You know the mate is cheating on you, but you stay and make excuses...why? You know your in a dead end job and need to move on...but you don't...why? What happened in your lifetime that made you the door mat that you are today? I seriously want to know...Perhaps your answer to this question can help someone else. Be honest with your answers no one on here knows you so be true...to YOU!
2007-03-30 05:39:21 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think people stay in bad relationships, bad jobs, etc... because they are afraid of the unknown. They don't want to be without a mate or without a job and they're afraid to take a risk or make a move. Also, people can become used to almost anything, so if a relationship or a job is bad, they might stay there because they're used to it, or don't have the courage or energy to get out of it.
2007-03-30 05:44:11 · answer #1 · answered by true blue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion (I'm no expert or anything, mind you) there is two likely reasons as to why someone may grow to play the role of the "door mat"
One reason is that they feel they don't deserve any better than what they have. This may be the result of some kind of a troubled past. For example, a girl is in a relationship with an abusive guy and knows she should probably leave him, but deep down inside she feels she could never do/doesn't deserve any better than him. This compels her to stay in the relationship.
The other reason that I think it may be is that they like it. Some people, though God knows why, actually like to be the door mat. This is probably because they like to complain to others about their problems to receive pity or other forms of attention.
Hope I helped. Best of luck.
2007-03-30 12:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by God Only Knows 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As people say, love is blind and when you are blinded with love its becomes somewhat an addiction like for instance cigarettes. You know their bad for you but you just cant seem to let go, but you try and you may step out of it step by step. So then eventually you will either get rid of this relationship and go on with your life, or you might stay there with you're mate and be treated like a door-mat and then be left heart broken.
2007-03-30 13:09:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey been there done that. I looked in the mirror one day and said Hey, get a life. I was at bottom end and didn't want to do anything. Then I realized that this could be the rest of my life, sitting here in this situation. I got a pen and paper and wrote down where I wanted to be in the next five years. Well, it worked. I finally realized that no one could do it for me and if I wanted it bad enough I could do it. I did!!!!! and I still have that list and it is over 25 years old. Amazing what one can do when they put their mind to doing something. Do it, and good luck to you. You can do anything you want to, as long as YOU put forth the effort.
2007-04-06 11:13:40 · answer #4 · answered by God Bless America 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's called inertia.
People who are afraid of change or taking a risk are the ones who typically stay in deadend jobs or relationships.
The best thing that ever happened to me was being fired from a job I'd held twenty years. I hated the job but wouldn't leave it because of the security. I may not have as much money as I did then but I am so much happier.
2007-03-30 12:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by alikilee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear of the unknown. Alright. you have a bad job, but, quitting, you might find out that jobs aren't that plentiful in your chosen career. Is it better to be without a job all together?
You are in a relationship, and know that the other person is cheating. But, at least your still getting yourself "some" every once and a while. So, you leave and may find it a lot harder to fix the next one, so, it's easier to stay in a bad relationship. After all, a bad relationship is better than no relationship.
2007-03-30 12:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by auditor4u2007 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think some people have a hard time leaving their comfort zone. Things may be bad but its what you know and are used to. If you don't take risks then you will stay no matter how bad it is for you.
2007-03-30 17:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by jenj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change is scary. The unknown is scary. We may not like what we have but at least we know what we have. It could be worse and we get stuck on that. (better the devil you know...)
jobs....unqualified for anything else and scared to retrain, go back to school
relationship....insecure, low self-esteem, don't feel you deserve better, fear this is all you can get, you think it will change, the person will change, fear of the unknown
All of these don't apply to me but some to me and some to people I have known.
2007-03-30 12:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love
2007-03-30 12:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by limitedgirl_t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
different reasons....
ppl dont wanna come out of the security a relationship gives.
they dont wanna lose on the attention
people cant see their partner with someone else officially
u love the person too much
2007-03-30 12:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by niks 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋