husband swear...verbally and physically abuse?

Question

My husband always swear to me when we fight. We had seen the counselling but doesn't realy work. He gets angry sometimes with his own mistake but do not want to admit and start swearing. Physically abused few times....full time mom 2 y o son. what shall i do. Shall i still keep this marriage?

Answer 1

Absolutely NOT..Do not stay in a marriage with verbal or physical abuse.NOBODY deserves to be treated that way.Just because you have a child together is no reason to stay in a marriage.Do you want your children to grow up thinking that it is ok to be treated that way..

Answer 2

If counseling is not working and he is not changing then leave NOW and dont look back. Once you are out file for divorce if need be and get full custody of your son. I do not feel that since he is physically abusive and he is only getting worse and not changing that there really is no hope left for this marriage. Once you leave DO NOT go back to him . You also need counseling too to help you deal with and get past what is happening to you. He wont admit things because he wants you to feel all the blame for it and that is not good. You are NOT to blame for the abuse in any way.

Answer 3

Hi -
that decision is only one that you can make, I am in pretty much the same boat, however I told him that I am unhappy and not in love anymore, we are going to try counseling again, either third times a charm or a strike out.
Deep down in my heart I don't think we are going to make it but I am always looking for the silver lining.
We have 2 kids and I feel guilty as all heck and shouldn't. No matter how upset husbands get no matter who's fault they have no right to treat us that way or anyone that way for that matter.
Please be careful, if you feel in danger do not be afraid to reach out for help, there are people who care about you (as I have learned) seeking help is a good thing. It does not mean you are by any means week, you just know when you need help it is a sign of strength.
If you are a religious person and need more strength ask for it. Remember God will never give you more than you can handle, do what is best for you, if you choose to leave do it safe, get help if you need it, and don't be afraid. You are never alone.
Take care and if you want to talk more let me know

Answer 4

I know this will sound crazy but here's the best advice I can give....FORGET ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE!! Stop what you're doing right now, and think about yourself for a minute. Are you happy? How do you feel when he calls you names, is physically abusive, doesn't take responsibility for his actions? Once you've answered these questions, ask yourself one more. If I stay, what will I be teaching my son?

**If you are not happy. Then I think you know what you need to do. If your husband doesn't take responsibility for what he's doing, then he's not sorry. Or if he apologizes, then makes excuses for his behavior, he's an out of control abuser, and needs serious help. Think about this....you have NO control over what he says or does. NONE!! The only person you control is yourself. And the fact that you're taking the abuse tells me you don't love yourself enough to walk away from it. Now I'm not saying divorce him, because I believe people can change. But they have to want to. And even then, you have to be able to SEE the change, not hear them SAY they've change. This takes time.

Maybe you need to walk away for a while to get his attention and work on your self-esteem. I promise you, the lie you're telling yourself to stay in this situation, will eventually come to the light, and you don't want that light to be your son doing the exact same thing to his gf/wife in twenty years. Or, for his physical abuse to escalate, and you're not around for your son in twenty years. You owe it to yourself to do something now.
*I'll keep you and your family in my prayers..God bless!

Answer 5

Well think what are you going to do when he abuses you so bad you end up in the hospital,willyou sstill love him? You need to sit down and try to talk with him and if that doesn't work just leave before you get hurt. Because not only you are getting physically, mentally and verbally abused so is your son. He is in an early age that he wonders why Daddy is hitting Mommy. What will happen when the abues extents to your son, wwhat then? So wait till he goes to work and leave, if you don't have money go to the bak and empty the checking or saving account and move where he can't get you. But be carefull and if you need to chat with someone IM me or e-mail anytime. Also if there isn't much money in checking or saving start saving money and hide it where only you know where it is and when you enough leave.

Answer 6

Get a Personal Protection Order (PPO) against your husband at Family Courts, Singapore.

Write down the latest incident which your husband allegedly abused you and write down the history of such incidents. If, on the surface of your application, the judge is satisfied that family violence was used, the court will issue you with an Expedited Order (EO), which serves as a temporary protection order between the time you file your application and the time you attend court.

The EO can be extended when you attend court and when a PPO is finally issued in favour of you, any use of family violence by your husband will be a breach of PPO and he can be jailed for that.

By the way, there are basically 4 types of family violence and causing you mental anguish is one of them.

Answer 7

My ex husband started out that way..........then the hittin started. He got worse and worse as time passed. One day in one of his rages, he kicked me and broke my back. Abuse is something no one should have to deal with. You have a small child who sees and hears this. He could just as easily grow up to do the same thing or worse case become a victim himself. You have to make the decision. But I suggest you get out of the cituation and seek counselling for yourself.

Answer 8

Hmm....well; it doesn't sound like the situation has improved or has potential to improve. My opinion on this is to get out f the situation. If the counseling hasn't worked and he won't admit to his own mistakes like cussing and physical abuse, then it will get worse, and maybe not with you but possibly with the kids. They don't deserve that kind of treatment and neither do you. It's time to start getting your ducks in a row to get out.

Answer 9

Hell no, go get a restraining order and have him removed from the house and divorce him! No one should have to live like this! Go to your police department and ask how you could get a civil protection order. Its easy quick and can be done with in hours, the sherrif will come and tell him to get out. Hell have 4 hours probably, make sure you are not around when this happens. Good luck.

Answer 10

Hi, I'm a product of a situation like this, I grew up around a man who was abusing my mother and almost killed myself and my brother in the process of his anger -not my father, my parents were seperated my mom got a new man who lived with us for most of my life as a kid. Things were'nt going too well, we were poor and I was constantly in court and going child psychologists, I later grew up as a teenager and started doing petty crime, got involved in pornography, broke into school and private property, once used abusive language against my own mother. Nearly killed someone, was almost jailed, smuggled alcahol, violated property and abused or blasphemed the name of God, was later constantly drawn to the dark side -almost - I had friends who were involved in the satanic cult. Then I met Jesus as my personal Lord and saviour at the age of 15 and am now 24 years old.

All I can say is, don't move for yourself, move for your kids, you may not have to divorce but may need to be seperated for a while. If it persists, apply for an interdict and if he doesn't change see a pastor and consider divorce -never the nicest thing, but your children see the things that happen around you, and constant exposure to this violence will make him grow up to be like his / her dad or the exact opposite, but the exact opposite is never guarenteed. Please for the sake of your kids make the best decision. They never change, atleast not immediately.