My Child Support is too high. Is there anything that can be done to lower it? I need to live too. I'm IN NC

Question

Before you think of me as a deadbeat dad, please understand that I am willing to pay child support but I think the amount is unfair. I take home about $1500 a month. I pay $628 a month in rent, I was ordered by a judge to pay $444 a month for child support. Utilities is about $150 a month. Gasoline for my car is about $120 a month. I'm in NC and the way the court system figures out the CS amount is they take the income of both parents and determine the amount. The problem is, my soon to be ex wife (currently separated) can work but doesnt want to. She wants to be a stay home mom. Thats why I have to pay $444. If she was working, the order would be $320 a month. Can she just stay home? That's not in the best interest of the child!!. The laywer told me that they cant force her to wotk because the child is under 3 years old (14 mo). What am I supposed to do? If I get a 2nd job, I guarantee she'ss run back to the judge and have the amount increased. The court system treats men like crap!!!

Answer 1

its based on what you both make and because she makes so little you have to pay more-its also based on how many visits the child has with you and anything else you pay like insurance-sorry but what you pay is alot less than other guys I know

Answer 2

This is just another opinion and not an answer, but with any luck you might feel a little better. I am a soon-to-be ex wife, and I may be a horrible mother for this, but I would never consider letting my (ex) husband become my source of income so I could stay at home 24/7 to watch our daughter. I simply know there are other, better ways.

On one hand, the term "child support" certainly entails doing your part to contribute to the child's upbringing, which includes his day-to-day care - in this case it's done by the mother...

But on the other hand, living as a divorcee is far from the same as living as a family in one home, where you can see exactly where your monetary contributions are going. Is she contributing $444 worth of services solely to the child by being around all the time, or should she just get a job and think about day care? I, personally, would want for many, many reasons to go with the latter. Good luck to all three of you.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you have just discovered the hard way the number 1 complaint from men worldwide. The courts dont care how much a financilbind it puts the father in or how you get it, just as long as it gets paid each month and on time. She cannot adjust against you for a second job but if you got a huge raise at your first one since second jobs are considered temporary anyways. The courts are working on what is handed down to them by your states legislature so complain to them about it. Alot of male help groups are doing that but not much luck. The judges are only thinking about the child in these cases. The biggest complaint I have is dads are paying these huge amounts of support but NO ONE holds mom accountable for what she actually does with the money so no one knows if the kids actually ever get the money dad sends to them. I agree with you but til someone comes up with a better alternative, nothing will change. The courts dont force mom to work. Be thankful you dnt get hit with spousal support too, and only have one child. Just dont get behind because the courts treat this worse than they do the real criminals and you will see more jail time than real criminals do too. Now child custody and support are the only two areas you can go back to court after the final decree and have them modified if necessary so if things change drastically,dont hesitate. Also a word of advice, if you lose your job or cant make your payments for whatever reason, contact your support collection agency immediately and that will help keep you out of arrearages. This is exactly why many more husbands choose to live in "bad marriages rather than pay huge child support payments and have to live on the streets. Sorry I dont have a better answer for you but the problem is being worked on. Good luck

Answer 4

Well James Pierre-Louis, I can see why you left mpierrelouis. She sounds very destructive and vindictive. I agree, you should sue her for putting your real name over the internet. That was low. I kind of feel the pain of mpierrelouis but I do know that there are 2 sides to every story and I'm sure mpierrelouis is saying a little extra to make you look bad. I just feel for those 2 poor children that are the innocent bystanders. You 2 should really come to an agreement without the lawyers and do whats best for the children. My child's father sends me $170 a month for our son's before and after care. It doesn't sound like a lot but we get along just fine and he buys our son anything he needs and picks him up anytime he wants. That's how you 2 should be. Just because you 2 are not together doesn't mean the children have to suffer. I'm sure James isn't seeing his children because he is upset with the amount of child support he has to pay. That's not right either. James, you need to be a part of your children's lives. No matter how vindictive mpierrelouis is, you have to overlook that and see your children. Mpierrelouis, don't make the situation worse than it already is (and it is bad). Things like putting your ex's real name over the web shows me what kind of person you are. Both of you need to grow up. It's not a competition right now. It's doing whats best for the children.

Answer 5

Well mens rights arent enforced ever. they will take the money out of your check and put you in jail for not paying. but do they put that much effort in to enforcing parenting time for the parent paying? NO. why don't you try to get custody? she had no job, so ovbiosly your better off than her. i have 3 kids and i don't spend 444 a month between all of them. your paying her bills ect.. theres no way she uses all that money on the baby. no job? she probably gets food stamps, medical and wic. how fair is that? can you get food help since 444 is taken from you every month? NO!!!! Hav eyou ever gotten a blood test? I would hide that I had a second job. a small place. the system does treat men like ****..... You can pay , but have no say. Women are revengfull and vindictive. did you leave her and now shes trying to get back at you. Why do women use kids and child support as revenge????? Plus she probably gets housing assistance to pay her rent based on what you give her!!!!!!!


p.s. she would have to pay rent and other bills if she didnt have a baby. so because she has a baby he has to pay her bills? yeah they add up , but not because of the baby. formula that she probably gets from wic and diapers that if you get generic are `about 10 dollars for 80. even the biggest size. its ridiculous to say he should have to pay her bils cuz she wants to stay home. if she worked why couldnt he watch the baby if they had different shifts? than there wouldn't be any daycare expenses. you all sound like money hungary people.

Answer 6

You should look into this more. You can get the court to go off of what she should be making. Child support is not so that the parent with the children can sit at home and have the other parent do nothing. Also, if you pay for insurance for this child that amount can be deducted from the child support amount. If you get a second job yes she can go back and money from that as well. When you go to court tell the judge your situation and he has the right to amend it or allow you get to a second job without paying more. It does seem like men get the short end of the stick when it comes to child support.

Answer 7

$444 is NOT a lot of money for child support for a baby. That won't even cover the cost of diapers in a month.

If the child would be living with you, you would pay WAY more than that in babysitting costs.

You say that you cannot "live" out of 1500 dollars a month, and you are complaining about your baby and ex-spouse living off measly $444???? Please. Be thankful that you didn't get hit with Alimony since she is not working.

Sorry, your only option is to get a second job and don't tell.

Good luck

Answer 8

I have never heard of childsupport payment amount being determined by both parents income. I am in Tennessee and only my ex husbands salary was counted when they figured the amount he pays. How many children do you have? That makes a difference in the amount of support to be paid. Try looking up child support laws for NC.

Answer 9

first of all there is nothing with you wanting to lower your support. as long as you stay in involved in your child's life. women will have u thinking if u dont give no money you are a deadbeat thats just not the case cuz if you ask them to pay the crazy amounts of child support they would have aproblem with it. there are acouple of things you can do. yes you can get asecond job who says you have to tell her. now i mind you i always believed honesty is the best way but not if she is in your pockets at every moment. another choice you have is to spend as much time with your child as possible they will lower it based on that. by the way consider your self lucky i pay 800 a month. yes try to find ways to lower your bills helps 2.

Answer 10

Actually, your support in not that bad yet. If she works then she also has to pay for Child care, again not cheap, unless she family to dump the child on. Since she has custody of the child she is responsible for 50 % of the care.