My husband of 5 years is moving out this weekend. It has been a long drawn out ordeal. He wants space and has turned to God for help - I can't quite figure out what all went wrong, but I can't change his actions and I'm not going to beg.
My question is this: What parameters should I set as to what he can and can't take. For instance, we have three entertainment centers. Two I purchased and one he purchased. He likes one of the ones I bought instead of the one he bought. Should I let him take the good one? How about towels, kitchen items, tools, etc. I'm staying at the house so all of the lawn stuff stays, but otherwise I am not sure how to be tactful with him so as not to start an argument. Thanks for any advice you have.
2007-03-30 01:44:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First let me say that I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You sound like you're taking this pretty rationally and if you consider that you'll still be living in the house and he's the one who's being displaced you might want to take a little leniency towards what he wants to take with him. I'm not saying you should let him run through the house and take whatever he wants but in the case of the entertainment center, consider the fact that you have two more which will serve the same purpose and in the end, it may be easier to let him take the nicer one and avoid any additional conflict. You can always replace the one he's taking at another time and you may like a newer one even better.
Good Luck.
2007-03-30 01:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by mkoso65 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have three entertainment centers and you paid for two and he paid for one, you're entitled to keep your 'good' one because you bought it. Most households keep a couple towel sets so give him a set that you don't use much, same goes for extra sheets, linens etc. Kitchen stuff can be difficult but I would suggest giving him half of the stuff like glasses/plates/silverware and keeping your pots and pans unless he does more cooking. If he does, go and pick up a cheap set of pots and pans yourself.
I know this is a very difficult time for you, and it's going to be a long road, but I wish you the best!
2007-03-30 08:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a divorce attorney? If so, maybe he or she can give you some advice. As for not upsetting the apple cart, that may be more difficult. This is a stressful time for both of you so it will be hard to avoid an argument. In the end, someone will probably be disappointed with what they get in the split. You're just going to have to pick and choose your battles. Best of luck!
2007-03-30 08:56:29 · answer #3 · answered by Candice B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest to him for now to take the essential stuff that he needs, his clothes towels etc. The rest of the things you can work out in the divorce property settlement with the help of your lawyer. There is no right or wrong as to what he gets to keep, just think what things really matter to you and you want to keep them.
2007-03-30 10:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a major problem with him, I would sit down with him and discuss this issue on division of property. Otherwise things could get somewhat nasty over the weekend.
Try not to be too harsh and selfish, even though it appears he's doing this.
2007-03-30 08:51:05 · answer #5 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What worked for me when my ex left, was to let her take whatever she wanted. I figure, it's ONLY things, and things can be replaced. I refused to prolong the hurt and anger that had already taken place, and get my nerves all torn up, for "things". She was certainly unfair, but after being married to her for 25 years, I already knew she would be. I let her take whatever she wanted, then replaced it, or did without it. My peace of mind was worth more than all she took.
2007-03-30 08:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
On the entertainment centers give him the one he bought. On the other smaller stuff spilt it down the middle, it's only small stuff.
2007-03-30 09:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him what is his, what he paid for, and what you don't like or use.
Keep the better stuff for yourself. You will never regret it.
This is honest advice,
Good luck
2007-03-30 08:57:20 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats gonna be a tough one... If he paid for it, hes entitled to it, and vice versa.
2007-03-30 08:50:23 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Taryn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk about this stuff tonight and make up a list of things he's taking
2007-03-30 09:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋