentially earnings)???
File an objection the the recommendation of the child support. If the Judge made a ruling - file an objection to that ruling or file another motion to get the CS thing modified. If the courts did not go by the guidelines - then make sure they put their reasons for not following the cs guidelines on the records of the court. (You can use that agains them later!)
They can imput her for potentional earnings, they do it to DADS all the time.
Now youcould go in and ask for more parenting time and try to get SHARED ECO. RESPONSIBLITY....if you search out the web site - the state guide lines will give you the majic number of overnights that the kids need to stay with you, Get those days and bamm the support goes down.
2007-03-30 07:09:28 · answer #7 · answered by WhatNext 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Excuse me but it is not pure laziness to be a stay at home mom, it is a full time job and what is best for your children. Grow up and realize maybe she's doing it to be a good mom. If you didn't want to pay child support you shouldn't have had children with someone you weren't sure it would last with. Men like you who are just convinced women are vindictive and everyone is out to get them are plain immature. I wouldn't let my children grow up with their grandparent watching them all the time, I'm the parent and want to be there for my children. Do what you need to be doing, pay your support for YOUR children, and unless she is doing things she shouldn't be doing with the children or using drugs, etc, it would be selfish and stupid of you to take the children away.
2007-03-30 07:18:48 · answer #8 · answered by exaltedchick 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I know it sucks, but you're LETTING what she's doing really get to you. She knew where it would hurt you most...you're wallet. Take comfort in knowing, "What goes around, comes around"....and if she's doing it to be vindictive, she'll get hers anyways somewhere down the road, and you won't have to do a thing....as long as YOU'RE making the right choices. The best way to get back, is to live a good life, and do right yourself. karma's a b*tch...trust me, it will boomerang back at least 10 times to her, and I wouldn't wanna be standing in the way when it does!
2007-03-30 07:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you have the right to ask for custody of your own children during the divorce process.
it's normally up to the judge to decide who can provide best for the children and who can give the best homelife.
if you would like to be the custodial parent, i would like to ask -- has anyone discussed living arrangements with the children, or are you just assuming they want to be with their mother? kids have feelings, too -- and if they are old enough, i think it's a good thing for them to have a say in where they are living.
i am a woman, and i think that there are many, many fathers out there who are perfectly capable of raising their own children. you are likely no exception.
one more thing... when i was going through the divorce process, the courts decided on the amount of child support based on our PRIOR year's income, not current income.
i hope things work out... try to keep your head about you and remain calm in court, use common sense...
one more piece of advice... in court, always refer to the children as OUR children, not MY children... some judges really "listen" to what we say.
take care, and i wish you all the best!
2007-03-30 07:12:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you are a self centered prick! Try thinking about your kids and not yourself. Kudos to mom for wanting to stay home and raise her babies. More women should be like that. Day cares are raising the kids nowadays and look how jacked up they are. And grandparents should be allowed to be grandparents. They have already done the whole parenting thing.
2007-03-30 07:47:07 · answer #11 · answered by pandog 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋