Confidence?

Question

I get really nervous and hate standing in front of goups and talking and lack confidence also Im quite shy but I have improved but is there an easy way to get more confidence?

Answer 1

No. There's no easy way.

But there's a sure way. You see, confidence is the knowledge that you can do something (even if you've never done it before). You don't just magically possess this knowledge, of course...you have to earn it.

My recommendation is to get some experience in public speaking. There are some techniques you can learn that will help you do a good job. After you've done it several times, you'll be familiar with the drill and it won't be so scary. You'll be...well, confident. Check out Toastmasters...the best venue I know of to learn this stuff.

A tip...GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT every time you speak. Acknowledge that it won't be perfect, but you'll learn from the experience each time. Instead of beating yourself up for making mistakes, give yourself credit for what you did well. This is the key.

Answer 2

Easy way?

No.

But you have improved, and will continue to improve with each success.

I second the Toastmaster's suggestion.

This fear is not yours alone; it's the number one fear of most people.

When I was in college, a few times after speaking up in class, when I had felt really nervous, I asked other students how nervous I looked, and they were surprised that I had been nervous.

They couldn't see a thing about it.

The more physical distance from the audience, the more true this is -- a lot of people can't even tell when you're nervous.

Even when people notice, they usually don't care much about it -- they're there to hear what you have to say, and are focused on that.

So, remember all these things: few notice, almost everyone else feels the same way, no one cares about your nervousness, and you'll keep getting better and better over time.

The fact that you're a shy person is, in a way, irrelevant.

Public speaking is a performance.

Perhaps thinking of yourself as an actor, who is playing the part of an extrovert will help.

It's not the real you, it's the part you're playing that everyone sees.

And join Toastmasters. That's what it's all about, gaining confidence in public speaking by practicing (and learning the tips and tricks).

Break a leg!

Answer 3

No, confidence only comes with experience and knowledge. I used to be painfully shy but at 47 I am now totally the opposite. The main thing to learn is that you are not always being personally judged and that even if you are, take the attitude of 'so what, life is too short to be concerned what others think'. Only care about the opinion of those you care about, the rest can take a run and jump as they're not important.

Answer 4

Confidence lies on how you perceive yourself,your nervousness when in front of groups may be because you rank yourself as being inadequate to be delivering that message or doing any particular activity u'd be doing,or you are afraid to make a silly mistake that would result in you becoming the subject of much talk.

One of the easy way to go is to start by evaluating yourself so that you know yourself,because when you know yourself you'll know that your personality and confidence cannot be modeled by other people's opinions, because at the and of the day you become what you think, not what you think you are,try to find unique qualities and aptitudes you have, all that you are good at, you'll realize that there is no reason to be in-confident.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes, everybody makes mistakes, like it's said "we learn from them".

"Anyway the one person who never makes mistakes is the one who does nothing at all."

Answer 5

I too have this problem. My situation used to call for me to stand in front of people and give lectures and demonstrations. I used a method of a one word "turn on" to get me started. I picked the word "showtime" as I could fit it into a sentence, such as "It's showtime." as I stepped in front of the group. I don't do the lecturing as much any more, but I still use the word, when I have to. If you are representing a company, remember, that you were picked, because they thought that you could do the job. Also remember, that when you step upon the stage, or behind the podium, you are considered by the audience, to be knowledgeable, on the subject, or you wouldn't be there.

Answer 6

I used to be the same so I joined a public speaking group. The training and advice was brilliant and now you can't shut me up. Membership is only £25 a year and they operate all over the UK. Look under ASC (Association of Speakers Clubs).

Answer 7

when i have to give a speech, i find practising aloud in front of a mirror helps. I also find being able to find humour in what you talk about and being able to laugh at yourself helps. The more you talk to people your confidence skills will grow, just remember everyone makes mistakes thats why we are human :)

Answer 8

the only way is to force yourself to meet new people and talk in front of large groups etc, then it will get easier... eventually you will get used to it and you won't feel so nervous.

Answer 9

just think positive...dont think of what the other people may think about you..you dont have to explain yourself to the others...just relax and remember that being confident is not about not making mistakes but not to be afraid of making mistakes!

Answer 10

Be slitly more ricksy every day.