I have been friends with benefits with this guy 4 a few months now & when I 1st entered into this I asked by best guy friend what were the rules. He said #1 don't get attached in any way, #2 never think that it's going to be more then what it is & #3 don't ever act or show that u are getting attached if u are. I am not getting emotionally attached & I have followed all the rules.
Is it possible 4 the guy not to follow the rules. This is my 1st fwb relationship so I have made sure I followed the rules just to know that I could handle this. The guy tends to contact me a few times a month when we are not hanging out just to see how it's going. He has called to have a short conversation, but at that time did not ask to come over. This last call he seemed worried. He called because he thought I was ignoring messages from him that I never got. I cleared the air & things are ok. I just thought it would not matter because we are fwb. I'm happy 2 think it matters but what about the rules?
2007-03-30 05:54:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For you who don't know what fwb means it's having sex with no strings attached. It's not dating, and it's not "is he going to marry me tomorrow, it's just to adults having consensual sex, and yes I am ok with it, and yes I do care about myself. I just thought that men could or would handle this arrangement differently or strictly by the rules.
2007-03-30 06:04:19 · update #1
Isn't it amazing how us females decided to use the advantage of having reliable birth control. The fact is as long as you show this guy he really is just a roll in the hay he will act like he is pursuing you. Guys love a chase. However they really never want what they catch for long. We keep reinventing the English language FWB use to be called being a $lut. But heck its a free world and as long there is no little "accidents" I really don't care who you do it with.
2007-03-30 06:13:39 · answer #1 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, well the rules for this were not exactly thought out, because you can not control emotions.
I think it would be quite impossible to not get somewhat attached to the person, even if it is only in a fwb way. If you hang out and have benefits with someone long term, you are usually going to start caring about them in some way or another.
If either of you is falling for the other, either end it quick before someone gets really hurt or decide that you care about each other in a more relationship type of way and start dating.
Rules are out the window when dealing with human emotions, you cannot control those no matter how hard you try.
2007-03-30 13:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by Steffi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't comfortable with him getting close tell him. Otherwise he doesnt know, and could quite possibly set you up for heartbreak. If you think he cares, then you might start to care. Heartbreak. Talk to him, that is the only way you will know, and ignore the comments on here about how bad this arrangement is. And congratulations for being a strong woman who is capable of this!!Not many are, they always get attatched and make more of the act of se* than needed. It can be a level of intimacy, but it can also be just an act as well. Ask all these unhappily married couples.
2007-03-30 13:10:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FWB is a ridiculous concept because it is based on the belief that people can be intimate with one another without regard to feelings, emotions or spiritual connection. The truth is - sex is the culmination of all the feelings of love and passion that you have for a mate expressed in the physical. FWB is a direct contradiction to what sex was meant to achieve. So, I say quit while you are ahead.
2007-03-30 13:02:30 · answer #4 · answered by Challenge 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rules, smooles. He's a human! People can't always control how they feel and the fact that you're happy that he's concerned shows you may care more than you realize, too. Just because there are "rules of engagement" for relationships, DOES NOT mean they are followed.
2007-03-30 12:59:33 · answer #5 · answered by Drew 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FWB is just another way of saying it's ok to screw around. I don't think it is and I think perhaps your FWB is getting attached to you.
Why would you cheapen yourself and be involved in this type of relationship in the first place? Don't you deserve a real life?
2007-03-30 13:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I was in one of these for a few YEARS... Same exact rules. It was fun while it lasted... I never grew any emotional attachment to him, but after about 6 months he did. When he finally told me, I stopped all sexual encounters and told him we could just remain friends and thats it. We are still friends to this day.
2007-03-30 13:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those rules are more like guidelines really.
But the whole "fwb" relationship is a framework created for disaster, specifically, for either one or both. You must know that deep down.
2007-03-30 12:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to relationships of any kind, there are NO rules. Things happen. Just go with the flow...
2007-03-30 13:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by angelsncali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just taking care of the "f" part of fwb.
2007-03-30 13:04:36 · answer #10 · answered by geehaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋