We been through counseling, I have changed so much about myself. I have tried to be more understanding but when she gets frustrated she accuses me of cheating, she verbally attacks me, and she says that she wishes that she never met me. She also belittles and condescends me in front of our child. I feel powerless.
2007-03-30 02:00:10 · 20 answers · asked by scgraphix 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is exactly why your wife treats you this way, to render you powerless. She has control issues, which makes her a bully who is daring you to challenge her. She attacks you in front of your child to further emphasize her control over you. The truth is that she feels insecure and if you start standing up to her, she'll probably crumble in front of you. However, as long as you allow her to mistreat you and disrespect you, she'll continue to make your life miserable. Most likely, you don't want a confrontation because you fear a possible breakup. Unfortunately, controlling women see this as weakness and use it against you.
You have all the power you need to stop this behavior. Start exercising your authority as a man and you'll see a different side of your wife. Start showing her that although you want the marriage to work, you're ready to leave if she can't treat you with respect. When she verbally attacks you, tell her that you will not accept that behavior and mean it. Don't allow her to embarrass you in front on your child either. When she tries to do this, tell her in front of the child that you will not put up with it anymore. Finally, when she says she wishes she never met you, tell her that her abusive behavior makes you wish you hadn't met her as well.
Don't be afraid to stand up to this woman. The worst that can happen is that the two of you will break up and you'll be free of her. It may also be that when you switch the script, she'll start respecting you and the marriage will survive. Best wishes!
2007-03-30 03:12:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been to counseling and your problem did not fix. If you have a grass is greener person in your life end it now...that is a distraction that will prevent the fix. If there is not anything other than you are just through with trying...tell her.
Sit down with your wife and make a plan for your separation and divorce. It's best to do this out of any possible ear shot of your child. You may not like the plan and she may not like it either but you will both have complete knowledge of what is going on. Do not begin a relationship with another woman until you are completely free. If nothing else your ex will not have proof positive of her accusations and you will have your integrity intact.
2007-03-30 09:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out! I was in the exact same situation myself. We have separated now and it feels great! I know this sounds terrible, but a person can only take so much. My husband has not been as verbally abusive as your wife has, but there have been some tense moments. It was tough to make the decision to separate, but once it was made it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Remember to take care of yourself & your kids. Everything else will fall into place. Good luck!
2007-03-30 09:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by ohm2007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not happy in the marriage and obviously she's not either if she says she wishes she never met you. then the best thing to do is just end it. get a divorce. If you want try a trial seperation to make sure this is what you guys really want to do if it is then get a divorce and go on with your life. You can still be a great father to your child and not be married and live in the home. Lots of dads do it. I would say get out.
2007-03-30 09:05:11 · answer #4 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in a tough spot right now. Belittling you in front of your child is not good and she is doing more harm than good in doing so. You have tried counselling and she says she wishes she had never met you so it sounds to me like its over. I guess I would contact a lawyer and get things rolling and get out. Dont let her try to keep you from seeing your child either. Dads have rights too. God bless and good luck
2007-03-30 09:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats also a one sided story. It's not healthy for everybody to suggest that it's okay to leave. We didn't hear his wife's side. What happened to innocent until proven guilty. (His wife ) I was in the same situation. Through not defending myself because I'm a pretty private person, the world decided that my ex was a saint. He was far from it. Before you make judgements as to his innocence, consider the fact that he could be playing the victim here.
2007-03-30 09:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by Ari-ah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the marriage counselling didn't work, maybe you both need a different counsellor.
Or, get counselling for yourself, so you can learn to deal with your wife and your marriage issues.
2007-03-30 09:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by joe b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how could you love someone who yell and belittle you and all that, i don't know you but i certainly will not having sex with someone who bad been bad and ------. I rather do it with a hooker than her, dump her or go your own way, for the safe of the children.I think you own part of it as you did not take care of the relationship at the beginning.
2007-03-30 09:18:58 · answer #8 · answered by ubon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing for you to do is seperate. My parents fight all the time, dad does what your wife does to my mother. The only reason they stay together is for my sake, I just wish they would seperate so they both could be happier. It would be the best thing for you, your wife and your child.
Take care, & I wish you all the best in life.
2007-03-30 09:04:39 · answer #9 · answered by Elley s2 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the marriage was over a long time ago. If this is how your wife treats you, then she is basically telling you that she don't want to be married.
2007-03-30 09:15:09 · answer #10 · answered by VK1960 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋