"I love you any way." Is this good or bad? I've had so much of this lately that i cant tell any more!
2007-03-30 06:16:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My brother ranted and raved over that statement for a while. He said that it usually means "I love you, have always loved you, will always love you. Who *you* are has not changed to me."
He rants, because he also says that sometimes it means "That is a dirty, dirty thing, but I love you DESPITE the fact that you are gay." He tries to be gentle with them... after all... their issues belong to *them*.
Maybe you are picking up on their tone of voice, body language, or you know already that their comfort level is not the highest. I'm like that too... emotional barometer of the people in any given room!
Either way... I believe these words to be more loving than not. Be gentle with the uneasy ones. Maybe *you* will be the one to put their fears at rest, and they in turn will pass it on to someone else.
By the way... I am happy to know you, Pom! Bacon bits... *grin*.
2007-03-30 07:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by Mikisew 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My take is somewhat similar to Mikisew Awasis' on this, I think.
In a way, it's similar to being told that you're 'tolerated', or 'accepted', rather than being embraced for who you are, in its totality. The underlying message can easily be read as the speaker being negative towards homosexuality in general, but willing to 'forgive' the recipient for that particular flaw, since they're so worthy in other ways.
For some who say this, it really is indicative of an underlying disapproval. For some, it's a knee-jerk reaction driven by the stigma often attached to homosexuality in all too many cultures...almost asking some form of forgiveness from society-at-large for not agreeing with its disapproval and instead being open-minded. For these, it's often almost a cry for help...they've been so inculcated with that societal stigma that they don't know how to break past it themselves, though it's *not* representative of their true feelings.
And it doesn't help that so many who have been on the receiving end of those negative perceptions can either be strongly sensitive to any shade of intolerance (understandably so), or apologetic in their coming out, as if also accepting the societal judgment. If someone comes out either apologetically or belligerently, that can help to trigger the knee-jerk response, too.
But I blither. Mostly, I remember when my sister came out -- with joy, pride, and relief, sharing her discovery and introducing her partner, acknowledging that some might or might not approve but making it clear that, in the end, she didn't need or want approval, just openness. Even my mother, from a place and time deeply immersed in those societal norms, barely batted an eyelash. And it was good.
Just a few thoughts to consider. :)
2007-03-30 15:34:44 · answer #2 · answered by tantrickster 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really sure. I wouldn't quite call that "unconditional" acceptance, but it's not really an obviously negative response. It's almost like they're saying, "I don't accept what you are, but I still love you anyways". It's almost sort of a clueless response, as if the people in question don't quite realize what they're really saying. I guess it's better than total rejection.
2007-03-30 14:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its your parents saying it, that is unconditional love. If it is your friends, they are saying OK, they are still friends but there may be an implied hint that is not their lifestyle of choice. Either way, I think that is generally a positive answer.
2007-03-30 13:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by Brent W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn to read people. Most mean what they say, but a few will be hypocrites about it. In Our community it is good to learn to read people early on.
2007-03-30 15:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by Ray T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's both a statement of unconditional love and acknowledgement that they realize that others have conditions.
It's a good thing.
2007-03-30 13:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by bikerchickjill 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My father told me that when I came out to him and it just means that they'll love you regardless. You being gay isn't much of an issue with them.
2007-03-30 13:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would assume that they are saying that it is not there life style but they love you even if your live style is different. I would say it was good.
2007-03-30 13:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea like the others say, thats a VERY good response basically...it doesnt mean they fully accept it, but it means they willl stand by you...which too me is better than "get lost"
2007-03-30 13:22:28 · answer #9 · answered by Katie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's good. They are telling you that they will love and care for you, whether you are gay or straight. Sexuality does not matter to them.
2007-03-30 13:33:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋